SIL furious niece cut her knee.

[Clockchair]

So I was baby sitting DN 13 months for the first time. We were playing in the garden, she has started toddling about so only walking a few steps at a time. She was playing with my DD 3 years and she's tripped and scraped her knee. Just a normal little scrape, didn't even cry and laughed her head off when we put a special princess plaster on.

Well SIL collected her and is furious. She says I should have watched her more closely as she isn't walking properly yet and this is the first time she had been injured and it was when I was watching her so maybe I shouldn't babysit again. She is also upset that I didn't ring her when it happened.

Now for me it's not a big deal so I didn't even think to ring, that being said I have a 3 year old who is permanently covered in scrapes and bruises so maybe my opinion is a bit skewed.

Was I really unreasonable? I am gutted that she thinks I wasnt supervising properly.

I definitely have PFB syndrome, and would've felt a bit sad, if my DD cut her knee at that age but I wouldn't have held it against anyone. Accidents happen and it wasn't your fault. Your sil is being very unreasonable.

I don't think you did anything wrong OP. I think when they're really young and wobbly it's a good idea to put leggings (or short leggings) on them so they're not permanently hurting their knees.

I think your SIL is being a bit daft but I'd allow her some leeway if it's her first, as it's hard seeing them first hurt themselves even when it's only minor! I'd just say sorry she scraped her knee and reassure her you were close by supervising. She will probably get less anxious in time!

My verdict on our first five years was that if we brought up our first as we had to bring up our second, life would have been much easier! But maybe we all have to learn ....

Just think of all those scraped knees billions orlf could've prevented, not to mention a&e appointments for broken bones or concussions, if only we'd all known to "watch our children more closely" 🤣

@echt
Am happy to be 'tiresome' - happy not to be a sheep and join in with the slagging off the sil.

Never offer to babysit again. She'll soon learn. Is she at nursery or a childminder? Mine used to bring an accident form home every other day! If she treats babysitters like this she will have no childcare options soon.

what a patronising post! You must be perfect .

So should I be putting in a complaint to my daughters school and sons nursery as they don’t have once adult per child to helicopter around them any time they come home with a bruise or scrape? You can’t stop kids bumping into things or tripping over, I’m 35 and still usually have a bruise somewhere from bumping into things!

😂😂 This.

Isn't it a right of passage for wobbly tots to scrape a knee or bang their head or be taken out by an older sibling 🤔

Poor child. What sort of a future does she have with a Smother? I was out climbing trees when I was six and it never did me any harm.

By 2 my DS had tripped and cut his forehead open and still have a Harry Potter style scar. He is now almost 13 and has a huge cut on his elbow, fell off his scooter, and permenantly bruised legs from footy.

OP's niece is still very young, most mums are a bit protective of their babies at that age. She'll get over it in time and realise that knocks and grazes are par for the course with children just learning to be ambulant. It's the myriad small knocks in life that endows children with resilience to weather the bigger storms. This minor injury feels like a big storm to SIL at the moment but she will learn and relax a little. Hopefully...

(My mum was very scathing about her MIL who used to shriek hysterically if the baby (my DB1) fell over. Mum used to just laugh, pick him up and dust him off. She could see him looking at the adults to see how he should react to his fall, so MIL's crying "OH NOOOOO, the baby's fallen! He's FALLEN, eeeeeee!" scuppered her own ideas of playing it down.)

Seems I’m much in a minority here, but barely walking babies should be practicing on soft carpet or grass, not on places they can scrape themselves.

OP, the question I used to ask myself if ever one of my DC was hurt on someone else’s watch was: would it have happened if I had been looking after them? And the answer was invariably “Yes”. On one occasion my DD fell over ice-skating and had to have several stitches in her chin. My sister was amazed I wasn’t cross about it, but she had been sitting watching them, which is what I would have been doing, and the accident could have equally well happened had she been skating immediately behind her. It’s all a matter of what’s reasonable - and a toddler falling over and scraping their knee is, sooner or later, pretty much inevitable.

She’s being ridiculous and will look back one day and think what a rude fool I was.

I knew a mum at a playgroup who tried to stop her DS from learning to walk because she was worried he would fall over. When he tried to cruise around and/or take a step she would force him back onto his bottom. It had to be explained to her quite a few times by other mums at the playgroup that falling over/bumping into things was totally normal and any tears would usually be short-lived. One mum told her the HV would have words with her if she continued doing this as she was trying to stop his development.
She was one of the most anxious people I’ve ever met, but how she never noticed her numerous nieces and nephews who lived near her learning to walk I’ll never know.

I have brilliant video of my youngest dc tottering between his two older siblings to encourage practising his walking. He face planted a couple of times, fell on his butt. Each time he giggled and was hoisted back up by an older sibling and set off again.

You know sil is being unreasonable. Take it on the chin and hopefully she will chill out as baby gets older

Yikes! Is your SIL going to scream at every nursery/school/afterschool club if her child gets injured?

"maybe I shouldn't babysit again."

Well that's solved the problem hasn't it. Don't babysit for her again.

A 13 month old baby who is learning to walk should be doing that on grass rather than on a surface where they could scrape themselves.

Oh dear...she needs to get a grip.
DD just turned a year old and has been walking for about a month now. She keeps falling over all the time and has quite a few bruises on her legs, both from nursery and from home. It's normal.
Doesn't help that mine loves stairs and is generally a fearless little daredevil. She climbed up our slide by herself when she was ten months old...🤦‍♀️

I can understand her being a tiny bit horrified if it was her baby's first ever injury, but being "furious" is definitely not called for. Hopefully she will soon see that this is going to happen constantly now that her child is walking, and will then apologise to you about massively overreacting.

Is she your brother's wife or your husband's sister? If husband's sister I'd ask him to have a word and tell her to stop being rude when you've done her a favour. If she is your brother's wife I'd just let it go and not offer to babysit again unless you get a real apology.

Just to be clear to posters saying she should be on a safe surface, she was on grass, she just landed a bit funny on a plastic toy and got a little scrape.

Precious FirstBorn

Ok, fair enough, thanks for clarifying.

SIL is going over the top in that case and I would certainly not be wanting to babysit for her again.

I’m with you OP, I think dc fall and learn. Obviously pick them up and a an antiseptic wipe / plaster. I do think it helps with resilience, the ability to pick yourself up and dust yourself down and carry on with your day once you hit primary school is really helpful.