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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend should have told me her toilet seat was broken?

279 replies

AnimalLover24 · 19/07/2025 09:18

A bit of an unusual one - I visited my friends house yesterday for a coffee and a catch up which we arranged a week or so ago. After an half an hour or so I said I would pop to use the loo and she casually told me ‘oh - the toilet seat broke the other day so there isn’t one on there’.

As a slightly larger lady, ‘hovering’ as she suggested isn’t exactly straight forward.

Do you think she should have told me about this ahead of time?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnimalLover24 · 19/07/2025 09:58

Shessweetbutapsycho · 19/07/2025 09:56

Agreed, perhaps take this as your sign to start improving your strength… old age is not going to be a fun time for you if you are unable to support your own body weight for a few moments

Show quote history

Yes I am making efforts thank you, no need to body shame me.

OP posts:
LaMarschallin · 19/07/2025 09:58

@AnimalLover24

No I wouldn’t have cancelled, but I could have ‘made arrangements’ prior to the visit.

But why couldn't you sit on the bowl of the toilet? It will have exactly the same germs as the seat would have.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 19/07/2025 09:58

Top tip...

'Aways carry a 'Shewee' and a Poop Scoop'

For just this sort of dilemma.

Newmumburnout · 19/07/2025 09:59

LaMarschallin · 19/07/2025 09:24

I've never posted "The first post nails it" before but it does.
She did tell you when it was appropriate and I don't understand the hovering thing.

There are a disproportionate number of bizarre threads on Mumsnet that involve discussing toilets and various aspects of going to the toilet in detail. This is one of them.

I agree. It's a race to the bottom.

Edited

No pun intended ?.😂

pizzaHeart · 19/07/2025 09:59

AnimalLover24 · 19/07/2025 09:36

I’m clearly in the minority but I wouldn’t expect a friend to sit on the ‘bowl’ of my broken toilet and if I only had one bathroom then I’d absolutely mention it if they had planned to come round.

you didn’t mention that you were going to use her toilet so it’s on you then.

TalkToTheHand123 · 19/07/2025 10:00

Totally valid thread. Those not able to grasp the situation are tramps. She should be ashamed to not have had it fixed for your arrival or at least had the decency to tell you in advance.

PollyBell · 19/07/2025 10:00

This is a new one, no i cant imagine anyone remembering when we make plans someone remembering to personally inform me with a million things people have going on in theit own life thst a toilet seat is broken, same as sadly no the thought never crossed my mind

Is there a scroll we can all,share on need to know items we need to broadcast?

Rosesanddaffs · 19/07/2025 10:01

@AnimalLover24 as a rule always carry loo seat covers with you, these have protected my arse many times

IsSpringSprangedYet · 19/07/2025 10:01

I actually like these threads sometimes. A little nonsense amongst the sad / terrible / difficult things people are facing. Only sometimes though.

I'd inform a friend if we had no bathroom due to renovations for example, or if we had no cake. But a toilet seat? No. YABU I'm afraid.

LaMarschallin · 19/07/2025 10:01

Newmumburnout · 19/07/2025 09:59

No pun intended ?.😂

Show quote history

Now, what do you think...? 😉

Shenmen · 19/07/2025 10:01

Shessweetbutapsycho · 19/07/2025 09:56

Agreed, perhaps take this as your sign to start improving your strength… old age is not going to be a fun time for you if you are unable to support your own body weight for a few moments

Show quote history

Absolutely this. You will start struggling getting in and out of chairs if you can do a gentle squat.

CelestialGazer · 19/07/2025 10:02

AnimalLover24 · 19/07/2025 09:36

I’m clearly in the minority but I wouldn’t expect a friend to sit on the ‘bowl’ of my broken toilet and if I only had one bathroom then I’d absolutely mention it if they had planned to come round.

Yep, a 99/1 minority at the time of writing. So maybe recognise that you were being completely unreasonable? I hope you are not so precious about other things too.

zingally · 19/07/2025 10:03

I'd also count myself as "a slightly larger" lady. And I'd have just perched on the bowl.

But your title doesn't make sense... You strongly imply she didn't tell you her toilet seat was broken. She did tell you. You said you wanted the loo, she replied the toilet seat is broken...

What a non-event.

3luckystars · 19/07/2025 10:04

How is it ‘body shaming’ to say your legs are weak. It’s invisible to anyone else.
If it’s the truth, it’s something you can work on and should do for your old age. Good luck x

BellissimoGecko · 19/07/2025 10:04

Sit on the bowl. And if you can’t hover for the length of time it takes to wee, then I suggest you look into exercising and strengthening your muscles.

Cam1981 · 19/07/2025 10:05

@AnimalLover24 what prior arrangements would you have made had you been told? Brought your own toilet seat with you and take it when you go?

Ginmonkeyagain · 19/07/2025 10:05

What an odd thing to be annoyed about. The toilet was still usuable.

Original poster
AnimalLover24 · 19/07/2025 10:07

Cam1981 · 19/07/2025 10:05

@AnimalLover24 what prior arrangements would you have made had you been told? Brought your own toilet seat with you and take it when you go?

Gone at home clearly!

OP posts:
BeepBoopBop · 19/07/2025 10:08

Dont come to France then - 80%* of public loos are missing toilet seats 😂. Now you are forewarned, you can ‘make arrangements’ whatever they are. You will also need your own loo paper.

  • the remaining 20% are missing the actual toilets.
MyCoralHedgehog · 19/07/2025 10:08

babasaclover · 19/07/2025 09:27

if you’re too heavy and unfit to hover for 10 seconds I think you should be seriously worried about your health.

most normal people can do this so why on earth would your friend pre warn you? Caveat of course for disability but you mention being too large as the reason. She probably didn’t even see it as an issue as she herself and her family are fit enough to hover 🤷‍♀️

Exactly! What a ridiculous post. I wouldn’t want a friend like this. Just sit on the bloody rim!

amicisimma · 19/07/2025 10:09

Rosesanddaffs · 19/07/2025 10:01

@AnimalLover24 as a rule always carry loo seat covers with you, these have protected my arse many times

Protected your arse from what?

Why would the tops of your thighs need protection from touching an area touched by the previous user's thighs?

Wetness and pathogens can easily penetrate a thin sheet of paper, so should those be lurking they will touch your skin. A quick wipe would probably be more effective and you could (indeed should) wash anything off your hands afterwards.

grumpygrape · 19/07/2025 10:11

Suggest OP never visits China or France (other countries may be similar) where there are frequently no seats on the loos.
I can't hover but wouldn't have a problem sitting on the bowl. Smooth porcelain probably harbours less germs than a plastic shaped seat.

BMW6 · 19/07/2025 10:11

Don't be so bloody daft OP. The loo was still functional so you're making a mountain out of a molehill here.

Bromptotoo · 19/07/2025 10:12

AnimalLover24 · 19/07/2025 09:21

There was no seat! That’s my point. They are in the process of replacing it this weekend.

Show quote history

Currently in France. Plenty of loos on campsites and Aires have no seat.

Just wipe the rim if you're bothered, plant your arse on it and do what you need to.

Job jobbed.

grumpygrape · 19/07/2025 10:13

BMW6 · 19/07/2025 10:11

Don't be so bloody daft OP. The loo was still functional so you're making a mountain out of a molehill here.

How do you know she was pooping a mountain 💩 🤣