Do you judge other women???

[Katkins17]

So, basically as above !!

I’m really self conscious …but have recently lost 6 stone in weight so feeling better about myself. However, I’ve been left with loose skin. It’s not terrible…I’m really quite lucky considering, but you won’t find me waving enthusiastically across a room for fear of knocking myself out with the old bingo wings. I could probably blow candles out just by waving with them.

so we’re due to go on holiday in a couple of weeks…previously in my size 18/20 state, I would scan the pool to see if there was anyone bigger than me or at least an equal size to feel slightly better about de-robing amongst the svelter females in their bikinis… whilst I’m in my flowing tankini.

now, at least I know I won’t be the biggest, but instead I’m fretting about my baggy arse, thighs and arms…pathetic I know, I should be cartwheeling with pride at what I’ve achieved…to hell with the flopping tits and belly !!

Am I the only one that does this, or am I totally off my head ???

The only people I've judged recently were two women in their twenties who were wearing those bikinis that only have a string behind, so their buttocks looked completely naked. Even then, I didn't judge them for choosing those bikinis, I judged them for wearing them and deliberately walking across the prom multiple times with a weird gait that made their bums swing, and checking to see who was admiring them. It was so obvious!
(I'll get judged here for judging them!)

But when I see larger ladies wearing (normal!) bikinis, I judge myself for not having that kind of acceptance of my own body.

I tried to remember what I usually do on holiday or at the leisure centre but honestly I don't recall thinking much about anyone at all. I guess I'm a bit curious in the sense that it's nice to see normal bodies of all shapes and sizes (as opposed to photoshopped or filtered bodies) but I can honestly say I don't really pay attention to people at the beach. It's not that big of a deal. It's like going to a cafe and there's people there. I don't really think anything about them. They're just there.

I used to be anorexic as a teen/in my 20s and I didn't go swimming for about 15 years because I was ashamed of my body. I thought I was too fat. Then I definitely paid more attention to what people looked like but it was never negative. I was always jealous of everyone for going to the beach and having a good time, and having the confidence to just be themselves. I love swimming in a big way and I am kicking myself for missing 15 years of splashing because I was too self conscious to do anything fun. I've been recovered for ages now and had DC and all, so I definitely don't look like a supermodel but I don't care anymore. I'm having a bloody swim and I love it. 😄 That's probably why I don't notice others that much because I'm too busy enjoying myself.

Sorry, I'm rambling. You'll be fine OP! You've done a great job getting healthier and I hope you get to enjoy your pool time without worrying. Spend a bit of time finding a nice swimsuit, wraps etc that you like and that make you feel nice. It might make a difference. 😊

I judge behaviour, not looks. Male or Female.

I mean there are times I look at someone and think 'why are you wearing that ?, you don't look remotely comfortable'. Being comfortable being my main precursor for happiness.
Being comfortable in your own skin is a more complex issue isn't it ? I know people who are a 6/8/10 who look to the rest of the world absolutely stunning even if they rock up in a bin liner, yet have crushing confidence issues when it comes to their body image. I also know people who are a size 24 who put on a cozzie and enjoy whatever they are doing because they don't equate their size with any sense of shame or inadeqency.

Depends. Size? No. I do not know your history or health issues. Are you clean? Are you well presented? And do you have manners? Then you are fine in my books no matter the size. If you are skinny as fuck look hot as hell in a bikini , or a fat menopausal woman, or a fat man and acting like an idiot, I judge that. I could care less about your size if you are a decent human, man or woman. Your body is just the shell. It is what is inside your heart and how you act that matters. I do not judge on looks alone.

I look, but to be honest I only really notice/admire people who who you can clearly tell work out and look incredible, I don't really pay attention to the average person , certainly don't judge people for thier appearance. Be proud of what you have achieved and go and enjoy your holiday!

Please just enjoy your holiday, no-one is bothered (I mean that nicely!) We only live once, this stuff really doesn’t matter. you should just be your confident self just enjoying it all, you’ve probably waited all year for it so why spend time feeling self conscious? Especially when everyone else is letting it all hang out. Don’t waste time feeling shit ♥️

If i saw someone with lots of loose skin in a bathing suit at the beach, i might look, think well shes probably lost lots of weight… maybe Mounjaro… good for her. And then go on with my life… i doubt anyone would spend more time criticising someone else… if they did, they are not worth your time or your energy!
congrats on the weight loss and enjoy the nicest swimsuit you can fit in! 😊

Yes but not for those reasons, firstly I’d be a hypocrite, I’ve gone from a 22 to 16 myself in the last couple of years. Women come in all shapes and sizes.

