To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

[alleoindup]

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

No I assumed from the way she wrote her OP, she said in a later post she was dressing the 2 yo.

i wouldn't have let him go downstairs until I was ready when there was a pike if DD's presents tempting him!

Yes in subsequent posts, I was replying to the posts as I read them.

as you are, given you've not read my other purses about this

fast moving threads are a bit if a nightmare.

I have completely age appropriate expectations which is why I clearly described it as bad behaviour. But “I can’t even look at him”? No, I don’t think that is how an adult should react to their 4/5 year old’s impulsive bad behaviour, which was carried out while upstairs ignoring them to look after the preferred younger sibling who I bet will be treated completely differently when they get to the same age.

Assumed. Made it up. Tomayto tomato

Na if my youngest (who has just turned 5) did this to one of her older siblings I'd not want to look at her either

I’d be raging and I’d let him know all about it.

Made this mistake when DC was very little. Child proof room(ha!) presents. DC opened my chocolates, opened the box, took the foil off them all. Found them scattered on the carpet, and one with a bite out of. Bloody quick worker. Only popped to the loo. (Not child proof) (Cunning child)

These things happen.

At 4 I think most people pop in and out and leave them for a minute or two.

Also may not have been impulsive, he asked to go downstairs when he doesn't usually, knowing his sisters presents would be there.

This is tough for you. Thing is, yes, he knew it was wrong, but four-year-olds are creatures of the moment and the temptation to tear paper got the better of him. Your disappointment is understandable, and it's natural to feel angry and upset, but you have to act the adult on the outside. Calmly explain what he did wrong, make sure there's a consequence for it, make sure he understands that consequence, and then move on. Your anger and disappointment is yours to deal with, not a four-year-old's.

IMO this is never going to be a funny story.

OP you have learnt your lesson about locking away presents, your DD probably won't remember but i would be giving her extra treats that DS isn't allowed, for her birthday so totes legit.

But he also needs to be told that what he did was wrong and that he must apologise to his sister. And maybe share his colouring things? so he learns when to share and when not to touch?

No I have realistic expectations, based on reality, like what’s happened here.

Not whatever nonsense expectations you’ve pulled out from supernanny 🤷🏻‍♀️

DD painted the telly. Even signed her name. Then tried to say it was an accident/wasn’t her because the spelling was wrong .

I can laugh about it.. NOW.

My very well behaved son once opened presents before Christmas day, it does happen even by well behaved children with good parent(s).

I’ve been known to shake presents under the tree as an adult 😂

No, you just have no understanding of child development, specifically impulse control.

So if a 10yo did it you'd still be saying it's unreasonable to expect them not to because it happened?

My 9yo step smashed her sister's phone up because she wouldn't let her go on it. Is it unreasonable to not expect that behaviour because it happened?

I do, I've worked with children for many years and they are far more capable than people on here would have you believe.

Sorry OP, but leaving wrapped gifts with a 4yo is a recipe for disaster. I think this one is on you, if you didn't want him to touch them, you shouldn't have taken risks. You can't blame a young child, he probably was excited or trying to be helpful. He doesn't think like you.

Rewrap what you can and give the presents to your DD. Explain to her DS was trying to help her and opened some gifts that would be hard to open for her. Don't get upset aboit the packaging, who keeps it anyway?!

YABU.

4 year old children are old enough to go downstairs on their own while a parent is still sleeping. The only person that sounds 'very off' is you.

The sister is 2! She’ll barely register it as “ruined” , much less remember it as such.

This. My 4 year old sits in the living room by herself if I’m busy doing stuff around the house. It’s not like you’re going to drag him upstairs everytime you need to be away from him for 2 minutes.

You’re getting a lot of shitty comments on here op and you don’t deserve it.

I would be upset with dc too but he (I think you said he!) is only 4. Despite knowing right from wrong he isn’t old enough to really understand the consequences. It is shitty but take a deep breath and move on from it and focus on the birthday child ❤️

I’m so disappointed when they don’t meow!!!😂😂

Ah that's ok then

@GrooveArmada

”trying to be helpful?”

how??

come off it!

Please tell me you don't have children.

of course sending a 4 year old to their room FOR THE DAY is outrageous.

he hasn't ruined the 2 year olds birthday!

Oh and if DD is 2, she definitely won't care much or remember this anyway.