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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I laughed in her face when she tried speaking to me?

146 replies

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

OP posts:
carchi · 22/07/2025 21:27

nomas · 21/07/2025 19:11

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing

No one will say that! You did good. Don’t ever be sucked back in.

Totally agree that no-one with any sense or compassion would think that you need to hear her lying diatribe.

Nikki75 · 22/07/2025 21:27

You owe this piece of work nothing.
You can only keep going forwards as you have been .Be the best you you can be the best mum and surround yourself with good people.
Keep the lessons of the past with you but never look back .
Hold your head high she deserves zero from you x

Pessismistic · 22/07/2025 21:28

Hey op sorry to hear how your first year went with your dc I hope you are enjoying motherhood now. She had a lot of nerve even trying that with you did right thing she might see the laugh as ha you got what you derived bitch face. Really don’t give her anymore head space she’s an absolute vile bitch doing that to you then making everything worse by spreading lies. You technically got the last laugh you don’t need to answer to your ex and you are definitely better off without him so keep that in mind always. Hopefully you will meet a decent man who will love you and dc. Too many selfish men and women around this shit will never go away there is always going to someone cheating.

2021x · 22/07/2025 21:44

Your feelings and actions are more than reasonable- but it is crap that you feel bad about it now.

You don't have to #bekind, you don't have to hear her out. She betrayed you and you know the type of person she is.

It also doesn't matter if your kids are related. In this situation you are not family so leave it.

Enjoy the rest of your life.

T1Dmama · 22/07/2025 23:47

ThejoyofNC · 21/07/2025 19:27

It was more kind than the slap in the face she highly deserves.

She’s not even worth the sore hand!

T1Dmama · 22/07/2025 23:54

I don’t think there’s anything you could do to her that would make her feel worse than she made you feel!…. So you owe her nothing… don’t give her anymore headspace!
I don’t understand her leaving one abuser for another (known) abuser…. But it’s on her that he probably treated her like shite after they got bored of bullying you!
It would seem she got her karma and hopefully his is on the way!
Any I think she got off lightly with you laughing in her face… but I expect that hurt more than if you’d slapped her tbh!

DinosandRegrets678 · 23/07/2025 00:04

Perfect response.

Some women are evil, being pregnant doesn't change that. She's as bad as he is.

EPN · 23/07/2025 02:30

Wow.... no I think you did what any normal person would do how else do you deal with that. Do not entertain any conversation with her ever there's no reality to be found in a conversation there. Keep your head up laugh and walk the fuck away.

Waterweight · 23/07/2025 05:53

Honestly. Loved your response - fuck the pair of them they put themselves in the position they did over you & your baby & deserve nothing in return

Landlords · 23/07/2025 07:07

You don’t deserve each other.

She doesn’t deserve your niceness and you don’t deserve her awfulness.

Soberinthecity · 23/07/2025 08:15

I had my ex best friend do exactly the same thing to me (although no babies involved) and when it came down to it and she rang me years later leaving a friendly voicemail and a hope to catch up, I just didn’t respond to her, and that was perfect closure for me.

I think your response was perfect. She deserves nothing more from you; don’t let her live rent-free in your head. She will get her just desserts because karma is a bitch - and so is she.

BeNiceorBeQuiet · 23/07/2025 08:51

Some things are unforgivable, this is one of them. You owe her nothing, not even a smile!

Nettie1964 · 23/07/2025 10:10

You owe her nothing, hopefully karma will catch up with her. Stay strong.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/07/2025 10:38

I would have nothing to do with her, and I think you were right to laugh.

The levels some people will stoop to - both your ex and her - astounds me sometimes.

It’s no surprise they’ve broken up though - he’s probably done exactly the same to her as to you, because that’s who he is. No reason for you to have anything to do with either of them though.

nomas · 23/07/2025 10:43

@seasid are you coming back to your own thread?

Rootsdarling2 · 23/07/2025 11:02

Is the baby definitely not to your ex? I mean your friends child?.

It's pretty grim but I would have questions and I would want to know. I wouldn't want a friendship again no but how can one be so cruel.

I hope you've contacted CMS to get money for your child now. Does your ex see your child now?

LoveLifeBeHappy · 23/07/2025 14:24

Rootsdarling2 · 23/07/2025 11:02

Is the baby definitely not to your ex? I mean your friends child?.

It's pretty grim but I would have questions and I would want to know. I wouldn't want a friendship again no but how can one be so cruel.

I hope you've contacted CMS to get money for your child now. Does your ex see your child now?

Edited

I have a feeling both children belong to @seasid ex...

Maybe her friend is aware and wants her to know their children are half siblings?

They got pregnant around the same time, and her ex was with them both, so...

Rootsdarling2 · 23/07/2025 14:33

@lovelifebehappy its very possible! I hope thats not the case as it would be very messy and uncomfortable indeed. Id want to know though if my child had a sibling. The children involved deserve to know also!

Arctician · 23/07/2025 17:39

Go girl! Best part of your horror story is the bit where you ‘burst out laughing’ ooofftt 👏👏👏 Don’t you dare even consider that YABU. These people are dead to you. Only thing you carry bravely forward is that your DC is a legacy of a guy you once knew …. Dave Work.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 23/07/2025 22:23

This.
Good luck OP

Isittimeformynapyet · 23/07/2025 22:56

alcoholnightmare · 21/07/2025 19:04

First post nails it

🙄

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