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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I laughed in her face when she tried speaking to me?

146 replies

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

OP posts:
wizzywig · 21/07/2025 19:00

Nope. Blank the bitch. She put a shag ahead of decency. Hope she got what she deserves. She may have been carrying his baby too

GLC789 · 21/07/2025 19:02

Oh gosh.

Im so sorry for what you went through.

She does not get to smile at you. She does not get to approach you. I'd have done the same. On the inside id have wanted to punch her though.

Well done you for making your boundary clear. What a joke of a human she is to assume she can just approach you ever again. She doesnt deserve to be heard out!!

I hope yiu are living a fulfilled life now OP. Don't let the gremlins from the past dampen it if yiu are x

Didntask · 21/07/2025 19:02

Is he the father of her baby too?

alcoholnightmare · 21/07/2025 19:04

First post nails it

BreadInCaptivity · 21/07/2025 19:05

I think your response was perfect. Given what she did what could you say to her that would change what happened?

Why waste your breath and make a scene in public?

Laughing was the best way to show she’s beyond your contempt.

ninjahamster · 21/07/2025 19:09

No you didn’t do the wrong thing. I can’t believe she had the nerve to even think you would speak to her!

nomas · 21/07/2025 19:11

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing

No one will say that! You did good. Don’t ever be sucked back in.

44PumpLane · 21/07/2025 19:11

You owe her nothing, laughing in her face was totally appropriate!

At least you didn't do anything bad.

DreamingofTimbuktuagain · 21/07/2025 19:23

I admire your self restraint OP - I think I’d have had to tell her what utter scum she was and is

MauriceTheMussel · 21/07/2025 19:23

I think laughing in her face was actually rather perfect.

No anger from you. No crying. No minimising. She IS a joke.

And she didn’t just put a shag above decency. She went well beyond that with her pre-meditated behaviour.

3luckystars · 21/07/2025 19:26

What’s the question?

You have been through so much. I’m sorry they both treated you so badly. Assholes.

ThejoyofNC · 21/07/2025 19:27

It was more kind than the slap in the face she highly deserves.

youreactinglikeafunmum · 21/07/2025 19:30

Girl - my birth family treated me like shite and did the same thing to me

If I ever see them - I will laugh and walk away - thanks to you!

I've spent so long agonising over such a situation and you've solved it with this post!

You're epic - your baby is amazing - and the fact is, their evil behaviour did you a favour! Now your baby is safe from your abusive ex!

Yanbu at all, and I urge you to keep on going - you and your dc are stronger, happier and better off!

Please never let him back in. Raise your child to not need him, and when theyre 18, i bet you they'll see him and laugh as well!

Keep going supermum ❤️❤️

WilfredsPies · 21/07/2025 19:30

I think you were very dignified. I’m not sure I would have have handled it so well.

Lavenderandbrown · 21/07/2025 19:33

Well done op. My ex husbands affair partner has honked her car horn at an and waved…attempted to say hello to me at a sporting event where I was surrounded by friends and she was alone and weirdly knocked her hand on a glass wall of the attorneys office trying to catch my attention clear across the lobby. So weirdly desperate to talk to me or confront me or make me uncomfortable. I never acknowledge her she is nothing to me and really he isn’t either. He left her for another woman he actually married (and even divorced her too now) so happy these losers aren’t in my life anymore People are so audacious in their presumption you would
actually want to hear one word from her lying mouth.

DampSqib · 21/07/2025 19:35

That was very restrained all things considered.

Houndsahollering · 21/07/2025 19:37

Oh my god your response couldn’t have been more perfect if you had planned it. She deserved every cackle. Good on you.
you owe her sweet FA.

likeafishneedsabike · 21/07/2025 19:40

Houndsahollering · 21/07/2025 19:37

Oh my god your response couldn’t have been more perfect if you had planned it. She deserved every cackle. Good on you.
you owe her sweet FA.

i really hope it was a proper cackle too. Not just a little giggle.

Mxflamingnoravera · 21/07/2025 19:46

Bloody well done. I’m 25 years on from something similar and I still want to punch the smirk off her face. It takes some kind of deranged psycho to do what she did to you. A laugh was perfect, I wish I’d done that last time I saw her smirk at me. Next time I will! I’m totally with you. Keep laughing, keep being you.

MyHardySquid · 21/07/2025 19:48

Perfect response! Shows you are the better, bigger person, and laugh in the face of someone as pathetic as her, good on you :)

JMSA · 21/07/2025 19:48

Oh OP, how awful for you 💐
Of course I don’t blame you for laughing!

CsTheDay · 21/07/2025 19:52

Well done! You showed such control and strong boundaries.

itsgettingweird · 21/07/2025 19:54

Actually that was the perfect response.

Covered all bases but certainly laughing at her having audacity to even think about approaching you was the perfect response!!!!

congratulations for coming through all that a strong person Flowers

Delphiniumandlupins · 21/07/2025 19:57

Sometimes laughter is just an automatic, nervous response but actually seems perfect in this situation. Well done, she's not even worth your anger.

Italiangreyhound · 21/07/2025 19:57

Great response. Ignore and move on.