To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

[alleoindup]

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

I left mine once to go to the loo came down and a big pot of nappy cream was smeared all over the furniture and all over him! (Different child to the one who opened Christmas presents early). They were both overall very well behaved children but sometimes their little brains glitch, just like adults who make errors of judgement, or grown women scrabbling about drawers trying to locate the engagement ring they think their bf has got them!

Of course - a 4yo may very well be thinking he's doing the right thing opening them. What an odd comment, and please calm down.

I have 5, I wouldn't actually do it but I wouldn't think someone was abusive for doing it. I'd certainly have to send them for a little while because I'd be so angry.

Proving the point you really don't know about child development & impulse control.

Don't be daft, 4 year olds aren't that stupid

I do, clearly you don't.

Well no, but there’s a sane, reasonable balance between he’s a horrible , future ASBO , little shit that deliberately “ruined” his sister’s birthday and he’s a puppy that doesn’t know any better. Good parenting is finding that balance. The other two are extremes of the same shitty coin.

It reminds me of this. "Hi mum I thought the place needed brightening up a little"

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/aunts-horror-destruction-nephew-caused-26630731

Why were the presents visible? I also leave my children (6 & 4) unsupervised in the house but I make sure anything they aren’t supposed to get into is put away the night before.

YABU in your reaction and feelings towards him. I would have laughed it off and got him to help me re-wrap them. Also your DD is 2, she wouldn’t have a clue if it was her birthday or what was going on.

How do all these people who are constantly with their 4 yo get anything else done :/

No deduced from someone's writing is NOT the same as making it up.

Obviously not writing off a 4yo as an asbo thug but it was a nasty thing to do and op is perfectly reasonable to feel the way she does about it

We had the sudocrem incident too! Such a pain to get out of her and the furniture. Her poo smelled nice for a few days though. Swings and roundabouts.

@GrooveArmada

he knew the presents were not for him but for his sister as it’s her birthday. He knew full well he was in the wrong. 4 year olds are not stupid!

My DS would definitely consider this to be an opportunity to be helpful to a younger sibling, he'd never do it out of spite. You just clearly cannot get a different perspective, but this is not a reason to be offensive about different ways in which children can approach things.

I am frankly baffled so many of you blame a 4yo (!) for opening wrapped up gifts in front of him when he was left alone and that you're coming to it from the POV he did this to cause upset. This would be rather unusual and if so, it raises other questions about parenting and the relationship between the siblings. It is far more likely it was poor impulse control, normal at this age, and that he never had any bad intentions here.

OP - talk to him and explain why this wasn't the right thing to do and stop dwelling on it. He's 4. He'll know better soon.

So what’s the consequence?

@GrooveArmada

nah, at 4 years old, kids know full well it’s the birthday boy/girl that does the present opening, not them.

A friends DD at about 4 wrote her name several times on the wall, she knew she shouldn't, but it was too tempting. Then claimed it wasn't her, but her 18 month old brother 😂😂

You're just not getting it but that's cool. Different kids, different mums, different experiences.

Of course it would be out of spite, at almost 5 they absolutely know that other people have birthdays and open their own presents, they understand that opening the presents is part of the fun and that opening someone else's is ruining it for them. Kids of that age can definitely be mean and nasty.

@GrooveArmada

oh I get what you’re saying. I just think you’re wrong and that you’re totally underestimating the intelligence and understanding of 4 year olds.

He is old enough to learn the consequences of bad behaviour.

How exactly are those of you winding up OP trying to help her? This needs to be resolved calmly so her DS can learn and so her DD can enjoy the day, there's no good in making it into a massive drama now for the OP or for the kids. OP, if you want to understand how to react, ask the whys and see what he tells you, actually talk to your son.

Sorry but this is on the parent, you left him alone.

What do you think would happen... ANYTHING.

You forever see this from parents whose kids 'tragically' died that they never though anything could happen to their kid.

He had time to open and destroy presents so he also had time to put something in his mouth or wrap something round his throat and choke or get out of the house or turn on a heat source and burn himself or break something sharp like glass or mirror on himself or even run water and get in the bath... these things have all happened, many many time in the world.

Even without doing anything 'wrong' being unsupervised is dangerous, I was just shy of 4 when I had an asthma attack (out of the blue, it was the first time) and stopped breathing. I would be dead if my mam hadn't responded instantly.

Your anger is misplaced, your grief would not have been though.