To think it was a bit disingenuous for no one to mention weight on ‘Too Much’?

[Pollysoftheworld]

I am around the same size as Lena Dunham. I am also similarly predisposed to put weight on around my face/ chin/ neck. Lucky us!
I have only watched the first few episodes of Too Much, but I know enough about Lena to know this is based on her life. The main character is also plus size/ curvy/ fat (choose your adjective of choose, I call myself ‘fat’)
Whilst the actress has a gorgeous face and hair, I do find her lack of consciousness odd, and it’s not like any plus size person I know.
Some may disagree, but I feel there is a lack of realism in the way that she presumes men will want to be with her (the musician guy, the footballer) when for me and most of my single, fat friends the question is always ‘but is he attracted to big women?’
Weight is a big part of what we consider attractive. Luckily this is changing but we are not there yet where guys in their 20/30s are queuing up to openly date big women. Some are! And many like to have sex with us in secret, but the idea that London is this metropolis of people who don’t care about weight is just not real.
Which leads me back to Dunham. When she was single, I imagine she may well have confidence walking into slim people’s spaces and flirting with footballers. She could do that as she was a rich, famous actress and writer. To presume someone much lower down in the pecking order would have similar confidence is a flaw in her autobiographical writing style. She was not a plus sized line producer trying to make it London and find love, she was a star.
I’m not shaming! It’s just something I noticed. Weight unfortunately still controls so much of our perception of others (see the many threads from people who have lost weight and found they get better service, more attention, flirting etc) and to not write about this experience is disingenuous.

She didn’t look fat to me really. It seemed totally plausible that the men in the programme would find her character attractive. If she was very obese rather than curvy then I might have agreed a bit more than I do.

I’ve just looked up Lena Dunham and the controversy over what she wrote in her biography. She sounds truly vile. It was interesting to see an article about her ”apology” on the Guardian website from 2014. So many people falling over themselves to excuse her behaviour and defend it as perfectly normal. I wonder if it was playing out now, would the responses be any different?

Suffice to say, I’ve no interest in her size and how attractive she is to men or otherwise. She sounds like a vile character.

It's also funny that these genetics have only appeared in humans over the last 25-30 years or so! i very much doubt their victorian great great grandmother's would have been morbidly obese due to those unfortunate genetics.

You should see the photo of my great grandma in her WW1 nurses' uniform- she was pretty damn hefty!

I've inherited her genes (as did my grandma and my mum), and it's only through sheer exhausting hard work and dieting that I'm not overweight- as I would be if I ate to satiation-especially surrounded by our contemporary obesogenic culture.

I'm sorry are you suggesting there were no fat people in Victorian times? Look at Queen Victoria, for a start.

Yes there were probably less due to the fact that most people were dying of the plague or malnutrition, but of course fat people existed then and always have.

While I don't think you're wrong, I think shows like this is how we move things along a bit.

It's similar to how David's sexuality is never a focus point in Schitts Creek. It was a conscious decision to explore sexuality in a safe space without being dragged into the pitfalls and issues of discrimination that are often associated with gay characters.

Yes humans have always had the ability to become overweight obviously, so there has always been overweight people. But generations ago most overweight people would have been wealthy as they were the only ones that could afford to eat large amounts to gain such weight.
It's obvious that the amount of food you eat determines your weight. Have you seen the huge portions an obese person will eat, That's why gastric band procedures work because it helps them eat much less so they inevitably lose weight.
many overweight people are in denial about how much they eat, or maybe they do not realise the amount they're eating is excessive as perhaps their parents have always feed them huge amounts so its normal to them.
some seem to think it is genetics causing their obesity and not the fact they're massively over eating. Or maybe they're in denial about how much they eat.
I have an overweight friend who says "im fat because i eat too much, but im happy and i love my food". I say fair enough!

Oh yes, I couldn't believe that at all, but then Miranda herself said she'd been approached by model scouts in her youth.

I think people were saying the same about the Split. That the main female character wouldn't get her ex back in real life because he'd have so many offers from younger/beautiful women, but these are series written by women and for women so I suppose we can dream.

On social media, what I would have always considered plus size is now called mid size by style influencers.
The thing is though, even if a 16 is average now, is that what footballers go for? I think that was part of the point OP was trying to make - that the women in the series (which I haven't seen) were going for the very top men.

Yes of course the amount of food one eats will usually contribute to their weight- but when people are talking about genetics they are often talking about a genetic pre-disposition to overeat, rather than oh I was just born fat.

