Being told I can’t drink out of certain mugs

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m staying at my parents house and my dad has said “don’t drink out of my mug that’s the only one I can find that’s like this so you can’t have it drink from your own” so I said “you’re pathetic and this is exactly why you and I will never see eye to eye. Because you behave like a child”

I made my tea in another mug and never bothered speaking to him for the rest of my time here.

You’re ridiculous. Why would you react like that just because he told you not to use his mug? Most people have ‘their’ mug that no-one else uses. Family or not.

No the poster means it’s not about the mug. A request from someone you liked to not use a specific mug would be net with an “ok , no problem “. That’s not an unreasonable request. You aren’t hearing dont use my mug you are hearing all the stuff he said during your childhood. In isolation, you sound deranged to be so mad about a mug!

Or he loves his mug? I'm very particular about my mugs as I prefer the taste of the drink in specific shapes of mugs.

Obviously you hate him, which may be fair enough, but don’t hate him over a mug.

Wow. You’re so aggressive.

I also don’t get on well with my father, and he does stuff that niggles at me but I would never speak to him the way you did. He must be permanently walking on eggshells to avoid you throwing a strop.

Equally, it's just a mug and you could have chosen another one' You said you wouldn't use your Mum's mug because you respect her. Therefore you deliberately chose your Dad's mug to wind him up.

That is awful. You are awful.

And childish - that laughing emoji because you’re so chuffed you’ve got your own back on him - grim.

Grow up.

Agree. It’s very childish language” he doesn’t even pay for the car” an odd thing to jump to, why would a parent pay for an adults car?

op I’d stop seeing him when you move out, the relationship has broken down completely, him existing is making you angry I think so step away.

i think as soon as you see him and are at your parents house you revert to being a teenager, and that’s a common thing.

why are you living with him though if you despise him?

Wonder if the OP has sobered up yet

So childish she’d cut her nose off to spite her face.

Oh well at least other people got to eat the ice cream she had really wanted. What a numpty 🤣

Are you 10?

No. It's not

You seem to be going out of your way to be abrasive

You wouldn't be staying in my house with your attitude

You’re lucky he didn’t shit on your bed for that. How dare you!! 🐈

Just spiteful I think

So how many mugs are in the house? Just the two, his and your mum’s? Or are there other mugs you could have used if you weren’t so belligerent.

Yes…I can see his point. You’re awful!

I have a selection of mugs, as do all of my family. It would be weird if DH drank out of my mugs because they were bought with me in mind. If all of his mugs smashed, that would be different, but otherwise...no.

Maybe there's a whole backstory here. But from this thread you sound like a petulant dick.

Nowhere near as spiteful as the OP, it's pathetic.

Honestly I think you need some therapy. Based on what you have said here you are being very unreasonable but to be as angry as you are strongly suggests it isn't just about a mug or him not seeing you much during your parents split, and that there are deeper issues and feelings here. You clearly have a lifetime of anger in you and you need to address that for yourself, because ultimately it will be you that suffers. I agree with others though leave now don't stay with them any more, stay with a friend (even if you have to rotate round different people's houses so you aren't overstaying your welcome with anyone). This is a toxic situation and you shouldn't stay in it.

His house, his mug, his rules. The only person behaving like a child is you OP.

Also just to say it may be worth you reading about transactional analysis. It sounds like you are stuck in a dynamic whereby you engage with him in a way that makes him feel like you're a child and he has to engage like a parent rather than adult-adult. What you want to be able to do is shift the dynamic so it is an adult to adult conversation which hopefully will be less fraught.!

Genuinely puzzled at why you created this thread OP, what sort of discussion did you hope to have with internet strangers about your relationship with your father? Have you considered whether you might benefit more from discussing it with someone professionally qualified to help?

Fair enough you two don’t get on. We don’t all have to like/love our parents if we have reason not to. The mug thing is not pathetic though, it’s a very normal thing for a person to have their own that they don’t want others using. In my house all three of us have our own specific mugs, and spots in the living room, and many other things that are ours. As do my parents. By your logic we are all pathetic

I'm not surprised he doesn't get on with you if you have an attitude like this.

It's fine for someone to have "their" mug. We all have our own mugs here - 3 adults. We know which mugs are for who.

I even have my own mugs for tea and my own mugs for coffee and won't muddle them up. I wouldn't be able to drink tea out a mug which has had coffee in and vice versa even if its me doing the drinking. Does it make sense? Of course not! Does it matter, no!