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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I laughed in her face when she tried speaking to me?

146 replies

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

OP posts:
Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 22/07/2025 10:02

DreamingofTimbuktuagain · 21/07/2025 19:23

I admire your self restraint OP - I think I’d have had to tell her what utter scum she was and is

Edited

I think I’d have punched her smug face. (I wouldn’t, in fact I think laughing at her has more moral impact, but grrr, I feel so angry on your behalf op.)

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/07/2025 10:06

Laughing in her face is the sort of reaction I wish I’d be able to have in such a situation, I’d probably just crumble in the moment though. Well done for pulling it off, you are amazing! I hope you are doing better now without these awful people in your life.

Suusue · 22/07/2025 14:17

Never ever ever speak to that thing EVER.

LoveLifeBeHappy · 22/07/2025 17:08

@seasid

it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own

Wait, is he the father of her child too? I think he is.

Your children are half-siblings?

LoveLifeBeHappy · 22/07/2025 17:10

Italiangreyhound · 21/07/2025 19:57

Great response. Ignore and move on.

It would be worth knowing if their children are related.

Cecemonkeylou · 22/07/2025 17:11

Nope. You handled that much better then I would have. What a b*tch she is

SleepyBadger2307 · 22/07/2025 17:32

Girl, nothing and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING would have stopped me from throwing an entire shelf of tins at that bints head.

That all you did was laugh in her face shows you are the bigger person.

Jendba · 22/07/2025 17:32

Personally I would be torn because I would want to know what she had to say.
Maybe she's a single mum now and he's off with yet another woman and she wanted to apologise or say you were right
But.........
then there's the other side of me that would tell her where to stick her apology and not give her a chance.
So well done.
You did what you needed to do and that was the right thing.

Climbinghigher · 22/07/2025 17:46

Good grief that’s horrific. Of course you don’t want to talk to her.

NikNak321 · 22/07/2025 18:08

You rose above the situation and them. Don't retaliate or engage with them. Laughing is perfect...they are not worth it. I hope your well on with your healing... don't let them get under your skin anymore. He did you a favour taking her out of your life...a poor excuse for a friend and she did you a favour distracting him away from trying to get you back and trying to be a waster of a dad. Good riddance...good luck OP...onwards and upwards 🍀❤️

JustMy2Penneth · 22/07/2025 18:13

Maybe she wanted to apologise, but considering the utterly dreadful way she treated you there are no words she could say to rectify the past really. Your reaction was an honest, instinctive one and theres no problem with that. Sometimes people apologise just to get a weight off their chest and not because it would be beneficial to the injured party - but I guess Id have been a little curious to hear what she had to say. However best let sleeping dogs lie I think.

Retiredfromearlyyears · 22/07/2025 18:18

Quite right to laugh! She's a dirty joke! Nothing more .Nothing less. Don't give her the time of day. She got your 'Sloppy seconds!' Make sure its the last she gets from you. Take care!

Happyonfriday · 22/07/2025 18:20

Absolutely correct way to deal with it (her)!
I have done the same in the past with a past friend and it was no where near circumstances like yours.

Hold your head high, know what you’ve come through and where you are now in comparison to what was your past 😊

Festivespirit85 · 22/07/2025 18:23

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

That's a very mild, polite and mature response, which sends an almighty message.Really she deserves her face kicked through the back of her head for all her and that other creature have put you through.
I hope you're starting to heal.

FreyaW · 22/07/2025 18:27

You did well to laugh. Don't give her an iota of a chance for anything...
Fk her..

Serpentstooth · 22/07/2025 18:29

I think I'd feel murderous in your place OP. Being betrayed by a partner, awful. Being betrayed by you best friend. Awful. The pair of them together? Well done for your response. A friend was in your position but not pregnant. A few years after the split she was driving in her shiny new car and spotted the bitch friend trudging along in the rain with a pushchair and a couple of small children. Pulled up at the lights, bitch friend noticed her and smiled as if in welcome. Betrayed friend did same as you, laughed, 'sorry can't give you a lift', drove off still laughing and thanking the Lord that bitch friend had finished up married to The Bastard instead of her. Karma can be kind.

