To feel like this IS actually a decent safety net?

[Hetplane]

I am feeling a bit crushed and flat after originally being overjoyed that I had been gifted what I thought was a decent safety net. More than decent actually.

I recently was gifted 120k from a family member. I’m 37 and have 200k left on my mortgage.

This gift came out of nowhere, I wasn’t expecting it and it’s absolutely blown me away as I never ever could have imagined this sort of safety net.

DB has received the same amount and has totally downplayed it. He is significantly more wealthy than me and whilst he has been grateful he has also referred to this as ‘running costs pot’ and told me I might be able to pay off some of my debt now (I have 10k debt and still my mortgage). This was not said nicely, it’s totally demeaned the money and made me feel stressed again about finances. I always try and save 300 a month but it’s hard (I’m single). He calls the gifts pocket money.

I am not sure why I am posting really. I suppose im wondering if I’m actually a bit deluded that in 2025 this is still a lot of money? I don’t have a hope of ever saving this myself and I feel a bit flat that it seems pocket money to most people!! I wanted to go down to four days a week at work now I have this but his comments have spooked me a bit.

So many people look down on part time as foolish.

To some people time to pursue other things is worth more than that's days lost income.

And what about what's round the corner??? I'd rather have had a day to do what I like when I was young and healthy than wait till I was old. And if what's around the corner for you is illness and disability then it's seems wiser to have spent that time when you were younger.

Many people time does not mean expensive travel and hobbies. Many things that people enjoy do not cost money and maybe the op falls into this group.

Also it depends on her lifestyle choices, she could easily pay down the mortgage but keep on spending the current mortgage amount to save on both the term and the interest but keep aside some as a nest egg whilst paying off the debt.

For instance, pay off the 10k debt, keep a 10k nest egg (in good interest bearing account) and pay 100k off the mortgage. Then the current £300 per month that she saves could fund her part time. It depends on what is more important to her, having bigger savings or more time/less work.

Depends on how much you need to feel secure. We are lucky to be mortgage free with healthy savings but with life uncertainties and a child coming at our age, I am working as hard as I can to save while I can. As a woman in my industry at my age, this might be as good as it gets. Let's face it, ageism does exist and most of us won't be at career peak in our 50s or 60s. 30s and 40s are when I feel we need to work the hardest and get the most income.

Exactly. I mean, it depends on your outlook. If you want to have all the adventures when you're young and put the bare minimum away for when you're retired then you'd better hope for a big inheritance or a lottery win because relying on only the state pension means your retirement is going to be fairly unpleasant. I can't imagine that sitting in a cold house not being able to afford to go out for lunch never mind on holiday is compensated by reminiscing over your youthful adventures.

However you would have lost 6 years' worth of pension input so your pension would be reduced when you DO get to pension age.

There's also the 'disabled overnight' thing that many don't take into account (I didn't really) I thought I had another 12 years working, now I'm not sure I will be able to work again (and certainly not in my previous career) but as I have some savings I don't qualify for any benefits, so another 12 years I have to support myself with NO or very little wages🤬. I wish I'd put more away. Fortunately I was able to access the savings I had to not have to panic (about money anyway) when it happened unlike if I had put it all to the mortgage (as people keep advising the OP) cash you can get your hands on immediately is invaluable.

Well, that’s what I get for not reading the post closely enough! 😧

Although, to be fair, I do get confused by all these initials… I can’t see SS without thinking of Hitler’s SS, for example, or DSS without the Dept. Of Social Security coming to mind. 😫

🤣🤣Hang around long enough & we'll get you trained up!!

I have the opposite problem, I have to remember not to use DH etc in WhatsApp messages!!

You can only work out what safety net you need taking into account your monthly outgoings.
You can only say whether it’s "worth" going part-time knowing whether working full-time incurs any extra expenses such as wraparound care. OP also hasn’t said whether this would be a permanent reduction or a year or two.

I would be hugely grateful for the money but it's by no means life changing.

Most people in their 30s (that I know) have £50k plus of student debt and need the rest as a deposit for a home. Once you've paid for those two things it's gone so it's foolish to think you can drop a day at work

Your brother is grandstanding because he… married a rich woman!!! What an arsehole.
Whoever left it to you would have know it was life-changing for you. Whatever happens next, know £120k is life-changing for most of us.
It would certainly change my life!

Ask ur brother if it like be pocket
money if his rich wife suddenly divorced him. Pretentious twat. Add some of your money to your pension, pay your 10k debt right off then take a break or lower your hours. Enjoy your new cash it’s what it is there for. And don’t tell your bro anything what u have done.

well not everyone has student debt & I think paying it off out of this gift wouldn't be the best use if it.

but even if someone did it your way, how is being given a house deposit not life changing?

Paying off a student debt of £50k that over term will cost £92k even on a decent salary is most certainly a good use of any inheritance.....

I suppose the rest could go into a tracker fund that could yield enough for a house deposit within 8 years

You're the one that said 'house deposit'. £70k is enough for anyone to put as a deposit for their first home. No one needs to buy a more expensive home for their first one.

nut it's all 'off thread' as the OP already has a mortgage & has mentioned a student loan.