To ask for some concrete examples of ways in which the world is ‘designed for NT people’?

[MaybeND]

I think I’m missing something as I’m just not really getting this aspect of neurodivergence which people keep talking about.

I would say that our British education system (with exams that test memory retention rather than synthesis of a problem) massively disadvantages some people with ADHD who have issues with working/processing memory.

There is a difference between the type of neurodiversity. Where some autistic people find it difficult to deal with loud noise and busy places, many with adhd get a big dopamine hit from loud music and lots of people around them.
Some autistic people have great attention to detail and can code and analyse hours of cctv footage, most with ADHD can’t do that but can see the bigger picture, think out of box and find creative solutions. Thats hard for many with autism.
I do think a lot of problems start at school for those with neurodiversity. They can’t work in the way they need to and have to struggle with the education system.

I can give you one for how it’s risked my life. I dont show pain like NT people. I still fucking feel it I just can’t scream and flail about and draw attention but I can clearly state I’m in a lot of pain.

As a child I walked on a fractured ankle for over a week before teachers/parents believed it hurt bad enough for a trip to hospital. I had another fracture and my parents did believe me but again school didn’t and kept me there all day despite me saying in was in loads of pain.

Midwives would not believe I was in labour (not my first child either!) as I wasn’t acting like I was in enough pain. My son had his head out in the corridor before they fucking believed me when I said I can’t stop pushing he’s coming out I had no midwife at all until this point I was repeatedly told I wasn’t in enough pain yet it will be hours.

Finally I’ve been left with perminant damage to multiple things because multiple fucking drs would not believe I was in enough pain for the problem I had that caused it. Months I was dismissed. I left hospital and went immediately to another one where I was given a drip as incredibly dehydrated and antibiotics as was running an infection I’d been left without care and just given painkillers and anti anxiety meds when I had a serious medical problem they didn’t check for. I was telling them I have a history of not showing pain the way they expect and they still believed they knew better because I somehow don’t communicate the way they need. Even when I'm literally saying clear facts and explain you have to listen to what I say not how I act please ask questions don’t make assumptions NT people will smile nod then ignore what I’m saying because I don’t make a scene like NT people and if I do act out then they immediately attribute it to mental health or my autism when it’s fucking medical.

my children are the same. I took one to hospital for a fractured ankle and they completely dismissed me. When his carer met me there and explained he doesn’t show pain normally they x ray and see the fracture. The other one over reacts to pain so when she knocked a tooth wonky falling at school they didn’t check her over. She mopped blood off her head alone in the toilet aged 6 after being told she’s not hurt that bad stop making a fuss and they can’t take her to the nurse as they have to supervise the playground. I immediately saw the tooth out of place when I collected her and she immediately told me she had blood in her hair too. Teacher said yes dd said she was hurt but she didn’t believed it was serious as she always says her tummy hurt when there is nothing wrong. dd has anxiety and constantly moaning about tummy aches never headaches and toothaches but of course to NT teacher the tummy ache is nothing so if she says other stuff hurts that must be nothing too.

The modern world is designed to make money.

There are concessions to allow the majority to feel happier and be more productive. But even thats about money.

The world most of us inhabit is ultimately formed by the decisions of people that dont have to live and participate in it. As such, anyone who is outside of average will always be adversely affected.

I am ND, and personally I struggle with:

Attention to detail, because I have ADHD. I’m a big picture, conceptual thinker and strategist. Luckily, that’s how I make my living. I also have a stellar (according to DP, ‘creepy’) sense of direction and always know where I’m going. But I can’t put together flat pack furniture, have miserable spatial awareness and would be a terrible witness because I have no idea what any of my neighbors—or their cars—look like. I couldn’t name more than about 10 conventionally famous people and rarely retain the plot of films or books by the month after I’ve watched/read them.

Open-plan anything, but especially offices.

The timing of the working day. Thankfully, I’ve become sufficiently senior in my profession to have autonomy over my schedule because 8:00-5:00 working hours never worked for me (I’m not in the UK, 8:00-5:00 with an hour for lunch is standard). I work 10:00-6:30 with half an hour lunch and I’m much more productive.

The assumption that most people fully understand which rules are okay to break and which aren’t. I seem to be much more bothered than others when people break convention and disrupt others, like playing music aloud in public, being loud and lairy, swearing in front of children, etc or don’t care about things like rules of grammar, safe and proper driving and waiting turns.

Overly loud background music, cinema soundtracks and multiple people thinking it’s okay to talk over one another.

General ‘disorderliness’ really upsets me, too. I can’t live in or around a mess so people littering, behaving like animals in public toilets or being antisocial tends to cause me greater distress than others.