Being told I can’t drink out of certain mugs

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m staying at my parents house and my dad has said “don’t drink out of my mug that’s the only one I can find that’s like this so you can’t have it drink from your own” so I said “you’re pathetic and this is exactly why you and I will never see eye to eye. Because you behave like a child”

I made my tea in another mug and never bothered speaking to him for the rest of my time here.

With the passage of time OP you will realise there is more to life than getting in a toddler type strop about a mug.
Your parents are ordinary people , with flaws like the rest of us.
Perhaps don't go and see your dad for the time being. You are very angry with him already before you try and have a cup of tea with him.
Maybe think about counselling, it might help and couldn't make things any worse.
One day you won't have your parents any more. That comes around sooner than you think sadly. Think on what you want your life and your relationship with them to be before it is too late .

This isn't about mugs or cars boots.

It’s his house and his mug, you’re the pathetic one picking fights like this in someone else’s home.

You’re childish. Regardless of your dad, you’re still childish and a brat all on your own. You're the pathetic one. I wouldn’t let you back in the house.

She’s used to being coddled by mummy so can’t see what a little brat she’s being

People usually have their favourite mugs. You're out of order for speaking to your parent in that manner, though.

Your mum didn’t have an affair but she started ‘seeing someone’ after they had separated ? Sounds like you’re in denial about the true reason for the split. Have you considered that you got your mum’s version of events and that it’s possible the reason for the separation was that your mum was seeing this person, and when it didn’t work out, it was your dad who took your mum back ? This would put your dad in a whole different light wouldn’t it ?

I can never imagine speaking to my parents like that, and my mum left us for nearly 4 years before she phoned me out of the blue when I was at uni.

If I hated someone that much, I wouldn't be staying with them at all. His house, his rules. It's not pathetic for someone to have a designated mug. Even if you thought that, why make a big thing of it yourself? Just use another mug and let that be it.

Perhaps you have a lot of trauma that you need unpicking. Some counselling might help.

I have mugs that I strongly prefer no one else used as they’re special to me and would be hard to replace. If a guest used one I would begrudgingly allow them on the basis I am being a bit precious to forbid it. I would absolutely stop family using it though as I have no need to stand on ceremony with my family and don’t mind if they judge me for my weird and specific feelings.

You’re overreacting. We all have a favourite mug at my parents house and wouldn’t drink out of each others.

I think what you fail to understand is that my parents once upon a time were not together. They separated. Then got back together. I don’t respect my dad so much since then. He didn’t cheat or do anything untoward. They just weren’t 100% with one another. I didn’t agree with my mums choice to take him back

It’s not a failure if anyone to understand. It’s just that absolutely none of this is relevant to your batshit behaviour.

It’s your mum’s decision who she does/doesn’t want a relationship with, nothing to do with you or if you liked another of her boyfriends better than your dad. You don’t have to agree with anything as it’s not your business.

Which is as pathetic as you say your dad is.

This is one of the saddest threads I’ve ever taken part in. I feel so sorry for OP’s parents, and in particular her dad.

Actually, you sound like you are harbouring some resentment toward your father for not bothering with you when your parents separated. As someone who had similar anger in my 20's toward an estranged parent I suggest you get some therapy to explore those feelings. Normally, as a house guest in someone else's home you politely accept people weird quirks. Your reaction to your Dad seems like it's more than the mug.

And the split was never mentioned until this post !! OP mentions that during the year they were separated her mum was seeing someone. Am l the only one who has a suspicion that OP has been fed her mum’s side of the story ? Isn’t it more likely that the split was because mum was already having an affair and when it didn’t work out dad took her back ? Which suggests a whole different picture of dad to the one OP is painting.

Are you a different person outside your parents home? I mean are you mature, likeable, pleasant to be around work colleagues and friends. Do you only revert to brattishness and immaturity when you’re at home?

As I said previously, she’s pissed her therapist off with her rude snarky attitude about a payment, she’ll need to find another I assume.

You sound like a complete bitch. This can’t be real, surely? Surely nobody is this much of a wanker?

So, this is the same dad who you were frantic with worry about (…to the point of careless driving!), because he was in hospital in June, with suspected cancer?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5364639-having-a-major-stress-over-a-notice-of-intended-prosecution

@ThePerkyCoralPoet OP I have favourite mugs that I prefer others don’t use…

…I also had a difficult relationship with my father which started around my early teens and lasted well into adulthood so I can relate to your feelings about him and how much he annoys you. I’m not going to judge you or the situation so I didn’t vote as it’s about far more than mugs and a lot of people won’t understand. Not everyone likes or gets on with their Dad.

P.S. I just read all your updates and yep sounds just like me and my Dad - he did something that really upset me when I was 11 and it went downhill from there.

Oh, for goodness sake. This mug thing is as old as the hills. Did you never have a grandad who had his favourite mug and it had to be treasured? It is part of long term living.

@ThePerkyCoralPoet

You say that but you clearly don't have a normal familial relationship with your father so why would he be ok with you using HIS mug??

Jesus, I love my family dearly but we all have 'special' mugs that are known to be 'ours' & we wouldn't dream of using each other's - that's a pretty normal 'thing' in most families.

It's like you're looking for any little reason to square up to this man. What's wrong with you??

To be honest I think you were both BU but I suspect it was part of a long-standing pattern where minor annoyances are magnified because it's someone you don't get on with but are forced (or feel forced) to continue having some kind of relationship with. At one stage I felt a bit like this about my own dad, although we became good friends towards the end of his life and acknowledged just how similar we were. It's not easy when he still lives with your mum and you presumably want to see her, but is there any way you can just see less of him? It sounds as if being together is not much fun for either of you.

How old are you?
You sound like a petulant teenager and clearly don’t like your dad. It’s a mug, get over it.

Also the correct response when someone gets something for you is thank you.

Bloody hell you sound like my sister. I think you need to grow out of the permanently offended by my dad phase. You are no longer a 16 year old 😂I bet you are exactly like your dad and your poor mum has to put up with the pair of you.