Being told I can’t drink out of certain mugs

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m staying at my parents house and my dad has said “don’t drink out of my mug that’s the only one I can find that’s like this so you can’t have it drink from your own” so I said “you’re pathetic and this is exactly why you and I will never see eye to eye. Because you behave like a child”

I made my tea in another mug and never bothered speaking to him for the rest of my time here.

You can't drip feed information like your parents having separated, and accuse everyone else of 'failing to understand', @ThePerkyCoralPoet! How can people fail to understand something you hadn't told us??

It sounds as if you and your dad are as bad as each other, and I do think your behaviour was childish and rude. If one of my sons was staying with me, and was that rude to me, I'd tell them to go and find a hotel room until their renovations are done.

yep, mine would be right out of the door.

The ice-cream thing? that is toddler behaviour. Mithering for something for ages, then when you give it to them, they just smear it on the floor because they don't want it now

Gently, you are overreacting wildly. The mug just symbolises your poor relationship with him, and that’s why his request for you to use a different one has got on your nerves so much. Coming from someone else, the request might not have been received so badly!

And you could just roll your eyes at him and use a different mug but you're getting nowty and mardy about it and calling him pathetic. The depth of distain and what sounds like actual anger towards him is wildly OTT. It's a mug, it's really not worth expending this much energy on it.

You don't have to stay there though do you? You could have stayed with someone else, got a short term let or paid for a hotel. Presumably you preferred to save money and hassle by staying there. They're doing you a favour and you're being really rude and disrespectful of their space.

Grow up

See, none of the stuff you're on about matters. OP. When you're staying in someone's house then you behave yourself. You do not go on the way you are. Just stay out of his way.

If you can't and are insistent on making an uncomfortable atmosphere for your mother then go stay in a hotel.

So you don’t get on, so why would he let you use his favourite mug, plus, why would you want to if it’s your dad’s mug?

Sure he's clearly grumpy and miserable but at the end of the day it's just a mug and I'd use another one. It's not worth getting this worked up over.

Ok I should have RTFT. You're so obviously childish and petty AF.

On the basis of this thread, I would indeed agree. You sound exceptionally obnoxious. If you can’t behave with civility towards both of them, then don’t stay in your parents’ house, stay in a hotel like the grown up you claim to be, but are showing no evidence of in your behaviour. If your father is as bad as you claim he is, I don’t know why you are giving such a good impression of being the one who is the problem.

So you accept the general concept of a favourite mug that no-one else uses (for your mum, which you are happy to respect and not bitch about), but your dad isn't allowed to have one because you say so? You sound petty and spiteful. Stop using their house as a hotel, and see your mum separately if you don't like him.

This is clearly the latest in a long line of behaviour by your dad that makes you feel that he doesn’t love you, care about you or want to put himself out for you in any way. It’s not about the mug really is it? And I agree it is pathetic for a grown man to be precious about a mug. I cannot imagine my own father behaving like this. My mum on the other hand…

It 'clearly' isn't anything of the sort.

OP has a long history of being offended by anyone and everyone in her life. Her father is just the latest victim.

I had to laugh at this (at bit bitterly, I admit). My parents had a lot of unresolved childhood trauma. I wish I could say they did better with us, but they just perpetuated what they had grown up with. Since they both carried a boatload of baggage into their marriage it did not end well, as you may imagine.

It's easy to say you'll "get a grip" when you are watching other people's kids for a few hours, but it's clear that when you are raising your own, all those unresolved issues come racing to the surface. You can't "get a grip" on what you never dealt with and is before you day in and day out in the shape of your own offspring.

It's fun to make up stories.

I'm with your Dad. Nobody uses my favourite tea mug except me.
The difference is, nobody in our house thinks it's an issue getting riled up about.
YABU.

You’re behaving like a child having a tantrum.

Projection of the finest….

This

?

no one here is a mind reader. How can they fail to understand information you never originally shared?

So he’s doing you a favour then?

cause personally I earn enough money that I don’t need to move in with a parent I don’t like due to house renovations, I’d choose to live elsewhere?

I wouldn’t do this at all if you have twins who are likely to have very different times.

You're ridiculous.

Without further context it's hard to understand why OP is so resentful of her father. Breaking down the gist of things doesn't help.

She keeps saying "we don't see eye to eye" but from the examples given, there's not a justified reason.

He has a favourite mug and doesn't want her to use it. I can't see that as a major problem.

He passed comment on the appearance of her car. Okay, that's not really necessary but other than being annoying, not really noteworthy.

He bought something he thought she'd like and she rejected it. I don't see why. That's just cutting off your nose to spite your face.

She told him they don't have to talk. That really seems to say more about her.

Whilst the parents were separated (not divorced, as far as I can see) her mother had a relationship with someone else. I don't see any indications that OP is upset by this.

It seems that OP perhaps feels that her father is dismissive and rude, and possibly doesn't treat her mother how she'd like? There seems to be resentment about them getting back together. But the key thing here is that this is what her mother wants.

It seems as though it would be better if OP found somewhere else to live whilst work is being done on her house.