Being told I can’t drink out of certain mugs

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m staying at my parents house and my dad has said “don’t drink out of my mug that’s the only one I can find that’s like this so you can’t have it drink from your own” so I said “you’re pathetic and this is exactly why you and I will never see eye to eye. Because you behave like a child”

I made my tea in another mug and never bothered speaking to him for the rest of my time here.

I’d say your parents endure rather than enjoy visits from you and breathe a sigh of relief when you leave.

I have a mug that I don’t allow others to use. Not my husband or anyone.

I even have my own mug at a friend’s house (that she bought) that is just mine.

I get that you just don’t like him and it’s probably well deserved but in this one circumstance you are wrong.

I get it. I’ve never understood folks that have ‘their’ seat, mug, plate, ‘side’ etc. It’s just stuff! But then I don’t tend to get attached to objects, they’re just functional as far as I’m concerned.

I wouldn’t give something valuable or irreplaceable to someone I knew had a habit of being careless, a child or someone I didn’t know well but it does seem excessively possessive behaviour on his part.

OP sounds like a stroppy teenager. You don't mess with someone's favourite mug!
I think you would be more unusual to have no preferences at all (I have my coffee mug, hot chocolate mug, friends and family mugs and tradesmen mugs.).

It’s a respect thing, something you don’t appear to have an abundance of. It’s your Dads house/home he has a favourite mug, no biggie, respect that, it’s easy. If you don’t like it, don’t live or visit there.

Oh, you’re THAT poster. No reasoning with you then!

Aren’t you lovely. Calling your dad pathetic. He should boot your rude backside out.

Growing up, my parents had their favourite mug, bowl, and spoon - no one was allowed to use them! It's a little joy in life to have a cup that feels good and keeps a nice flavour, just let him be precious about it!

My DH and I have a favourite mug and it would be incredibly weird to serve it to a guest (mum, dad, sister, etc) because we have other mugs. Plus if someone is having a tea, then usually they offer to make tea for every one else so we can't have our mugs being used!

It sounds like you have had a difficult past with your dad and that all members of your family seem to have no respect for him. I'm sure he did his part to cause this, but maybe it's time to extend an olive branch? People can change and it's a lose-lose on all fronts if you just want to stay stuck in past grudges.

So your dad’s crimes seem to be having a favourite mug and buying ice cream he knows you like. What a bastard he is!

It’s normal to have your favourite mug you drink out of.

This is obviously deeper than the mug. There’s probably some abandonment stuff going on so when he rejects you in anyway it takes you back to being that little girl who he chose to leave. You push him away/attack him because you are testing him. Therapy could help you come to terms with stuff so you can manage your emotions/reactions better.
but tbh if you were a guest in my house and you spoke to me like that you would be getting told to find somewhere else to stay!
And lots of people like to have their own mugs, very normal you don’t and that’s normal too.

Sounds like you’re the issue but you won’t ever realise it so enjoy being a miserable person OP.

Why have you made up a story?

ETA - she didn’t like him prior to the 1 year split, so ?

Yeah if only OP hadn’t pissed her therapist off, who only made a reasonable request, she could’ve got more help.

Oh well, perhaps she can sort another one.

You are a complete dick. My kids and I all get on and many of us have a ‘special’ mug. For one of my kids, it’s one someone had put out in a ‘no longer wanted’ council waste collection, for another it’s a supermarket one that cost nothing. Others have specially purchased ‘fancy’ ones. None of that matters. We aren’t dicks to each other and don’t use a mug if we know it’s someone’s ‘special’ mug, we grab another or wash one if not clean. Thanking goodness you are not my kid, you sound unhinged frankly.

Totally agree.
I’m always suspicious of posts that are created late at night. Was she bored or drunk?

You've said you resent him because your mum chose to get back together, that was your mother's choice. You've called him childish then listed some ridiculously childish behaviour purely from yourself.
You sound entirely lacking in self awareness and stuck at the age your parents split, might be worth some therapy.

I feel very sorry for your mother as she will be caught between the two of you. Think of her if nothing else

It doesn’t sound like it’s him that’s being childish to be honest.

I never give anyone a drink in 'my' mug. Yes, I have a favourite mug, and a 2nd favourite if the first is in the dishwasher.
I have enough mugs that all guests can have a mug without using mine (all bone china).
Then I have a couple of 'ordinary' mugs for the builders that were at our house recently, as I do not think i want my bone china mugs being left outside.

You need to grow up a bit. 🙄

Brat behaviour!!

Your post doesn't imply that you asked to use his mug, just that you were using it? Yet you would expect someone to ask first before using your things?
Also it's hard to get context from the replies but you are coming across like a brat

Clearly, a bit of you is still 12. Angry at him for leaving. Angry at him for coming back. Angry at your mum for accepting him back. You've not moved past it and perhaps you never will but you need to recognize that it's not really about who he is right now. You're het up on him not treating you like family with the mug, because he left you, and wasn't in your family. Now you want him to prove that he is family again, and he hasn't.

Also, you're protecting your mum. If they split again, you'd chose your mum, and you're showing her that you know that.

They are both adults. They both split, they both got back together. You should probably speak to an impartial person about this because your dad is now likely to be around for the long term, and it's always going to pain you if you don't.

You sound horrible OP.

Of course adults can have their own mug which no one else uses. It's perfectly reasonable.

If i were your dad I'd have told you to fuck off home.