SIL furious niece cut her knee.

[Clockchair]

So I was baby sitting DN 13 months for the first time. We were playing in the garden, she has started toddling about so only walking a few steps at a time. She was playing with my DD 3 years and she's tripped and scraped her knee. Just a normal little scrape, didn't even cry and laughed her head off when we put a special princess plaster on.

Well SIL collected her and is furious. She says I should have watched her more closely as she isn't walking properly yet and this is the first time she had been injured and it was when I was watching her so maybe I shouldn't babysit again. She is also upset that I didn't ring her when it happened.

Now for me it's not a big deal so I didn't even think to ring, that being said I have a 3 year old who is permanently covered in scrapes and bruises so maybe my opinion is a bit skewed.

Was I really unreasonable? I am gutted that she thinks I wasnt supervising properly.

OP looked after this kid for a short amount of time - a fraction of a day. That’s why OP helicoptering wouldn’t have impacted the kid’s development.

I recall my first born slipping on the tiled floor just after learning to walk, and cutting her mouth. Frankly, I lost the plot, slightly hysteric, nearly vomited etc. My only defence was that is was v early in the first lockdown, so I wasn't at my best anyway, but still, a gross overreaction that had DH sprinting away from a meeting to see what catastrophic event had befallen us. After that initial upset, I've been pretty laissez-faire about injuries. Try not to take her ridiculous reaction to heart OP, I'm sure she will cringe for years to come.

Im glad someone said this, how ridiculous, and how ridiculous was the poster who said 'thanks for clarifying' because the OP said this fall happened on grass

Oh thanks for clarifying that it was such a soft 'safe for toddling surface'.

My god kids have been toddling on hard surfaces for hundreds of years, getting scrapes, falling over, they dont fall very far anyway. They'll be fine. It wouldnt have made a jot of difference to the 'safety' of the child if she had been on cobblestones, mud, paved driveway or whatever.

Sil will learn the hard way

I kind of agree that she should be supported as closely as possible if she's just started walking, but SIL didn't need to be rude about it she should have just made a mental note about babysitting

And not necessarily true either, I really do not understand how people can be such doormats (not saying the OP but in general and all over this site) but time and again I find them conditioned to put others first and accept the blame for things they should not.

There are definitely cases where people post to get a cheer squad, but that tends to be people who have done the wrong thing and are trying to make it sound less awful. Sounds like the OP was upset by her sil's nutty reaction and just wanted a reality check, and yes maybe some sympathy for being made to feel like shit over a nothingburger.

Only if she gains some self awareness. Some people never do.

That’s cool, one less kid to babysit. What a total overreaction on her part.

1. No more babysitting.
2. Next time you see her niece and her legs are covered in cuts and bruises, as they surely will be like all other children, make a comment to the effect that she must be a terrible mother who doesn’t take care of her child. And see how she likes that.

You did nothing wrong shame not to babysit again as I'm sure your niece had more fun with you and your child.
Total overreaction from nieces mum.

Kind of you to babysit, you'd be in demand as a sitter/minder as many don't have family to help out. Although we try to minimise accidents the early years are hard work as they know no danger and are wobbly

I think you definitely need to agree with your SIL that you shouldn’t babysit again. And then when she deigns to let you the response should be ‘oh no, I’d be far to worried, you are right.’ And she can pay for a babysitter, cheeky mare.

One less hassle to worry about as you can say how nervous you are to babysit now after her outburst. It’s much better to have paid care as they are professional etc.

You did nothing wrong.

but I probably would have reacted like that, because I was very unwell with post natal anxiety.

I still am, four children later and school now in the mix. BUT, that’s my issue.

I now run a playgroup and am a childminder, but still react disproportionately to normal injuries in my children.

Exactly!

Adds - "mud to be eaten" to the list as well.

Your SIL will regret this. But don't sink to her level, just let it go, and smirk to yourself occasionally when her child is a grubby shambles, as every child should be after a thoroughly enjoyable days play.

Tripping and falling is a normal feature of learning to walk and impossible to avoid no matter what age. She’s the problem.

Would she react that way if a boy child scraped his knee? If she doesn't loosen up, she could totally cramp her daughter's physical development.

First post nails it as usual

Sorry what is PFB syndrome?

Oh well, that’s her down one babysitter.

Really? My two (not far off three) year old is also covered in bumps and bruises. Mostly on his legs and a mix of nursery and home. He just climbs a lot, charges around and wears shorts…

But why? Small, innocuous injuries are part and parcel of learning these skills. They’re are part of how they learn an understanding of risk and how to respond to minor injuries. Also builds resilience.
Small falls and trips, minor bumps and scrapes are just part of normal life.

You've got the perfect excuse if your SiL does ask you to babysit again. You just say 'oh, I would but I'm scared she'll hurt herself again, so no'

This

I remember my sil following her PFB around at that age - literally with her hands out to catch him if he fell. Bonkers!

I was 18 months old and in the bedroom with my mum. She turned her back on me just to put something away in a drawer and I only went and put my hand on the bars of an electric fire! I still wear the scars over 50 years later.