Being told I can’t drink out of certain mugs

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m staying at my parents house and my dad has said “don’t drink out of my mug that’s the only one I can find that’s like this so you can’t have it drink from your own” so I said “you’re pathetic and this is exactly why you and I will never see eye to eye. Because you behave like a child”

I made my tea in another mug and never bothered speaking to him for the rest of my time here.

My DF had his mug at his and his mug at ours. I thought it was sweet. I've never used the one at ours even though we lost him 20 years ago. As long as there are other mugs it doesn't matter.

So, your DD offered an olive branch (of ice-creams) and you threw them back in his face because you were still sulking about the mug incident? I think the reason you don't see eye-to-eye with your DD is because you're just like him - childish and "pathetic" (to use your word). YABVU.

Ha, I've found my people!

I have 'my' mugs, DD has hers and DS has his. I've never actually intentionally considered this, but nobody else drinks out of mine, nor would I drink from theirs.

I do have a set of plain white Ikea mugs for guests - and when making a brew for guests I also will have a plain mug.

Our own mugs (and funnily enough, our own egg cups) are in a different cupboard to the others too!

OP you're being daft. He likes his own mug and you hugely overrated. You wouldn't be welcome to stay any more in my house.

His house, his rules (his mug)
You don't have to like it, but either live with it or don't visit

I do get there's a massive back story with the built up resentment. Honestly have you thought about therapy to help you process this.

I see you are waiting for an adhd assessment - have you thought about an autism assessment as well? There is a big overlap and stuff like a burning sense of (sometimes misplaced) justice is one red flag for it. It does run in families so your dad could well be AUDHD which may explain the mug thing.

Maybe realising that if he is autistic/adhd some stuff he will not be able to help doing/not doing might make it easier for you to accept this.

I think you are very much like your father.

You sound extremely petty. Everyone has a favourite mug, I wouldn’t dream of using my DH’s, he wouldn’t use mine, it’s just a thing most people have. Maybe don’t stay at his house next time.

He’s strange but let him have his mug

With respect OP a quick search shows you have over 90 threads on MN, the majority of them being over disputes with family, work colleagues, dates or other random people.
This is a YOU problem.

Are you 12!

I would be pissed if anyone used my coffee mug.

My OH even remembers to ask which of my two tea mugs is my preference if he makes me tea.

Don't touch my mugs. I don't care if you're family or not.

Or my fork.

I have a favourite spoon too which I will side eye if you use but can probably let it pass.

Are you always this much of a prick? YABVU.

And you say your dad behaves like a child.................

And again

I can see why he might.

OP is this really about something else?

You guys have no boundaries.
The easy thing is to not be in contact anymore. The grown up thing to do is to really look at what’s going on in your family dynamic and sort this mess out.
My DD is a grown up, if she fancies using my mug she’d ask, for a little treat, or to see if she’d like it better than hers or whatever, But she wouldn’t just take it and use it, I taught her better than that.

CalicoPusscat · Yesterday 23:18

I never let anyone drink out of the cup I kept for my father's coffee at my house. That is HIS cup although he's now died.

Me too! It's still in the back of the cupboard in case it gets knocked. Dad died three years ago!

Knowing your previous posts, I actually feel extremely sorry for your dad.

I'm so heartened to see that so many other people have favourite mugs they won't share.

Yeah, you are. The way you have written your post, you have come across as a brat! I wouldn't want you using my mug either!

Not read the whole thread, but to post something like this is very strange.
There must be more going on behind the scenes.

Wow, he did something nice for you and you did a virtual flick two fingers at him. If you were my adult child I'd be going low contact with you.

From how you’ve described it, you sound like the problem. It sounds very juvenile. Sorry Op.

Good spot @OpheliaHamlet