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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL furious niece cut her knee.

182 replies

Clockchair · 22/07/2025 09:36

So I was baby sitting DN 13 months for the first time. We were playing in the garden, she has started toddling about so only walking a few steps at a time. She was playing with my DD 3 years and she's tripped and scraped her knee. Just a normal little scrape, didn't even cry and laughed her head off when we put a special princess plaster on.

Well SIL collected her and is furious. She says I should have watched her more closely as she isn't walking properly yet and this is the first time she had been injured and it was when I was watching her so maybe I shouldn't babysit again. She is also upset that I didn't ring her when it happened.

Now for me it's not a big deal so I didn't even think to ring, that being said I have a 3 year old who is permanently covered in scrapes and bruises so maybe my opinion is a bit skewed.

Was I really unreasonable? I am gutted that she thinks I wasnt supervising properly.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 22/07/2025 10:35

SIL's pfb? She'll learn 😁

Catwoman8 · 22/07/2025 10:37

She sounds insufferable. I wouldn't be so keen to offer babysitting duties again 🙄

Original poster
Clockchair · 22/07/2025 10:37

Dramatic · 22/07/2025 10:30

No she's being ridiculous, this is how toddlers learn, they need to be allowed to fall and pick themselves back up again.

I had a situation when my daughter was around 15/16 months old, left her with my SIL who left her out in the garden alone while she went upstairs to put her make up on. My daughter climbed on to a chair, tipped it backwards and fell face first on to concrete, split her lip and chipped her tooth. I never left her with SIL again.

Oh dear, it was nothing like that.

We were all in the garden together playing, she was being supervised she just tripped. I picked her up straight away as I say she didn't even cry but she did scrape her knee.

OP posts:
HunnyPot · 22/07/2025 10:39

If she is that precious she should look after her own child instead of dumping her on other people!

viques · 22/07/2025 10:55

Newly walking toddlers fall over. Fact of life. Wait until they start doing tough stuff like riding a proper bike! I remember my daughter aged about five or six sitting in the bath gleefully counting up the bruises she had the weekend she learned to ride a two wheeler without stabilisers. “ 32 bruises mummy! “ she said “can I phone Granny?”

I just prayed she wouldn’t get chosen for “Tell your weekend news” on the Monday morning.

autienotnaughty · 22/07/2025 10:57

Ignore her and agree you shouldn’t babysit anymore

jalepenowine · 22/07/2025 10:57

Oh she will look back on this one day and cringe. Maybe if/when she has another child. But I wouldn’t be babysitting for her anymore either.

I remember with my first taking him out with my cousin who’d suggested a walk in the forest. My DS was 15 months and he walked into some stinging nettles because my cousin had asked me to help do something with her own DC and I wasn’t quick enough to get my own son. I was so angry at her for asking me to help her and put my son in ‘grave danger’ lol! Also a bee landed on him that same trip and got caught under his armpit, I somehow thought that was also her fault because we were only there because of her!! I look back and laugh now, we both do!

I’ve since had another boy who is always getting bruises and scrapes while out and about, he doesn’t cry either and just gets on with it! I am far far more relaxed with him! Thank god!! Lol

ShesTheAlbatross · 22/07/2025 10:59

She won’t let you babysit again? Is that a punishment or a promise! She’ll be back when she needs some convenient free childcare in a few weeks, once she’s seen her daughter get a bruise or scrape while with her.

godmum56 · 22/07/2025 11:00

that's fine, no more babysitting!

BoredZelda · 22/07/2025 11:01

BodenCardiganNot · 22/07/2025 10:16

Was I really unreasonable? I am gutted that she thinks I wasnt supervising properly.

You know you weren't unreasonable. You posted to get exactly the type of replies you have got.

Yep. It’s so transparent.

We need to cut new mums way more slack. I was responsible for my nephew’s first cut knee. When my sister came back, I explained, apologised, and said I’d keep a closer eye on him next time as I hadn’t realised he was so wobbly. It doesn’t take much to step into someone else’s head for a moment and act accordingly.

randomlemonsheep · 22/07/2025 11:05

I actually feel sorry for your SIL. Yes, she is completely ridiculous, but being so anxious is not a choice. It must be obvious it's just a tiny scratch with a small plaster.

You've done absolutely nothing wrong, no one would even have considered to call a parent about it. Just stay away until your SIL becomes more chilled.

DisabledDemon · 22/07/2025 11:06

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 22/07/2025 09:56

Precious First Born Grin

Show quote history

Ugh. If anyone's being precious, it's your SIL who needs a good boot up her precious backside.

On the bright side, no more babysitting for her!

SoftPillow · 22/07/2025 11:06

I wonder if you and I share a SIL, this sounds very familiar. We have stopped offering to babysit

HoneyHoneyHowYouThrillMe · 22/07/2025 11:08

I think you will have to decline looking after her from now on.

