Sister's wedding and no children invited

[BigSister1991]

My younger sister is getting married next year and no children (including family children) are invited to any of the wedding celebrations. We will have two children by then (aged 2.5 and 6 months). They are the only children in the family.

The wedding is 2 hours drive from our home and over 3 days - starting on Friday and ending on Sunday.

Our blood family only consists of my Mum and Sister and so I'm disappointed that my Sister would not want her nephew/niece there or want to include them in the day (and that there won't be any photos of them there). I work full time and weekends with my children are important to me and so I'm sad to have to spend 2 days away from them.

The expectation from my Mum and Sister is that me and my husband attend the wedding without our children without complaint and sort and pay for any childcare arrangements that are required.

Who said she (MOH)has to leave her children for 3 days? They can be nearby with DH while the MOH is at the wedding, MOH can pop in and out as needed....It logistically IS possible. I did it when mine were 2.5 and 6m 😂 (as bridesmaid, not MOH).

It's not the MOH day, she doesn't get to dictate that her children must attend.

Lol, there's no way I could have left my 6 month old for three days! Nor even 24 hours, DC was exclusively breastfed, wouldn't accept a bottle and even if they had, my boobs would have exploding. I'm astonished your mother thinks it's reasonable.

DH and I just left our child overnight for the first time and they're four. There's no one I could have asked at those young ages to cover three days.

I'd either go without DH (if formula feeding, and you want to, and probably only as a daytrip), or book a hotel right at the venue and tag team babysitting.

Your sister is being unreasonable making you (her sister) choose between missing her wedding or spending time away from your very young children. I can understand limiting children attending or not having plus ones especially for financial reasons, but in my opinion weddings are family affairs and I can't understand why a bride or groom wouldn't want their neices and nephews present or choose an inclusive venue.

Do you think its simply a move to exclude you from the wedding?

Fine to have a childfree wedding but you have to accept some people won't make it due to childcare issues or not wanting to leave babies.

No chance I would leave a 6 month old and 2.5 year old for 3 days. That's crazy. I expect she'll be embarrassed when she has her own baby and realises what she expected from you.

OP says Dsis expects her and DH to leave the DC for the wedding, and she says this would require her to be away from them for 2 days. She also says she's pre booked in childfree accommodation.

My brother was exactly the same when he got married . The wedding was a full weekend, 3 hour drive from home. The hotel and venue were not child friendly and he and my sil didn’t want any family children to attend.

In the end we ended up staying at a different hotel and paid for a close friend to stay for the weekend with us. The children joined in with activities the day before and after the wedding but on the day of the wedding they went out with our friend. Not much we could do otherwise, other than my dh not attend.

I fully understand why you would be upset about all of this, I was too but worked a way around it all. Hopefully you can figure something out!

?

I think you have posted this on the wrong thread.

The OP's sister and mother also expect her husband to attend, and for them to get a babysitter for the whole weekend.

Agreed, what on earth does this have to do with the topic 😂

You go husband looks after kids I don’t see the issue tbh.

Apologies I have reported to get it removed.

I think 6 months old is too tiny to leave for 3 days, you have two choices really

1. regretfully decline and say you can’t be her maid of honour

or what I personally would do

2. book an air b&b that is child friendly and get DH to look after the children there whilst you attend the ceremony. If your in laws are hands on, you could ask them if they would come away with you so that DH and you can also attend some bits together, before heading back to the children. Option 2 is probably the best if you want to keep everyone happy, it does seem a little odd she hasn’t included her nieces/nephews. We had a no children policy at our wedding apart from babies in arms, and both my siblings had child free wedding except for nieces/nephews who attended the ceremony and meal afterwards but were collected by in laws before the evening events.

OP what are you going to do?

Say no to 3 days, you can manage childcare for one day only. And then wait for her to have a baby and invite her to all kinds of unreasonable things.

Go alone and leave your husband with the kids then no expense and no guilt as they’re with their dad and you can go have fun

The bride has said that. OP has said that the clear expectation from her sister and mother is that her and her husband leave the children at home, pay for childcare, and stay in the pre-booked accommodation that doesn’t allow children.
That’s what I meant about the bride “having the wedding she wants” not really being possible here.

Her and her partner are well entitled to invite anyone they want to their wedding, and omit anyone. You can either choose to go or give it a miss.

We didn't invite children because we were struggling with infertility and wanted our wedding day to be free from a constant reminder of it. And we make no apologies for it either.

But that aside, a 3 day wedding? What?

These posts are repetitive and so boring!

What is this thing about having a wedding stretching over 3 days now? I have been invited to one in South America and the cost of the whole thing is just ridiculous. I estimate over £15K and I am not prepared to pay that for a few days in that country.

Your sister is not BU to not want kids there but she is being unreasonable to expect you to attend.

Either book child friendly accommodation for your husband and kids nearby and only you go to the wedding, staying with the kids and husband each night, or if thats not satisfactory then just say sorry you can't make it.

I wouldn't want to leave my kids for 3 days with someone.

I personally wouldn’t attend a siblings wedding if my children were not invited. I’d have no one to watch them, so I’d have to decline.

we invited nieces and nephews to our wedding as they are part of the family, we would never have excluded them.