If you are married to an orthopaedic surgeon (not private practice), how well off do you feel as a family, if you don’t work yourself?

[Yunall]

Just wondering as DP is a surgeon (just made consultant). He doesn’t do private work and I would say we have a nice lifestyle but only because my income tops it up. I’m used to a lot of luxury and had a privileged upbringing (don’t mean to sound like a dick I’m just stating a fact) and I wonder if we had kids if I would actually have to continue working to have a decent lifestyle. Not something I talk much to DP about as he came from a less well off background and understandably I would come across ungrateful!!!

Same 🤣

My DD uses a private orthopaedic surgeon and he always seems busy. In fact he’s towards the end of his career and I don’t think he does any NHS work now

I know several orthopaedic surgeons and they have all left their first wives after multiple affairs, so I wouldn't plan on being married to him forever.
However, on the plus side, once they went private their salaries went stratospheric. Serious amounts of money. US orthopods are the highest paid doctors, or used to be.
I couldn't bear to live with those egos but plenty of women seem to think they are great.

Don't want to sound rude but you both earn way more than a registered nurse earns - not even half of your 80! Most likely many on here earn even less than that! I don't grudge consultants their pay as they have a huge responsibility for patients well being and lives but there's a huge discrepancy between those that have decent wages and those that don't! By all means go part time or something but please don't moan that you have 190k as an income.

The fact he is a surgeon is irrelevant.
You could have said 'My DH earns £110K and I earn £80K- can I afford to give up work if we have kids?'

How much is your mortgage?
Just do the maths. Your outgoings.

You see, my son is not a surgeon but he earns more than your H. His wife is roughly on your salary. Because of the cost of housing, they will both need to work if they have a child.

Mine earns 120k but has just gone part time so is now on about 90k. I earn much less, 45k and work full time.

we have one child at private school and only about 40k left on our mortgage.

We couldn’t survive just on his salary no. But then take private school out of the equation and we could. So you make your choices really don’t you?

It also depends how many kids you want, how big your mortgage is, what kind of car you want, holidays etc. But if you’re used to a nice lifestyle then no, I don’t think you’ll get it just based on his salary.

I get what you mean though, I don’t want to work either! My plan is to get child through senior school and then stop, or massively cut back.

If you don't want to work then you'll have to manage on just the 110k salary. It will be tough, but you can do it OP. Good luck 🙄

Why wouldn't you want to work? Maybe you just need a more enjoyable job?

Our combined salary is slightly more than his (DH 90k and me working very part time at 25k), we have two pre school aged kids. We have a nice live, largish house, a few moderate holidays a year, decent savings and no money worries. BUT we live in Scotland in an area where housing is substantially cheaper than pretty much anywhere in England eg our mortgage is £1100 pm for a 4 bed detached period property with large garden. We don’t plan to go private with schooling as we would have a pretty large drop in lifestyle. We don’t live a lavish life, no flash cars or 1st class holidays here. So it’s perfectly doable to have a nice lifes on your DH salary but it very must depends on what youre looking for.

Junior doctors may not earn enough, but orthopaedic consultant surgeons earn a LOT. Going private is like owning a money printing machine. Easily breaching £1m a year.
There are plenty of old people paying £20k for a new hip, knee, or all four.

Yeh it’s a niche question but salary goes up every year for 5 years post qualification and then at a slower rate after that and ortho has a tonne of private possibilities. I’m gonna say you’ll be OK.

https://www.pulsejobs.com/news/nhs-consultant-pay-scale-in-england/amp/

My DH is a fairly new consultant. Not an orthopedic surgeon but NHS consultants have a fixed payscale so will likely earn a similar amount.

Worth saying that my DH does not do private work but earns a considerable amount extra per month by picking up extra shifts due to gaps in the rota (ie because there are not enough doctors) I assume this is possible at most hospitals and specialities as there are shortages all round.

I earn £70k. We have a comfortable lifestyle (Yorkshire based) but wouldn't describe is as luxury. Could just about afford private school but would have to cut down on holidays etc. We do have a fairly large mortage though, and nursery fees

Depends on where you live, but I’m a consultant in London (not orthopaedic but NHS pay scales are the same regardless of specialty). I work 12PAs and we could would be absolutely skint after mortgage and bills if DH didn’t work.

