To think an invite to the evening reception is not a wedding invite?

[twasale]

An old friend had been telling me that I was going to be “invited to her wedding”. Lovely, would be nice to go.

Invite arrived and it’s for the evening reception after dinner. So essentially 8pm - midnight for a boogie.

It’s about 4 hours drive from my house and on a working day. I could stay with my parents so that’s not the issue.

...they actually put some food on, not just a pay bar with some crisps.

I've never met anyone in real life who objected to the very notion of an evening invitation, I'm always baffled when anyone says they find them offensive. Absolute batshit.

CBATRTFT.

What’s the day event? Grand ceremony in Ely Cathedral followed by a wedding breakfast in a stately home? Or some crappy registry office in-and-out presided over by a bored registrar, then a dodgy buffet?

It will almost always be the latter. If so, I’d rather just go for the evening piss up and a bit of a dance.

My DH and I have an evening invite for a wedding 4 hours away in September. We have booked a hotel for the night and I’m really looking forward to it. I don’t consider it an insult, I think we get to go for the fun part, there’s less waiting around and less pressure to buy a new outfit or a big present.

I’m not a fan of evening invites. The wedding couple should cut their cloth according to their budget and have people there all day or not at all IMO. I don’t feel I have attended a wedding if I haven’t attended the actual WEDDING ceremony!

Having said that, last summer, a work colleague I was very fond of invited 6 of us colleagues to the evening do only. I was only happy to go just because I really like him. The 6 of us got an AirBnB and made a weekend of it: arrived on Friday evening for a face pack and cava/takeaway night with Netflix; hung out the next day with fish & chips for lunch; went back and got ready for the event itself, turned up at 8pm and had a nice enough time. But everyone who had been there all day was drunk and tired. Our group actually had a much lovelier time bonding together for the time preceding! You definitely feel C list arriving to a wedding if you’re evening-only but we made it into a really nice weekend for the group and the wedding was incidental in the end!

@Reliablesource so if a couple can't afford a 20k+ wedding they can't have people they love or like celebrate with them? You might feel C list with an evening invite but I don't..it's not a fact that "you do feel C list". At the heart of this is the key function of an invitation. It's an offer which you are free to turn down, not a summons or obligation. You are not "required" or "expected" to do anything. So long as the couple don't get pissy if people can't make it it's a nice thing to be invited, not an insult.

I’ve hit an age where honestly I have zero interest in the night part. I don’t really drink anymore and sitting in a room with strangers and very very loud music is a nightmare for me. I was happy to go in my youth but now it’s the part that doesn’t appeal.

I went to a wedding of a good friend, just the evening part (long story) a group of us. It was clear all the daytime guests were mostly parents and PILs friends. We didn’t realise the incredibly expensive bar was cash only, there was virtually no food. Our group wasn’t in the best of moods (many things had happened) already. We didn’t stay long. Apparently we were meant to be the ‘party’ and we had spoiled it as we didn’t dance (and no one else did). If you come in to zero atmosphere there’s nothing for evening guests to join in with.

Yes, it’s an invitation, and no, it’s not cheeky. It’s entirely up to you whether you choose to go or not. Weddings are crazy expensive and it’s not unreasonable not to invite everyone to the meal.