BeeDavis · 22/07/2025 11:12

Jesus she needs to get a grip as she’s got way worse to come! Can’t even count how many times my 3 year old has bashed his head/face, fallen over and scraped his knees, covered in bruises constantly 😂 He’s got a gray tooth from falling over at school and whacking it on a plant pot 😬 I couldn’t be arsed with her PFB syndrome. He’s also my first and I’ve never been like that!

Themomentsheknewshefkedup · 22/07/2025 11:14

ThatIsABigSon · 22/07/2025 09:38

Im guessing this is her pfb? She will soon run out of babysitters acting like this.

What’s pfb?

LondonJax · 22/07/2025 11:17

Themomentsheknewshefkedup · 22/07/2025 11:14

What’s pfb?

Show quote history

Precious First Born. Lucky she didn't my one and only. First time he got on his feet he smacked his face into the floor! Quick check by the GP, all fine.

Just say 'that's fine' to the 'threat' of never babysitting again. Don't forget to remind her though - when things get tough all threats get forgotten in my experience.

Balloonhearts · 22/07/2025 11:23

Her first, I take it? You're not unreasonable, it's just one of those things. People can be a bit nuts about first babies.

My first, I had a proper chart with exact amounts of formula he had at exact times, every bout of colic, every time he cried for no reason, I was absolutely batshit. I didn't trust anyone with him except my mum and I cried when he got bitten by a bug, playing in the garden.

By the fourth, I'd shove them at whatever unsuspecting relative wanted them and run for the hills! My third tried to kiss a bee, got stung and I just said 'well she won't try it twice.'

Biids · 22/07/2025 11:24

Hmm I don’t know. A very wobbly 13mo - I think I would have been helicoptering. Tripping is almost guaranteed. I think it’s reasonable to feel a bit upset the first time your baby gets hurt. Also, if your 3yo is “permanently covered” in scrapes and bruises, you could teach her to be a bit more careful as I think that’s a bit much. People can be a bit too “cool mum” on here. The reality is that you need to take proper and careful care of small children.

Original poster
Clockchair · 22/07/2025 11:33

Biids · 22/07/2025 11:24

Hmm I don’t know. A very wobbly 13mo - I think I would have been helicoptering. Tripping is almost guaranteed. I think it’s reasonable to feel a bit upset the first time your baby gets hurt. Also, if your 3yo is “permanently covered” in scrapes and bruises, you could teach her to be a bit more careful as I think that’s a bit much. People can be a bit too “cool mum” on here. The reality is that you need to take proper and careful care of small children.

Interesting to hear different opinions.

My 3 year old is a climber, always running a round, playing football, does gymnastics and is also in nursery where they do tend to run round mad. I'm not worried about the scrapes she constantly has and I don't believe in constantly making sure kids are careful as I want my kids to be confident. She has never had a serious injury. So I assure you I do take proper care of my small child.

As for the helicoptering the baby, again interesting to hear a different opinion and maybe I am unreasonable there but the kids were playing a game and I was sat on the floor with them maybe 1 foot away. I think it's normal for toddlers to fall and my parenting philosophy is not to prevent every small injury by helicoptering. That obviously is different to you and my SIL which is fine and so it probably is best not to babysit DN again, at least while she is small.

OP posts:
thelakeisle · 22/07/2025 11:34

Biids · 22/07/2025 11:24

Hmm I don’t know. A very wobbly 13mo - I think I would have been helicoptering. Tripping is almost guaranteed. I think it’s reasonable to feel a bit upset the first time your baby gets hurt. Also, if your 3yo is “permanently covered” in scrapes and bruises, you could teach her to be a bit more careful as I think that’s a bit much. People can be a bit too “cool mum” on here. The reality is that you need to take proper and careful care of small children.

Hahahaha! I do love a comedy comment.

Funnywonder · 22/07/2025 11:35

Don’t worry OP. Your sister will learn. You can’t stop a small child from falling over from time to time, even when you’re watching them like a hawk. It happens so quickly. There doesn’t even need to be any sort of trip hazard. It just happens. In the meantime, no more babysitting for a while. Excellent. She’ll be back when she needs you. Shouldn’t be long!

echt · 22/07/2025 11:35

BodenCardiganNot · 22/07/2025 10:16

Was I really unreasonable? I am gutted that she thinks I wasnt supervising properly.

You know you weren't unreasonable. You posted to get exactly the type of replies you have got.

Oh do give over. So tiresome.

BlackeyedSusan · 22/07/2025 11:37

Fourteenandahalf · 22/07/2025 10:14

My friend is still pfb about her 8 year old.
I remember age 4 she still wasn't allowed to walk on a pavement or gravel type surface without holding an adults hand 😂

Held onto my hypermobile autistic kid for a lot longer than that. Does she have reasons to hold on? Four year olds can still be unpredictable and bolt.

Pinty · 22/07/2025 11:39

She sounds crazy.
Toddlers fall over all the time it's a normal part of development
Poor child is not going to be able to play properly if she she never in a position of possibly falling over.
You did nothing wrong