Were my parents rude?

[PringlesForMe]

This week we had a party for our youngest’s birthday in the house. Husband and I are separated and still living together and we had my parents over to celebrate DS birthday. We are recently separated and my parents haven’t seen ex since. We were on edge as to how things would go but overall it went ok, DS opened his gifts, played with toys, we all had a buffet and it was busy and happy.

My parents stayed for 2 hours then had to get a bus, they hugged our children, I was walking them to the bus stop and when it came to saying goodbye to ex everything turned awkward. My mum just looked into the living room and said coldly “goodbye” No thank you for having us or what a lovely day DS has had. To make matters worse I’m off the tenancy now and ex is making a big deal about how it’s now his house (I’m leaving soon) So technically he sees it as him hosting my parents.

After they left I could tell he was angry and he said what rude and entitled people they are. He also said it was one of the worst experiences of his life (!) To me it only turned awkward as they were leaving - DS had a fantastic party and everyone behaved!

Were they rude? Extra context (I’m leaving due to ex’s behaviour towards myself - EA. My parents know about how he behaved)

I don’t think they meant to be rude but were more upset about the whole situation. They don’t want us to split up.

Of course your parents are going to be (at best) icily polite to the abusive partner their daughter is about to leave. The fact that you would even be considering that his sulks are reasonable here says a lot about how much he has trodden you down over the years. I’m really glad you’re getting out soon

Really happy for you that your leaving this idiot.
Your parents have probably found it hard to be fake I would be exactly the same if one of my children had gone through these situations in their lives .
I'd want them out and away from whoever was trating them so poorly.
Good for you on leaving your life will be so much happier 🩷

Fuck him!! How does he expect them to behave towards him when his behaviour has been bad enough for you to end your marriage!
Would you be warm, kind and grateful to anyone who’d upset your children? I know I wouldn’t!

No I don't think your parents were particularly rude.
On the other hand 2 take aways from this post- it is great you are leaving your ex, he is obviously controlling, always needs to be the centre of attention (a narcissist) potentially violent (punching holes in hotel walls is not normal, particularly on your honeymoon) and a bit of a fantasist- it's his house now? It belongs to the landlord no matter whose name is on the tenancy agreement.
The other take away is you need to distance yourself from your parents beliefs- staying together because you don't believe in divorce has sounded, and been unbalanced since at least the 1950's

What an absolute non-issue.

Ex is being a baby and an abusive twat.

Ask him how he thinks he thinks he'll react if, God forbid, in the future one of your kids is in an abusive relationship? Would HE be polite and cordial with his child's abuser?

I very much doubt it.

Entitled? He's lucky your dad didn't knock him out. Anyone abuses a child of mine and they'll regret it. My family stood behind my abuser and I'll never let that happen to anyone else.

Your parents are loyal to you and you’re upset with them? I suggest you need a reset and it’s good that you’ll have distance from your ex. It sounds as if you are blind to his faults.

Your ex presumably hosted the party and invited his child’s grandparents for the sake of his child… to make their birthday special ?!? NOT so he could receive praise and thanks?!?….
Presumably you helped A LOT?… so he didn’t really host did he? If he’d hosted you’d have been sat on your arse drinking wine!
Also your parents are grown arse adults.. you have no control over their behaviour … this isn’t your issue. You ex is also a grown arse adult…. If he has a problem with another adult he needs to call them they were rude, it’s not your place to get involved whoever they are!

My mum would have given him a mouthful - well she wouldn’t as she would have refused to be in the same room. Sounds like they did well under the circumstances.

He must have had a very easy life indeed if that was one of his worst experiences! What a silly twat.

What did he expect, they hoped they wouldn’t have to deal with him, they’d hardly be thanking him. Probably biting their tongues.

You are surrounded by toxicity. When you have left get some therapy to help you understand what a healthy relationship ( partner & parents) looks like. What you have experienced is not healthy!