ForrinMummy · 22/07/2025 19:06

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

Nobody is going to say hear her out.

I hope have you, or are well on the way to recovery.

Trishyb10 · 22/07/2025 19:09

Karma… she is slowly getting her just desserts,never look her way if you cross paths again… good things in store for you ❤️

Meg8 · 22/07/2025 19:24

OP, I'm nearly 74 and not a very bold or imaginative person when put on the spot, but I applaud you for your fantastically appropriate automatic response to this lying cow.

I have a very good friend of similar age who lives across from us when her two children were born. Her DH (now about 80) has been through six wives and produced 2 kids with each. Of course he has never paid a penny in child maintenance. My friend later married a lovely divorced man and had a wonderful life with him. She also became "the mother" of his DD and is now considered the grandma to that DDs children. Your time will come.

Mandymoogenx · 22/07/2025 19:37

Bichhh is approaching your shopping trolly in a shop, and you havent even cooked the food yet, if she wants more of your left overs, tell her to search your bin.again.

keffie12 · 22/07/2025 20:40

When I first started reading, I was like you did what! Until I read what they had done. She is lucky that all you did was laugh. I'm not so sure i would have been that restrained. You're well shut...

Spinmerightroundbaby · 22/07/2025 20:41

BreadInCaptivity · 21/07/2025 19:05

I think your response was perfect. Given what she did what could you say to her that would change what happened?

Why waste your breath and make a scene in public?

Laughing was the best way to show she’s beyond your contempt.

This. Don’t worry about the response. You didn’t do anything nasty or make a scene. It’s ridiculous that she’d try and be friendly with you again after all this time. What a cheek.

Geesgirl · 22/07/2025 20:43

I'd have kicked her in the tits.

BluntLion · 22/07/2025 20:44

That was the best response OP. She's a cheeky bitch.

99problems99 · 22/07/2025 21:07

seasid · 21/07/2025 18:57

Basically me and my friend were pregnant at the same time, we were both young mums (21) and we both were going through it together. We both left our abusive exes and it was like we didn’t care that we were going to be single mums because we had eachother. Our due dates were only 2 weeks apart.

long story short, it turned out the entire relationship my ex had been cheating on me with her. They got together during our pregnancies and he was there supporting her during pregnancy, during birth, post birth - raising her baby instead of his own. During lockdown I was there hunting in multiple shops post C-section with a newborn baby for baby milk because i had no one else to help and he was there queuing in shops for that girls newborn. Paying for her and her baby to go on holiday with him instead of paying a single penny for his own child.

Her being my friend, she knew the abuse I had endured - but she had the audacity to help him with his smear campaign against me. He was relentless and evil - ensuring everyone was turned against me. I was a single mother to a newborn, during lockdown and I had everyone sending me hate upon hate because my abuser and this girl was targeting a horrible campaign to tear me down. She would post things saying I was scum and that I didn’t deserve to have children. I was lost, broken, depressed and struggling with ppd and ptsd - my baby’s first years were stripped from me.

there’s so much more to it, but they broke up and we both now have five year olds. I saw her in Tesco a few days ago and she smiled at me and kind of motioned her body to approach me and as she went to open her mouth to say something I just burst out laughing and turned away from her. I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t do confrontation and it was better than crying. I would have full sympathy for her protecting my abuser if she wasn’t my friend who knew every detail of what he done to me. But she knew the vile horrible things and still helped him abuse me. I remember me going to her very early on in my pregnancy in tears because I could see messages on his phone from a contact ‘Dave work’ where he was telling that person that he wishes he was with her and not me, she wiped my tears away and comforted me… she was ‘Dave work’. This evil girl watched me have a mental breakdown when pregnant over something she had contributed to and lied:

i know some people might say to ‘hear her out’ or be mature and use words instead of laughing, but it’s such an awkward moment that my heart was racing and I couldn’t think straight. Was I wrong? Should I have done worse?

You absolutely did the right thing!!! I think that was quite tame. If it was me I’d probably of ripped her a new arsehole. What a horrible evil cow. If you see her again, tell her it’s best she stays out of your way. Good to hear you managed to escape both of them relationships- it might not seem like it but they deffo did you a favour! Onwards and upwards darling