Do you judge other women???

[Katkins17]

So, basically as above !!

I’m really self conscious …but have recently lost 6 stone in weight so feeling better about myself. However, I’ve been left with loose skin. It’s not terrible…I’m really quite lucky considering, but you won’t find me waving enthusiastically across a room for fear of knocking myself out with the old bingo wings. I could probably blow candles out just by waving with them.

so we’re due to go on holiday in a couple of weeks…previously in my size 18/20 state, I would scan the pool to see if there was anyone bigger than me or at least an equal size to feel slightly better about de-robing amongst the svelter females in their bikinis… whilst I’m in my flowing tankini.

now, at least I know I won’t be the biggest, but instead I’m fretting about my baggy arse, thighs and arms…pathetic I know, I should be cartwheeling with pride at what I’ve achieved…to hell with the flopping tits and belly !!

Am I the only one that does this, or am I totally off my head ???

*good for you for clearly losing lots of weight!

But that's famous people doing interesting stuff. Who cares about a stranger by the pool?

true, and not everyone is interested in gossip magazines in the first place.

I look at other people but usually in a curious way. I admire people’s clothing or looks (like looking at their tattoos) rather than judge them. I actually think bodies are fascinating. They are all so different. I am not easily squeamish so I am not grossed out by other people’s bodies, which I think are interesting. I would object to a bad smell though.

If I see someone looking really unconfident and looking awkward I always try to send them some imaginary telepathic confidence vibes. I don’t always feel 100% confident but as I age it gets better and I care less. If I saw someone on the beach in swimwear who had loose skin I would probably find it reassuring as I also have some on my stomach and legs. I think humans like to see other humans who look like them. I would feel uncomfortable in a room full of young models as I would feel like I looked out of place, but I would be hard on myself not the other women.

I also don’t look great in a swimsuit as I don’t have big boobs and they always flatten them down into pancakes 😂 so I wear high waisted bikinis. I am in my mid 40’s and I wear what I like as I feel like soon enough I will be old and maybe I will regret not wearing the little denim shorts after all

Not in the context of weight or looks - only ever positively, eg if I meet someone and can tell that they are glowing (for whatever reason), I'll think and tell them that.

It's more to do with how they feel themselves and what goes on in their life that shows, IMO.

I judge unprofessional colleagues, shit drivers, mean girls, racists, idiots, any person who undermines women, delusional parents, entitled people...I mean, the list is long and could keep going 😂

@CuddlySheepCalledBagel I hope you are able to get some support for your body image issues.

I don’t judge at all. I’ve been a toned size 8 and an 18 in my life. I wasn’t a better or worse person at either weight. If anything I was more body conscious at a size 8.

I am not long back from a AI week in Spain where the resort was probably 80% Brits.
No one gave a fig what anyone else looked liked as far as I could see.
Most people were overweight, some very much so.
There was no 'parading nearly naked' by anyone, nor anyone sitting fully clothed - just people enjoying the sun and pool.
It was an adults only, very quiet, small resort so I think it attracts people who keep themselves to themselves during their well-earned week away.

I don’t really have any friends or family who are like this. I don’t know anyone who has had cosmetic surgery on their body. I haven’t ever been on a holiday with other people who have mocked or judged another woman. Maybe some people need new friends 😂

I wear a bikini because I want to not for anyone else’s benefit. Well maybe my DH 🫣

I think most people are too busy judging their own appearance to worry too much about what anyone else looks like.

Yes but not on their appearance. People's appearance doesn't interest or impact me.

I do judge people on their manners (screaming down a phone in a public place, not holding doors, yelling at staff, rudeness, parking illegally etc)

Let me introduce you to the concept of The Sidebar of Shame.

I think I innately compare myself negatively to other women, I always notice people I think look lovely rather than people I don’t and then feel self conscious myself. I think it’s to rebel against my mum who is the sort of woman who whispers ‘what does she look like’, ‘she looks awful’ in these situations.

Nope. Sorry to tell you but we don’t. I’ve just returned from a 3 week beach holiday. I couldn’t tell you what one single other person looked like in swimwear.

I judge poor behaviour. Not appearance.

I’m past 60 and overweight - although dieting at the moment
I admire other people’s swim wear and confidence to wear it - I stopped wearing bikinis after I gained weight and went past a size 16
2-3 years ago DD and I went on holiday and there were so many ladies bigger than me (at the time probably a size 22) who were rocking it that I went out the next day and bought a modest high waisted bikini
Ever since then I’ve carried on wearing them - hopefully one day I might be able to get in a teeny tiny version

Everyone does and I don't believe otherwise. They might not voice their judgement or write it but it's there.

I don't care enough about other people to judge them frankly. I likely wouldn't even be able to tell you what women were even wearing, bikini or not.

Someone really stunning and toned, I would register, because that's a goal, other women wouldn't register at all.

I am more interested by the men to be honest 😂

Yeah pretty much, make lots of judgments but when it comes to appearance you’re either ‘boring to look at’ or ‘interesting to look at’ and that’s it.

do you honestly the appearance of complete strangers is such a priority for other people?

Mums of young kids will be too busy to supervise the little ones, someone will be thinking about work or something they forgot, one woman will be wondering if she is having her periods, a few will be concentrating on holding their stomach..

People will be thinking about a million different things and one, and really have very little time to bother about judging their sunbed neighbour.

I wrote that I find other people’s bodies fascinating and interesting. I like art a lot so often that is about admiring textures and just enjoyment of visual images. Not that I judge them I have no desire to do that. I don’t think it’s true everyone judges, no. Some people don’t even notice or pay attention.

First of all congratulations for losing 6 stones 👏👏 secondly just be yourself and ignore what others might think of you, as everyone is struggling one way or another and who cares if few ppl judge you, they don't know you, and you won't see them after your holiday again so go and enjoy yourself and to heck with what ppl think.

No, we went recently to a very busy beach and there were many mothers my age, my size, bigger size, in nice bikini, in whole body swimsuit or like me, an old raggy tshirt and knee length leggins with holes in them ...nobody saw me because I just pulled my dress down and immediately went in the water and stayed there the whole time, lying down

what I observed is, is it tendency or not, but many young women with great big curves are absolutely not ashamed flaunting tiny bikini and don't care that they have some extra weight. Loud, proud, laughing, running, some even danced. Enjoy your life and your mobility while your body carries you

Definitely don’t judge people for the shape of their bodies. I’m not overweight myself but I know that there are many reasons why someone is overweight so shouldn’t judge.

there are some morbidly obese men that go to the same pool as me though and when they are in the water I tend not to use the pool as unless they’ve showered really well, I worry that they are unable to clean themselves properly and the likelihood is that all that funk from their body is going in the pool. Perhaps I’m not as nice as I think I am.

I wouldn’t even notice honestly. People aren’t looking at judging in general, those that are have their own insecurities and it’s about them not you. Please wear what you like whenever you like.

Do you mean notice or judge?

I definitely notice. I’m not sure I “judge” as I’d likely have to treat them different as a result but they have no bearing on my life?