New colleague comment - rude or misunderstanding?

[RunnerDeb]

A new (male) colleague started on my team recently. I interviewed him along with our (male) manager.

Conversation with new colleague yesterday about how he found our companies interview process compared to his previous company. He said that when I came down to collect him from the office reception ahead of the interview he thought I was the Secretary and was surprised when I sat down to interview him!!

Is it me or is that a really rude comment. There’s one thing thinking it, another saying it. It implies I wasn’t suitable to be in that role.

I certainly did introduce myself!

Do you have a confusing or ambiguous job title? My name is Susan and I'm the transpondster' might have meant he was none the wiser who you were!

If you said, 'I'm Susan. I'm the head of department and I will be on the interview panel' then I'd be wondering if he wasn't very bright or there was something wrong with his hearing!

What did you actually say?

what an excellent role model you are to a female child.

To be honest, I wouldn’t think that the person who came to collect me would be on the hiring panel. I’d assume (regardless of whether they were male or female) they were a PA or a less senior member of staff.

It was still a stupid thing for him to say out loud. I don’t think it’s worth raising a fuss with HR though.

Hmmm sounds sexist to me. He will show himself up again, if that's who he is - very bold to come out with such statement during early days

Did he know who was interviewing him? If he’d only be even given your (male) colleague’s name, then I guess that’s how the mistake crept in?

I also agree that one comment isn’t worth making a fuss over. It may have gone from a sexual viewpoint, but also he may have assumed that the interviewers PA/secretary was getting the interviewees.

I think you're reading too much into it. You did ask him about the interview process and how it differed from other companies. Maybe the secretary did always come and get the interviewees at other companies where he'd been for interviews. I wouldn't think much of it. If he starts coming out with sexist crap on a regular basis that's another matter.

Why bother falling over yourself to invent a highly unrealistic scenario as an apologist for this person? At very best he was unprofessional and indiscreet in what he said. At worst it could only be overconfident sexism.

Yeah, this is incredibly rude. It’s also sexist.

As a PA myself, I would always go and collect the guests/interviewees so he was probably used to it.

@GreenCandleWax

Why bother falling over yourself to invent a highly unrealistic scenario as an apologist for this person? At very best he was unprofessional and indiscreet in what he said. At worst it could only be overconfident sexism.

Right????

What is it in so many people that makes them scrabble to find the kindest and most spurious of explanations to account for the behaviour on someone who's blatantly being cheeky to a superior in their first day on the job?

Someone will be along shortly with "he could have been autistic/suffering from poor mental health".... Christ...

It’s called a difference of opinion.

But, see, this is where we going wrong; secretaries aren't necessarily 'junior'; they are often seen as a key figure in an organisation, without whom day to day running would fall apart. It's for this reason many are very well paid.

Reading the OP back, there no suggesting that he was saying she was 'junior', just that he thought at first glance she was 'the secretary'. Based on what, we don't know. But it's everyone on here suggesting 'secretary' = 'junior'. So much for women lifting up other women, eh?

I don't think it could've been malicious as if it was he wouldn't have admitted it. It shows he has a limited filter though. Which might raise eyebrows if he says certain things to seniors or clients in general.

It is inherently sexist he assumed that. But I don't think he was saying he thought you were incapable of a senior role. I mean he didn't know what role you had initially so how could he judge you on it.

People can put their foot in it and there's nothing more to it, so I guess you'll see.

As soon as he knew who you were I presume he behaved appropriately else you wouldn't have hired him.

But yeah, keep an eye on him a bit.

Certainly not falling over myself (!?!?) and it's not remotely unrealistic to suggest he assumed she was a secretary - on first sight - based on how she was dressed.

That's misogynistic!!! What an a hole.
Definitely one to watch!

Hi new colleague - random poster on mumsnet wants you to know the following 🤣

I’d agree with this. Where I work, someone from the admin team collects the interviewees from reception while the interviewers wait for them in a different part of the building. When I’ve gone for interviews I’ve never been collected by the person interviewing me either. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt too.

I am a man. All my bosses are women, and it doesn't surprise me or bother me in the slightest. Clearly this man is sexist, or he's acting out that police show where they go back to the 70s... What a twat.

I can get it. He's been for interviews when the receptionist/secretary dies the running around. Strangely enough, the head of my last organisation always went to collect people from reception and he always asked the receptionist what they thought - he wanted employees who were polite and friendly with everyone.

Sexist comment and concerning especially as he is so new in post. That would be the time when most people would be being very catious about the things that they say. Not that a comment like that is ever acceptable.

When I’ve been for interview I have never been collected by somebody actually carrying out the interview. It has always been the admin person/secretary/assistant. Surely that’s all he meant. Reporting or getting him sacked over something like this is ridiculous. Keep an eye on him for the next few months but otherwise let him show he’s good at his job.

I think people are seeing too much into this, maybe he thought the person interviewing him would be significantly older? Maybe your organisation is large and he wasn’t expecting the person conducting the interview would fetch him?

people really love getting offended! Goodness!

Yeah I think it’s a strange thing to say. However whenever I have been interviewed for anything, an admin person or secretary has come to fetch me and sort out the right to work documents and then I’ve been taken through to the panel. I’ve never had a panel member actually coming to reception to get me. I’d never say to anyone that I initially thought they had a different role though as that would be rude if I thought they had a lower one than I did.
Ive worked in HE for a long time now and up until my late 30s I had various people asking me if I was a student or telling me they initially thought I was a student. I had one person saying I was “a bit young to be teaching”. I was 37. Idk how old you have to be 🤷‍♀️ Some of my colleagues were 12 years younger than me as well (and looked it) so I’m not sure why I was targeted. I’ve not heard it for a while so maybe I finally look old enough 😂

Agree with this.

@RunnerDeb I’ve had women interviewees make assumptions like that about me though (one of whom was rude and dismissive of me - didn’t get the job 😏). But it does show bias, unconscious or otherwise.