Now if you were at the pool smoking and vaping in peoples faces I’d judge, ignoring your loud children, not supervising children around water, caring more about your tan and alcohol intake rather than your kids, I’d judge, swearing and shouting with no respect for others I’d judge and yes I’d judge Botox, fillers, fake tits and little coverage.

I don't judge what people look like, what they wear, their size. I do judge people negatively who are rude, unkind, selfish, etc. that's what really matters.

I judge lip filler fake boobs etc (maybe that’s wrong) I don’t judge larger women or wobbly bodies.

You’re all wonderful!!!
And I kinda agree with you all.

when I see a larger lady running I always think ‘you go girl’ and my niece who a bigger lass wears clothes that I wouldn’t dream of wearing but damn does she carry it off with style !!!

We’re so hard on ourselves rather than celebrating our wonderfulness !!!

No I don't judge womens bodies on holiday or anywhere else. Tend to judge behaviours more.

On holiday I'm too busy having a fabulous time. Coming up is our fourth holiday abroad in 10 years - I know we are lucky for that but I really like to squeeze every last drop of joy out of it!

Have a great holiday - seriously well done on the weight loss.

I would judge other women for their attitudes and behaviour if they're rude or nasty which I think is fair enough. Their clothes being totally honest I probably would judge a bit before checking myself because obviously it's up to them what they wear and just because I wouldn't doesn't mean they shouldn't.

But their body - not at all. I think we should all strive to be a bit more neutral about bodies in general- only person who's in a position to judge is the person who's body it is and their medical professionals. Noone else's business. I think most people who judge other womens bodies in swimwear tend to have quite negative self image/ self talk and are projecting.

No one is looking at you op. They are all worrying about what they look like. Amazing achievement well done! How did you lose it? 🙌

This is so true!
So fuck it! Enjoy yourself op 👙
Do have a look at Riona O’Connor on insta in her swimwear- she’s fab!

I spend the whole time worrying what I look like even though I’m a dress size 8/10 but very wobbly and hate my thighs and bingo wings / flabby arms (totally don’t deserve anything else as I don’t do any exercise!) but I wish I had more confidence to wear a bikini etc without worrying about the squishy bits

This is what (honestly) would go through my head
“she’s got loose skin. She must have lost a shed load of weight. I wonder how much weight she’s lost. Bet she feels better for it.”

then I’ll probably start thinking about my bulbous love handles and how much I wish they weren’t there.

then I’ll think about something else

Tbh… I have absolutely no interest in being ’sexually desirable’ to anyone but my partner.
I’m 56 and revel in the fact that because i’m now a menopausal woman I’ve left all that crap behind!!!

Yes this !!

I often tell another women’s they look great. I know how it makes me feel if a complete stranger sends a random compliment, it stays with you and boosts your confidence no end. So big up to the building up our fellow females x x

Yep. I have a mum like that.

Now I’ve lost all this weight, she has to compete ( as per usual) and even though she’s in her 80’s is constantly telling me how lose her clothes are, and how much weight SHE’s lost !!!😠

Yes it’s usually a momentary fleeting thought isn’t it !!

I’ll have to remember that what other people think is absolutely none of my business !!!

I agree.
I always think ‘she’s in a bikini … why aren’t I !!!’

I judge shitty tattoos I have to say along with bad/ excessive cosmetic work. Sometimes hair.

So it’s more the cosmetic choices someone has made rather than their weight.

Not at all I’m more worried they’re judging me.

I tend to cover up on sun holidays, wearing a rash vest and swimming shorts (cycling shorts style). Nothing to do with body confidence, it just stops me from burning. I’m exhausted just thinking about the amount sunscreen I’d be constantly applying to my shoulders, back etc. I’m slightly amused that people might feel sorry for me thinking I’m ashamed of my body. Though judging by all the anti tattoo comments, maybe it’s for the best you don’t see my upper arm!