Paying off a child's drug debt

[freepath01]

I have a son who is 17 and I recently discovered that he owes €850 to a dealer.

It all started when he was prescribed ADHD meds a year ago. He was taking dexamphetamine prescribed by a psychiatrist . Unfortunately for him, he liked the effects and it became gateway drug to other illegal/pharmaceutical drugs.

He told us that he felt he was old enough to manage his medicine and we trusted him to take it/manage it himself. In reality, he was actually selling most or all of the pills in school in exchange for money to buy vapes, cannabis, and alcohol.

Myself and my husband were none the wiser until two weeks ago when I was buying something on a local website for selling used stuff and noticed that a user near our area had sold a Curry's gift card and an Apple watch which were the exact same gifts that we had given him for his birthday. I confronted him about this and he confessed to selling the gifts and his medications for drugs.

I wish I could say that's the worst of it but he also admitted that he lost some drugs given to him to sell. He goes to a youth group on the weekends and there was a sketchy lad the same age as him who handed him unused pills of morphine and oxycodone after his grandfather died from cancer to sell to other students/anyone he knew. He lost the pills while walking home. There were 100s of pills in a bag which were worth probably close to €1,000.

The lad told him very bluntly that if he didn't get the money or pill backs, he'd have to pay it back or else. What should I do? Should we pay or go to the police? My husband says we shouldn't pay and shop him to the police but my son says that this lad he knows is friends with some scumbag teenagers who would be the type to be involved in hardcore drug dealing/joyriding and might hurt him or our house if we reported it.

Ex-junkie here, you cannot believe a single word he says.

My parents bailed me out a few times, more fool them.

Have to agree I'm afraid.

Bollocks did he lose them.

Call police. You're doing him a favour in the long term.

Lost the pills, my arse.

He’s a liar, they all are.

Call the police and watch your house be targeted forevermore. Tyres slashed on your car, bricks through the window, fires started etc. Don’t consider the police.

That is an awful situation. I wouldn't tell the police as that can end your son (and your family) in a huge amount of trouble but I understand you don't want to pay the money. What does your son think is the best course of action? Do you have the money available to pay it and make him pay you back in installments? He did a really stupid thing is taking the drugs and getting himself involved with potentially dangerous people. If he doesn't pay them back they may force him to work for them which will get him even more involved with them and others. I'm really sorry to hear this has happened. Is he remorseful about it? Do you think he'll do something like this again or has this ade it real and given him a scare?

He didn’t lose them.
he spent the money.

If it was my son I think I’d pay the dealer.

I doubt he that much debt. He maybe involved in countylines.

What would happen if you didn’t pay and didn’t tell police?

Call the police..sit him down and say right we will do it together . Obviously the non emergency number.
See if he sticks to the story . As I bet he is just trying to get money out of you.
He needs help. You are better using that money to get him in to rehab.

The first post nails it. My eldest nephew did similar and we had a few years of chaos resulting in him ending up in prison.

I’m pleased to say he’s now in his 30s and has absolutely turned his life around.

However, he will very likely be lying to you. I wonder if our family had realised that sooner and stopped the bail outs, the support etc, whether we would have got through it all quicker. Who knows.

In the end we had to step aside and let him hit rock bottom to find his way out.

You’ll be paying dealers for ever.
I know a wealthy woman who spent all her savings and ended up on pay day loans paying for her ds’s drug habit.
Unfortunately you have to throw your ds to the wolves because only he can stop this mess.

Her son will get the doing of his life and they’ll come to his house and take what they want to repay themselves.

This is a classic debt bondage technique that dealers use when exploiting young people. I’d ask to have a really frank chat where he can let you know how big this problem really is. Then decide what to do about it.

I would encourage him to talk to the police. They are not interested in criminalising youngsters, they want the people at the top. They can provide protection and even relocation.

Our neighbourhood police team are fantastic.

Call the police. He still has a chance to get back on track as he’s still under 18, but after his next birthday things will change dramatically. After that the police will charge him if he comes under their radar for drugs. Just now, as he’s legally still a child, they will try to help him.

Your son although not entirely innocent, is vulnerable and being taken advantage of. You need to nip this in the bud, now.

PS watch one of the latest episodes of 24 Hours in Police Custody on demand on channel 4, I think it called the lost boys, or something similar.

He wants that money to fuel his addiction. Next month he will need some for something else. I very much doubt he has lost anything.
He needs help but not monetary.

He really didn't lose them, you can't be that naive!
I wouldn't pay, he has to work out how to deal with the consequences of his actions.

This is confusing. Is the person he owes money to a drug dealer - or someone passing on his grandad’s pills. You say both things.

Also, yes to County Lines. Creating a ‘drug debt’ is one of the key ways they operate. Often they give you drugs to sell and arrange for you to be mugged of them on way home. Then you’re in their debt

Link. I've got a lot of experience with county lines from the wrong side of the tracks, it's a very good documentary.

I'd pay one final time but I'd be kicking him out the house as I wouldn't want county lines types at my door or even knowing where I live. Easy for me to say though OP he's not my son. Dreadful situation x

He didn’t lose them I guarantee you.
And paying this ‘debt’ off will nowhere near be the end of it.

You have a long road ahead but the only thing that can stop this is him. When he’s ready. Nothing else.

Do support him but whatever you don’t enable him. That means not giving him money ever no matter how much he convinces you it’s necessary. And don’t believe a word he says while he is in the grip of an addiction.

The lad told him very bluntly that if he didn't get the money or pill backs, he'd have to pay it back or else. What should I do? Should we pay or go to the police? My husband says we shouldn't pay and shop him to the police but my son says that this lad he knows is friends with some scumbag teenagers who would be the type to be involved in hardcore drug dealing/joyriding and might hurt him or our house if we reported it.

Your son IS a scumbag teenager. He's a drug dealer.

Bloody hell, don't listen to anyone about the police.

It’s not a criminal record your son needs to worry about. It’s your car “bursting into flames” one night, dog shit through the letter box, broken windows, spray paint, people hanging about outside to intimidate you, burglary, abuse in the street. Court appearances, too, where he gets to face 10c the consequences if he testifies against them.

Your boy has signed the whole family up for this. These people do not fuck about. Jail one of them, fine, but they have 50 family members behind them. And long gone are the days of policemen having chats with impressionable teenagers while snaring the crime lords. It’s naive as anything to think otherwise. The cops don’t care about low level junkies (which is exactly how they’ll see your son). They use them for the testimony only. Nobody is relocating your family or providing any protection. Don’t speak to them.

He'll be lying through his teeth. If you pay the dealer or give him the money you'll be doing it for ever. He needs to be accessing help from your local drug services.