Paying off a child's drug debt

[freepath01]

I have a son who is 17 and I recently discovered that he owes €850 to a dealer.

It all started when he was prescribed ADHD meds a year ago. He was taking dexamphetamine prescribed by a psychiatrist . Unfortunately for him, he liked the effects and it became gateway drug to other illegal/pharmaceutical drugs.

He told us that he felt he was old enough to manage his medicine and we trusted him to take it/manage it himself. In reality, he was actually selling most or all of the pills in school in exchange for money to buy vapes, cannabis, and alcohol.

Myself and my husband were none the wiser until two weeks ago when I was buying something on a local website for selling used stuff and noticed that a user near our area had sold a Curry's gift card and an Apple watch which were the exact same gifts that we had given him for his birthday. I confronted him about this and he confessed to selling the gifts and his medications for drugs.

I wish I could say that's the worst of it but he also admitted that he lost some drugs given to him to sell. He goes to a youth group on the weekends and there was a sketchy lad the same age as him who handed him unused pills of morphine and oxycodone after his grandfather died from cancer to sell to other students/anyone he knew. He lost the pills while walking home. There were 100s of pills in a bag which were worth probably close to €1,000.

The lad told him very bluntly that if he didn't get the money or pill backs, he'd have to pay it back or else. What should I do? Should we pay or go to the police? My husband says we shouldn't pay and shop him to the police but my son says that this lad he knows is friends with some scumbag teenagers who would be the type to be involved in hardcore drug dealing/joyriding and might hurt him or our house if we reported it.

Pay. Then go to a drug charity to get ds support. Cut him off from those preying on him. Fully. No ifs, no buts.

If you go to the police, your ds will likely be convicted of dealing and could have a hefty spell in jail, wich js highly unlikely to help him!

Do not go anywhere near the police.

He's full of shite saying he lost it but I think you know that.

I'd pay it this once on the condition he gets a job and pays it back. Next time he's on his own. Make it clear nothing comes to your home

No 17 year old in possession of no drugs is going for a "hefty spell in jail", behave!

He didnt lose the pills.

But i suspect you know that

This. 100% this.

Completely agree with this. Before my diagnosis I dabbled a bit when I was younger and speed/coke etc gave me what I could only describe as inner peace, totally calmed me down and chilled me out. It’s easy to understand why people with ADHD or any ND are more likely to end up with an addiction.

Bollocks did your son 'lose' the pills. Your son is selling drugs, as well as taking drugs. Addicts lie through their teeth. He needs professional help to get clean. It's entirely possible he's involved in 'county lines' too. He's selling possessions to buy drugs, your son has a serious habit. He wants the money, that you are offering to pay his 'debt' off. Then suddenly, the debt will be more, than he thought, so he'll get yet more money from you. Unfortunately, the first post says it all, you can't believe a word he's telling you.

So why do you pick up the next box if you already have plenty in stock? Speak to your GP/ pharmacist. Either arrange to skip a months supply, return it to the pharmacist , or don’t collect it..

Your son is committing a criminal offence by ‘holding’ drugs to be sold on. It’s possession with intent to supply. Even where they have knowledge that it’s going to be supplied by someone else. It’s a bit difficult for the police to turn a blind eye to admission to a serious offence like that.

Also it’s extremely unlikely he’s lost £1000 worth of pills. That’s quite a leap of carelessness.

He goes to a youth group on the weekends and there was a sketchy lad the same age as him who handed him unused pills of morphine and oxycodone after his grandfather died from cancer to sell to other students/anyone he knew. He lost the pills while walking home.

How exactly did he lose them?? Have you asked him this. This story is so sketchy. Why would someone hand over £1k worth of drugs to someone he barely knows, to sell on? It makes absolutely no sense. People in the drug business will very rarely hand over drugs for free. It simply does not happen. Perhaps it did in the 60s when everyone was nice and trusting but not now. The usual thing would be to buy it cheaper in bulk, for example buy the lot for £500. Then the next person who is doing all the hard work of sales to individuals will sell it for a bit more per person so they end up with £750 (or whatever mark up they can get). I think you need to dig into this story a bit more as right now it seems totally implausible

I didn't. I already clarified this ages ago. Another one jumping in without reading my response to the previous poster.

Unlike my mother who gets her meds delivered automatically every month, I only pick up mine as required. But I could have accumulated meds . Many people like my mother actually do.

People in the drug business will very rarely hand over drugs for free. It simply does not happen.

This is exactly how it happens, especially with young kids who are just getting into the game. Where do you think poverty-stricken council estate kids are getting down payments from?

Drugs are given 'on tick' (basically credit). You sell them, pay back what you owe and what's left is yours. Then you get more.

It's how they exert influence - you're instantly in debt to someone you're terrified of from day one.

Regardless, OP says that's not the case here. The drugs haven't come from a gang, they belonged to a dodgy kid's relative. Or so the story goes...