Of course that aside there are scores of thin people who eat loads and scores of fat people who eat well and exercise- but I think you probably know that and are just looking to stick the boot in to overweight people.

Some plus sized people still have a thin face. That must help a lot. I thought it was the case for plus sized models until I learnt they used standard model with padding...

Honestly, I find it astonishing that a site which spends a LOT of time running down men and complaining of how awful and useless they are, then turns around and acts as if a beautiful woman attracting a very 'mid' man (I don't think that Will Sharpe is all that hot, he is passably attractive but no more) is somehow unbelievable and in the realms of fantasy. I honestly think that we women can be our own worst enemies. There is NOTHING unbelievable about them as a couple, I see similar every day just out and about. I think that most people on this thread are stuck in about 2005.

Big women can pull guys too, but usually only guys who are on their ‘level’. So for example Lena Dunham couldn’t pull Chris Hemsworth or Timothée Chalamet. She will pull…say..Ricky Gervais or Lewis Capaldi or her current partner. No disrespect to any of these people but you get my drift..

This is a bit like claiming not to see skin colour, isn't it? Of course you notice it.

Footballers are a very different breed from London media types, though. I agree that you are slightly less likely to see a footballer with a plus size or midsize woman (although the extreme thinness of the mid aughts is also out of date) but even that is probably changing.

Well, someone like Pamela Anderson was a more obvious sex symbol.
Models are mainly to show clothes, whereas women like Pamela and page 3 girls were more obviously for male arousal.

However, the supermodels who came before Kate Moss, Cindy Crawford and that lot were definitely fancied by men and I'd say they're pretty thin too, even if not 'skinny'.

There is a difference between seeing something (which of course people who have eyes do) and having "a thought regarding size" which is what that poster said.

What is the 'thought', exactly, if not judgemental?

Queen Victoria wasn't fat in her youth though.

And? It was to illustrate that fat people existed in Victorian times, not sure where age is relevant.

This is so true. I like Lena Dunham and loved Girls but she definitely used that to live out fantasies with men. Her character had the most unrealistic affairs! I know at the time she was trying to challenge beauty norms but the amount of times she got naked on camera felt like the viewer was complicit in her personal fetish!

I like the confidence of the character in Too Much but sadly think it’s unrealistic. Yes confidence counts for a lot when attracting men but the show gives them way too much credit! In reality I think the men would comment on appearance.

Because there are more fat young people now. The character in the series is presumably quite young.

I sort of agree about Lena Dunham herself: she isn't all that attractive facially which counts for a lot. Meghan Statler, however, is absolutely stunning. A knockout. If anyone was to comment on her appearance, it would be to compliment it. If anything, the fantasy element for Lena Dunham would be equating her to Meghan just because they're both plus sized. Lena Dunham was far smaller in her 'Girls' days and she still was less attractive than Meghan.

Havent seen it, but the actress is 5’6” and 171lbs so 12st 3lbs? Given the average size of young people now I don’t think that’d even be considered plus-size. She must be a size 14?

It might be genetics or some medical issue in a minority of cases. It is far more likely to be due to an excess consumption of nutritionally poor food combined with a tendency to be physically inactive, thanks to an abundance of cheap ultra-processed foods and having machines to do almost everything for us these days. Losing weight requires some effort, planning and patience, not everyone has the ability to do what it takes and adopting the accept-me-as-I-am is a much easier alternative.

Humans have evolved to seek out high calorie foods because back in the era when we had to hunt and kill in order to eat, seeking foods that were calorie dense was logical because you never knew when you would get your next meal, so get as many calories in when you can. In the current era of big agriculture where we just have to pop down to the shops for a meal, we are still desiring the calorie dense (i.e. fatty, sugary) foods even though there is an abundance of food in countries like ours, that fundamental survival instinct has not caught up with our current lifestyles.

I've been on both sides of the weight and attractiveness thing when young - first as a teen, chubby then crash dieted myself to skinny, and boys went from treating me as a joke to fawning over me with their tongues hanging out.

Then in my twenties, had a blip of about a year when I was on a medication that made me gain weight. Male attention fell off a cliff, plus sometimes men would be quite rude to me. Stopped the medication, lost the weight, fawning and niceness resumed.

Of course I'm not saying no-one bigger is attractive and clearly many bigger people have loving partners and spouses (Dunham is married, for instance) - but slim is definitely treated as more attractive.