Do you judge other women???

[Katkins17]

So, basically as above !!

I’m really self conscious …but have recently lost 6 stone in weight so feeling better about myself. However, I’ve been left with loose skin. It’s not terrible…I’m really quite lucky considering, but you won’t find me waving enthusiastically across a room for fear of knocking myself out with the old bingo wings. I could probably blow candles out just by waving with them.

so we’re due to go on holiday in a couple of weeks…previously in my size 18/20 state, I would scan the pool to see if there was anyone bigger than me or at least an equal size to feel slightly better about de-robing amongst the svelter females in their bikinis… whilst I’m in my flowing tankini.

now, at least I know I won’t be the biggest, but instead I’m fretting about my baggy arse, thighs and arms…pathetic I know, I should be cartwheeling with pride at what I’ve achieved…to hell with the flopping tits and belly !!

Am I the only one that does this, or am I totally off my head ???

Honestly yes I do. But not usually in the negative way you might expect.
For context I'm a size 14 and I don't like my tummy, bum, hips, thighs, knees, calves or ankles. I used to be a size 10 who didn't like my tummy, bum, hips, thighs, knees, calves or ankles. I think most women are insecure, needlessly so, but I can't help myself feeling the way I do no matter my size.

Anyway if I see a fat person in a bikini I think, ooh she's fatter than me and is confident enough to wear a bikini. Good for her, wish I felt the same.

If I see a person with loose skin I think good for her loosing so much weight, wonder how she did it. I bet I'm not as fat as she used to be, so I could be a size 10 again maybe.

Of course I judge other women.
I judge everybody.
But not for their appearance. That's the dullest thing about them.

I always look at others but with pride/praise.

I'm a size 18 and recently on holiday in a tankini wishing I was as confident as the lady nearby who was clearly a lot larger in a thong and tiny triangle bikini. Even DD said one day I rocked my bikini when I just wanted to hide.

I have NEVER looked negatively on another woman.

Well done on the weight loss.

Nope, don’t give it a thought.

The only people I judge are the pushy people, the loud ones (not in a fun way!), the troublemakers. I would never ever judge at a swimming pool or beach because a) I have horrific circulation and so my legs are purple and b) I’m trying to stay alive or keep the kids alive (crap at swimming!!)

I’m in a size 8 but I have a 12 inch scar on my abdomen from cancer surgery, I still wear a bikini. Edit to say I don’t judge anyone now but probably did a little bit before cancer.

I would never negatively judge you as your body clearly shows that you have worked hard to make your body healthier. I respect that.

Oh definitely not in that way.

You should be proud of your achievement and who cares about a bit of loose skin?

Yes but not like that. Character and perceived values (based on dress, behaviour, etc) are more interesting, genuine people watching not singling out someone simply for their body.

You sound like you wouldn't stand out and there's nothing strange about you to draw attention.

Enjoy your holiday.

well done on your weight loss, that’s incredible. Really amazing! I hope you enjoy your holidays.

honestly i always do a scan to see if I’m the biggest in the room / location.and if im not, I feel relieved. I hate it, but also if I’m the fattest person there I will make every effort to leave as soon as possible. I try not to eat in front of groups of people eg at work, or if I have to I will always try to lower my portion compared to everyone else so that no one can say woah that fat ugly woman should not be eating food.

when I say women who are confidently wearing clothes I would never feel able to I think oh they look good. And then think of all the reasons why I couldn’t possibly wear whatever it is (normally anything that isn’t incredibly baggy on the top half). So, I quickly revert my lens back to myself iyswim

for reference I used to be skinny, then I was plump, then I was fat fat, then plump, and now Im bang in the middle of bmi for my height, so technically ‘fine’ but all I see is fat and ugly. I would give so much to have beauty or to be slim. Or just to be able to wal around and just not really be bothered. I don’t see that will ever be possible.

For their appearance? Literally never. For their character and values? Yes. But no more than I judge men!
Go and enjoy your holiday. You’ve lost SIX stone, which is amazing for you and your health. I can’t loose six pounds 🤦‍♀️ Be proud!

I think everybody does. Most of us form opinions about other people, even strangers we pass on the street. Most of the time it isn't malicious.

I do know that those times ive gone out wearing what I thought would get me judged (but I loved anyway!) nobody has shown the slightest interest!

Yes. I judge other people, male and female, for their grammar, politics and general interestingness.

I don’t give a shiny shite what either sex looks like in a bikini/Speedos.

I judge people's behaviour a lot (making phone calls in the quiet carriage!) but tbh as far as looks go I only really compare myself negatively to others (eg she's got nice hair why doesn't my hair do what I want, or she's got great abs i really should do one sit up one day). I probably look more at women when they look good or are wearing something cool or look like they're having fun, are smiling at me, or are confident. Don't really care what people look like in general.

Everyone judges, but for different reasons. I judge bad parenting.
I never judge people on their bodies, no-one is perfect.
I am back from a sun holiday, there wasn't one person who stuck in my mind or anyone I looked at twice.
You should be very proud of yourself for all the wonderful things you do.
Congrats on your weight-loss.

Any woman remotely interested in being a sexually desirable being checks out their environment for competition

I only judge anyone if they're being annoying.

For appearance it's only ever complimentary - they've got cool sunglasses or whatever.

I've been a regular swimmer and a size 16 for 30 years. I decided many years ago that if someone else's biggest problem was the size of my arse then good for them. I had bigger problems to worry about. Most people are to concerned with themselves to notice much.

Behaviour yes, appearance no. I’m a 14 so I probably won’t be the fattest person in the pool but I will almost certainly be the palest. It’s either pale or burned red. No nice tan for me. The fake tan looks wrong on me. I daren’t do sunbeds. So pale it is.

I’m envious of women my size or larger who have a great tan, but it is what it is. I love being at the pool so I just get on with it.

I do look at other women, but only at the really good looking ones actually. I check out women whom I basically feel jealous of / wish it was me etc. The average or basically unattractive ones, I pay zero attention to.
I suppose that means I behave just like men do! :))

Not for having loose skin no! Congratulations on your weight loss! Enjoy your holiday!

FWIW, I was self conscious at my smallest and at my biggest. We definitely judge ourselves too much.

I often judge elitism, inverted sexism and cruelty towards other women.

Certainly not someone in their swimwear, whatever size they are, but especially not someone who has lost lots of weight. I know from experience how difficult that is to accomplish. Have a good time and ignore what you are worrying others are thinking; you might be wrong and they have massive internalised misogyny, which is much worse than bingowings!

Well done OP.

I judge women on their behaviour mainly. I never judge them on their weight. But certain bits related to their appearance don’t look good on them like they think they do no matter what weight they are e.g scrunch bum leggings and lip fillers.

Ok here I go:

Yes I do. I’m a 6-8 and wouldn’t be seen dead in a bikini. I had big babies and I don’t have a boob to my name. I’m skinny fat. Like I literally weigh 7st and I wobble. It’s my problem, and I don’t like to inflict my body on others.

Don’t get me wrong, I admire other women for their confidence - but I’m afraid a lot of them look absolutely horrendous in their bikinis. I do genuinely think “what the fuck?”

I expect to be abused for this post, but I also think deep down, others think it too.

I don't, I've never judged a woman for their size or body shape, I pay no attention to what body sizes are around me at the pool. I have known women to do it but that is usually women who are unhappy with their own body.

I judge women who care what anyone else looks like. Empty headed fuckwits 🙂