A single consultant salary does not give you a “privileged” lifestyle anywhere in the southeast, and hasn’t for many decades. Partly due to pay erosion (we are paid 25% less in real terms than in 2010), but mostly due to cost of living/rising property prices.

Not meaning to sound rude but is there much call for private orthopedic work?

LOL half the elderly in the country are paying for private hip replacements as the NHS wait is too long.

In fact I only know people who have paid because otherwise they'd wait for years, in pain.

This thread is hilarious.

I particularly liked this:

We are comfortable but do not have Netflix, take-aways and foreign holidays.

I'm guessing that because we can afford the £50-odd that Netflix and a takeaway costs that makes me better off than this person, even though neither of us really go on foreign holidays?!

Not sure I see the problem with OP exploring options to aid decision making. Also nothing wrong with being a sahm if that's what she wants. Not what I've done, but personally don't see the problem. Each family make the choices that work for them....

I imagine being married to a surgeon (like many jobs) even if they don't earn millions will mean the brunt of childcare and household admin will pretty full and in this case sounds likevthat will be likely to fall to the OP. I think it's very difficult to have two full on careers without a lot of external help - nannies etc - so see why might make sense to have one parent stay at home (or work more flexible hours!)

My husband is not a surgeon but earns similarly. I still have to work and we wouldn’t have what you would consider a luxury lifestyle - state schools, second hand car etc. Of course, we’re very grateful but wouldn’t say we could afford ski trips or private education. This is probably all to do with having a house nearly identical to my parents’, except theirs cost £30k whereas ours cost £800k.

Well 200k to one salary of 110k will mean a drop in lifestyle particularly when you introduce dc. But you could go p/t

This thread is mind-boggling. People saying that £180k combined is “not an enormous” income, and suggesting they wouldn’t want to live off with £100k with kids…

I think 180k is a good income, most won't have more than that but 100k with dc isn't that much. It's largely because of house prices, if you are older with a small mortgage it will go a lot further.

Where I live a combined income of this only covers a mortgage on a small (90 sq m) 3 bed terrace, one child in nursery and moderate living expenses (but not holidays). You can live on it but not the sort of lifestyle people would have expected on this income in the past eg even accounting for inflation my parents earn’t less but had a higher standard of living. The take home income of one person with this salary will be less but might still be better off without the nursery fees if the other parent is a SAHP. Obviously should be much easier once kids are out of nursery as we won’t be considering private schools.

Well my husband is a consultant (not doctor) we have one child and I work almost full time too. Our total income is appox £180k so very comfortable but not private jets / diamonds lifestyle.

Your question about lifestyle and children isn't really relevant though. Obviously children cost money and your lifestyle will change but the benefits of having children are not quantifiable.

My husband noticed a Dr, works in tech. Would be on more than Doctors, not a flex, just a fact! I am currently on a leave of absence for a year. Have 2 kids. Eldest starting private school in Sept. We have had a lovely time up til now, able to go on several holidays a year etc but I think that will change now with private school fees 😭 but we made this choice. We will still get a holiday just not the long haul fancy ones! For what it's worth, I am loving being at home and my husband really loves it! It takes a huge amount of pressure off him but I do everything with the children. All school stuff, extra curricular activities, medical appointments (they both have different conditions so they do attend various clinics more than most children). I think its do able but you may need to cut back on some luxuries (but not all!)

You can give up your 4kplus per month post tax income and live off your dh if you both agree to live in tiny property if you in south east .... have no children... etc etc
Unless the other part is how you inherited or were given a 5 bed lovely house?
Or you live in northeast ?

@Yunall if you want a luxurious lifestyle without working, may I gently suggest you raise your sights and find a better and more lucrative life partner.

In all seriousness, DH was piss poor when we met, admittedly with prospects despite his wc upbringing. I, on the other hand was brought up in luxury and had privilege. When we met, when I was 29, I also had a great career and bought my own house in London, with my own money. I was therefore able to marry someone I loved very much and had put enough equity behind us for me to be able to give up work when the dc were small.

DH's success after marriage was vicarious and wasn't why I married him.

I think you seriously need to catch onto yourself and deicide whether your do, who sounds principled, deserves you.

Only on MN would an 80k salary be described as a "top up"

Having never met an orthopod without a god conplex I'd not be rushing to relinquish my financial independence OP.