Do you judge other women???

[Katkins17]

So, basically as above !!

I’m really self conscious …but have recently lost 6 stone in weight so feeling better about myself. However, I’ve been left with loose skin. It’s not terrible…I’m really quite lucky considering, but you won’t find me waving enthusiastically across a room for fear of knocking myself out with the old bingo wings. I could probably blow candles out just by waving with them.

so we’re due to go on holiday in a couple of weeks…previously in my size 18/20 state, I would scan the pool to see if there was anyone bigger than me or at least an equal size to feel slightly better about de-robing amongst the svelter females in their bikinis… whilst I’m in my flowing tankini.

now, at least I know I won’t be the biggest, but instead I’m fretting about my baggy arse, thighs and arms…pathetic I know, I should be cartwheeling with pride at what I’ve achieved…to hell with the flopping tits and belly !!

Am I the only one that does this, or am I totally off my head ???

@CuddlySheepCalledBagel that is sad that you hate yourself that much.

But then I think about how shit life must be for calorie counters and bony fortysomethings who think being thin is a valuable aim and I feel bad for them.

Only joking I just think fucks sake you'll be rotting in your grave before long and you can't chill out and enjoy your body while you're in it.

@Katkins17 very few people are perfect. Even slim people will have loose skin from ageing, short legs etc. the majority of us don't look like Victoria Secret models in swimwear & tbh look at much hair & make up the models have to wear. Just enjoy, people are worrying more about themselves.

I judge...me.
I'm a size 10, have been since I was a teen and am now nearing 60. But I look at myself in shorts and vest top or swim shorts and bikini top (I won't wear bikini bottoms) and just see the sagging flesh, the wrinkles the floppiness of everything.

The only time I really notice other women is when they look fabulous...and that's all sizes... someone who can wear a sarong or can swim without her hair looking like an alligator rolled her in the mud!😆
Logically I know that no one is going to be taking much notice of me either, but I'm not logical!

Congratulations on your weight loss... :) I think a lot of us are guilty of judging ourselves far more than others so us!

@oudleI don’t hate myself at all. I’m very realistic. I’m pretty and I have great hair, and I look fantastic with clothes on, but I prefer to keep them on because as I said, I am realistic. No one needs to see my c-section wobbles.

I think there are a lot of liars on this post.

look? yes
judge? no

I notice when other women are toned and what swimwear they wear, that's the end of it.

Actually, when I see women covering up to hide something, i do feel a bit sorry for them. Keeping shorts and a tshirt of a lot of fabric to hide is sad (when shorts are non-period related) if they are only worried about others. But it's a passing thought.

@CuddlySheepCalledBagel it certainly sounds like you do. I doubt anyone cares about your CS wobbles.

I know this seems patronising but bears repeating: most people really don't care that much about other people. Everybody is too busy with their own shit.

I would say I observe peoples physiques rather than judge. There are so many shapes and sizes around the pool.
we’re all just human, my body is far from perfect.

what competition?

I am a middle-age mother, with a body to match. I am likely surrounded by beautiful late teens or 20 year old women with the perfect body.

I don't see competition when there is none, they just have a better body than mine, so what? Hope they enjoy them!

If that were true gossip magazines wouldn't have been invented.

I don't think there will be a lot of liars on this post. MN is a really anonymous site where you see the most brutal honesty.

Everybody is too busy with their own shit.

Exactly! The last two women I noticed at CP were because of a nice swimsuit & the other women was overweight but she had beautiful even skin tone that was blemish free & lightly tanned, that's a rare sight.

Insecure women think everyone else is constantly ranking. It's sad.

Agreed. I onky judge on attitude and if it stinks. Otherwise couldn’t care less.

If that were true gossip magazines wouldn't have been invented.

Is that the same thing. I think people love seeing that celebs often look & act like normal people.

I judge everyone, but not on their body size and composition. Who cares what someone looks like in a swimsuit?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve recently had surgery for metastatic cancer. I’m missing a chunk of my head, have had 63 lymph nodes removed and have a visible scar that’s probably 20cm long, plus a skin graft taken from my leg. I’m also overweight. I’m early 40s and frankly look like I’ve had some sort of horrible accident.

I swim regularly. I was in a swimsuit cold water swimming last year pretty much as soon as the stitches were out and it was safe to do so. I’ve got bigger things to focus on that what look like swimming. My body has kept me alive this far and I’m grateful for it.

@oudleI dunno, I mean I notice the wobbles on others so it’s fair to expect they’d notice on me.

I have been on too many holidays with lots of different women - HCPs included - who have been scathing about bodies, to believe that people don’t have opinions. One of my best friends is a doctor who recently underwent an abdominoplasty and breast augmentation because of her post pregnancy body. Perfectly healthy BMI, gorgeous woman - but she could not pull off her bikinis as she once did.

Of course people judge. It’s human nature to do so.

I admire anyone who is disciplined enough to lose weight, maintain a healthy figure, birth children, whatever.. but that does not mean that everyone should wear a bloody bikini.

I also think when you get to age when people you know have died or faced cancer etc you are more grateful that your body is functioning.

Yes, but where I used to judge people on appearance, I definitely judge them just on their actions these days. Old age I guess.

@CuddlySheepCalledBagel but surely you are judging other women for showing their wobbles because you dislike yours and feel you should cover yours. So why are they showing theirs when theirs are worse. As I said I think it says more about your feelings about yourself rather than others.

I used to model, perfection is pretty rare particularly post dc and as you get older. I think judgement often comes from people who are unhappy about themselves but project it onto others.

I judge people on how they treat me and other people, not what they look like. I honestly couldn’t care less what my friends look like.

I know disabled people who get called awful names so yes some do judge but I don't think it's the majority.

You can see by yourself what women wear on the beach / around the pool.

I find one-piece swimsuit very unflattering on me, and tankini a pain in the butt, they stick, take longer to dry, I am uncomfortable.

I wear bikinis, but high waisted to hide my c-sections and pregnancy left-overs. I have realised that I don't look any different with my clothes on, I am still the same shape and weight, I am fooling no one by keeping shorts or wearing layers. Not that anyone cares anyway.

As long as I don't cringe when I see photos, and look back, it's all that matters. but I also don't want to feel miserable during my holiday

I wouldn’t be thinking anything nasty about another woman’s body on holiday no. Absolutely no. If I saw loose skin I would think good for you. And mainly also good for you having the confidence to still enjoy your body and enjoy swimming and feeling the sun on your skin etc, it’s great! I do judge people for their choices, their behaviour etc, so I’m not a ‘non judgemental’ saint, but for their body? No way!