I totally agree with this. Where I lived previously, I had a repeat prescription for a controlled drug, which was a 'top up' for when the pain got unbearable, and the other C.D's weren't cutting it. Some months I would use more than others of the 'top up' drug, and wouldn't always order it when putting in my request for a repeat prescription, but nevertheless the pharmacy always sent them, in spite of me ringing on several occasions to explain that I didn't need them every time. Hence, I have a stock pile, which I am now slowly working my way through, because in our new area, the pharmacy are a lot more on the ball.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. It is tragic to think there are such evil people around dragging our young people down. I have family experience of this. They are leeches and stop at nothing.

If you return drugs to the pharmacy they will be destroyed, so it's just as bad as collecting and not needing/using them

Has he told you the ADHD story to get sympathy? ADHD meds don’t make you high and loads of research proves that they are not addictive and not a “gateway drug” if taken as prescribed. ADHDers however are much more likely to both take drugs and get involved in criminal activity.

I didn’t want to leave this opinion out there as it may put parents off treating their child’s ADHD despite all the evidence showing that treating adhd improves numerous negative health and other outcomes associated with adhd and does not lead to drug abuse. Most psychiatrists are, for example, happy to prescribe ADHD meds to people who were previously addicts as being properly medicated for adhd reduces the risk of addiction relapse.

https://bedslutonchildrenshealth.nhs.uk/neurodiversity-support/adhd-attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/medication-for-adhd-attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/#:~:text=There%20have%20been%20various%20studies,medications%20will%20do%20for%20them.

https://www.understood.org/en/articles/study-adhd-medication-appears-to-reduce-the-risk-of-drug-abuse

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10498662/#:~:text=This%20leads%20to%20poorer%20outcomes,rates%20of%20psychiatric%20conditions%20(C.

I would payout as a last time.
It's extremely difficult. There was an episode on C4 24hrs in police custody, young lads dealing, the parents being threatened.

Terrifying business.

A young local lad hung himself, age 14 over a 500 drug debt, last year, tragic.

I don't believe his tale of losing walking home etc, doubt they were grandparents either, he got them on tick to sell and took them.

Helpful to state the bleeding obvious.

Not.

For goodness sake stop supporting this nonsense. Your ds is a drug dealer and addict, and you need to deal with that head on. Stop indulging him. Don't pay the debt. Once you start that, you will be paying them for life.

Call the police, hand over all the information, then get your ds on to a rehab program.

Lock away anything of value in your house because he will steal from you. Don't give him any money at all. Ensure you have adequate protection at home - cctv etc. It's going to be tough, but the sooner you start, the more chance there is it will work.

You may have updated by now but I would need to know how he lost them & how they were verified before i'd pay & yes To the calling the police, I'm surprised how many people here are telling you not to call them before you pay & tell them what's happening so they can "confiscate" the money back ...

No! Do not call the police on your son!

He will get done for dealing, have a criminal record and possibly a custodial sentence.

The criminal record will harm his life chances.

A prison sentence or stint in a juvenile facility will potentially change him as a person and not for the better. Bullying is rife, especially in juvenile facilities.

It will introduce him to a network proper criminals and he may end up on much worse drugs. Drugs are available inside prisons.

When he comes out, he will be an ex con and it will mark him for life.

I'm not saying you shouldn't act, but once you report him to the police, you can't undo it and it has the potential to cause him significant harm. Those who think the police will help are naive IMO.

It's not a case of report him to the police and they will help him get the help he needs. It doesn't work like that.

He does need help. Try to get him that help without involving the police. Putting him into the criminal justice system will give him more problems to deal with.

I would be tempted to payout just the once, on a whole load of conditions.

He needs to break off all contact with these people. He could be lying, or the threats of harm if he doesn't pay could be legit.

I wouldn't want to risk him, or the rest of the family come to serious harm from the people he owes money to.

But in order to bail him out, things would need to change significantly, so this doesn't just happen again.

This was my initial reaction. There was a recent 24 Hours in Police Custody, which was a real eye opener for me. This is the kind of tactic they use to draw kids in, and that's the reason I'd probably report to police in order to protect him. I don't know if this is likely or not, but definitely something to consider.

Also, this. The mention of gateway drug made me wince. Op's son may well have already tried vaping and more by virtue that he has adhd, as opposed to access to adhd medication. As a parent to a 14yo with adhd I know how switched on to potential addiction problems (vaping, alcohol etc) you have to be. Sadly, dh (who also has adhd but was never diagnosed when young) has self medicated with alcohol so much during his life and he's only now understanding himself more and on top of things.

What do people think the police are going to do? If these pills did exist and its not just bullshit to get more money for drugs. Are the police going to go round tell off the person who gave them to him to sell? then that person will be so scared of the police they will leave the son alone? Or will it make the situation worse because nobody likes a grass and she will have thrown her son under the bus for being a drug dealer himself as well as getting him a good kick in at best? These ratty little teenagers will be working for bigger and nastier people.
Dealing with people who are deep into taking drugs is hard they lie and lie and steal and then lie some more. Unless he wants to get out of that scene no intervention from you is going to help, unfortunately he will tell you he is done, wants to change etc and you're not actually going to know if its true.