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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I laughed in her face when she tried speaking to me?

146 replies

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

OP posts:
cannynotsay · 21/07/2025 21:40

Your laugh was a trauma response! It’s ok too of done that!

BCBird · 21/07/2025 21:44

You are a better woman than me OP. Well done on being so dignified.

Laura95167 · 21/07/2025 21:48

Seems perfectly reasonable. You've nothing you need to say to her.

Also are you sure that baby wasnt also his?

SmashingCupOfChar · 21/07/2025 21:49
Ceelo Green Kool GIF

With friends like her, who needs enemies. It’s a time when you kinda wish CeeLo Green would come on the radio singing ‘Fuck You’.

You handled it well OP.

FoxAches · 21/07/2025 21:51

Laughing in her face was an absolutely BRILL reaction. Well done you!
Also, I hope that life is much better now for you and your kid.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/07/2025 21:54

I think you couldnt have had a more perfect response!!

It encapsulates "Are you fucking kidding me?!" and "Wow the brass neck on you!" and "You are a complete fucking joke" all in one.

Perfect, dignified and eloquent. Well done, I salute you Madam!

hazelowens · 21/07/2025 21:55

You did far better than I would have. You can walk away with your head held high. With friends like that who needs enemies xx

LBFseBrom · 21/07/2025 22:01

I don't blame you one bit but will say that guy must be one of those seriously persuasive types who have a way with women and convince them. I met a couple like that when I was very young and they were extremely plausible. However I don't see you and she rebuilding your friendship, too much water under the bridge for that. In years to come you may unite in solidarity with further victims but that is for the future.

Good luck to you both, and your children.

What goes around comes around and he'll get his comeuppance sooner or later. Do you know what he is doing now and with whom? This is Jeremy Kyle fodder.

Toptotoe · 21/07/2025 22:03

You did the perfect response - well done ☺️

Dery · 21/07/2025 22:03

Another here who thinks laughing at her and turning away was the perfect response. She’s horrible and ridiculous.

Cakeorchocolate · 21/07/2025 22:04

Nope not wrong at all. Don't waste any more head space and energy thinking about it.

Praying4Peace · 21/07/2025 22:05

MauriceTheMussel · 21/07/2025 19:23

I think laughing in her face was actually rather perfect.

No anger from you. No crying. No minimising. She IS a joke.

And she didn’t just put a shag above decency. She went well beyond that with her pre-meditated behaviour.

This.
Wishing you and your child peace and happiness OP

MuckFusk · 21/07/2025 22:06

You did right. She's a garbage person who did everything she could to ruin your life. She was probably jealous of you for a long time, hence her incredibly vicious behaviour.
Anybody who tells you to hear that bitch out and forgive her is an imbecile.

Goditsmemargaret · 21/07/2025 22:09

Oh wow perfect reaction, well done OP.

Viviennemary · 21/07/2025 22:09

She is totally toxic. You must not engage with this person in any way.

Dery · 21/07/2025 22:14

She betrayed and abandoned you and then was part of a vendetta against you which left you - a young mother - isolated and alone. There is no world in which she is entitled to even one second of your time and attention. Ever.

SonK · 21/07/2025 22:55

Your response, the laughing was perfect!
Leave it in the past and move on x

ButterCrackers · 21/07/2025 23:00

Laughter can be a nervous system response to fear, stress, worry and more. You did well. It was your body’s reaction to seeing this awful person try to approach you. Keep a wide berth. Do not let this person into your life because you are worth more than being friends with this loser.

lauraloulou1 · 21/07/2025 23:33

Well done for laughing! Great that you are in a position you can now!

lifeonmars100 · 22/07/2025 00:15

Well she and your ex are the spawn of Satan, I would have gone over and very coldly and politely told her what a piece of work she is. No shouting, no swearing as it is good to be able to look back and know that you kept your dignity. I appreciate that you did what was right for you when you saw her. I totally get how you feel about having your baby's early life stolen from you as that was how my cheating ex made me feel. Yours stopped even lower than mine and as for her...words fail me. It is not often that I read something that enrages me, but I felt real anger on your behalf. I hope that life is treating h you better now because you certainly deserve happiness

mediumdicketh · 22/07/2025 00:38

Yeh more the fool she is, the baby was probably his aswell which makes sense I have similar situation she's as thick as two planks of wood he can manipulate her she's weak clearly nothing lasts forever and tbf you won being single and independent and putting your child above any of that rubbish. I have 3 and I just think that I may miss out on somethings but these kids are my favourite things in the whole wide world without them I have no purpose watching them grow have fun dance smile cry everything is all that matters let these people who have disfunction all relationships be together be happier when you realise life is precious and so our are kids not some stupid man who can't keep it in his pants he will always pursue the next best thing.

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 01:29

I think laughing was the perfect response 🙂

Pieandchips999 · 22/07/2025 01:38

Look straight through her. She sounds dangerous and unable to recognise and protect from it. You don't want anyone like that round you and your child

CalicoPusscat · 22/07/2025 02:08

I started reading and rapidly changed my mind.

You are so lucky to be away from these hideous people. Laugh was natural. Sorry that they let you down when you were vulnerable.

thelakeisle · 22/07/2025 02:26

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

Perfect response. I am sorry she chose to be so abusive to you.