To ask - does your partner/husband know how much you earn or what you have in savings?

[MerryPinkCritic]

I’ve been thinking about how open people are with their finances in relationships. Some couples share everything, some keep things separate and some… don’t even ask.

So I’m curious, does your partner know what you earn or how much you’ve saved? Do you think it’s healthy to be totally transparent or is some financial privacy important?

Full transparency here too. We wouldn't have it any other way. We're both working toward a shared goal so need to be doing it together.

We have been together 21 years. (Married 20). He was the one who out earned me and had all the assets. Everything is joint. We have complete unfettered control of all our accounts jointly.

When we got married he took me to a conveyancer to put me on the deeds of his house, which he owned outright. We both have fairly identical approaches to money- quite frugal. No waste because we are prioritising DC school fees which take up a stupid amount of our money.

That to me is what a healthy relationship looks like. Though as i said we have pretty much identical approaches to spending. If either of us were profligate then it would be a different story. DH was married for 5 years before me and he had to bail his out of so many debts and CCJs. And her parents also as her father was a gambling addict. I think it's a tribute to him that he did not then have simialr fears about sharing everything with me.

Rough idea of earnings, no idea about personal savings

We do have joint savings though for car/house jobs/general household expenses.

My parents have never known at all what the other earns to this day, and my mum was gobsmacked that we even have a rough idea of what the other earns 😂Finds it honestly shocking

I am surprised though by how many of my friends have their salary paid into their account and then they immediately have to pay it into their HUSBANDS account!!!!! And then he gives them back 'pocket money'. Really really common with many friends of mine and I'm completely appalled.

Oh and to add. We have discussed that if either of us die and the other marry again then everything needs to be tightly wrapped up to protect our children. As pps have said- it depends on your reality and your lens. I don't think I would marry again, or live with another man tbh. I certainly would not combine finances if either I or my new partner had c hildren. I would be SO much more circumspect.

Yes to both. Everything is known, shared and combined.

My ex husband was financially, a nightmare. Never again.

We share what we have, and share what we don’t have.

THIS. Totally agree. I was about to say exactly this.

Not to the exact amount, but only because he doesn’t keep track.
He could give a rough idea, and if he asked, I’d tell him.
Currently I have his savings in my account anyway, because I had a higher rate for a year. After the year we’ll reassess and move it round.

Yes
He organises alllll finances. I have no bloody idea. He could royally roust me if he chose too. Except he's pretty principled when it comes to money - it's his job after all. And he's more principled when it comes to his kids having a roof over their head. It's pretty sexy come to think about it actually.
And you know, I earn a fair whack and am not dependant on him at all so that helps give me confidence if it goes tits up.

Yes, it’s not remotely normal for a spouse to not know what the other earns.

For those who don't share savings amounts, how can you plan for the future or for retirement without this information?

Seems mad to me.
DH and I have a shared spreadsheet with everything on it - asset and debts. pensions, shares, other equities, properties - we own a few jointly and invest so we need to know how much we have to spend.

Yes to both, we know exactly what the other’s income and savings are. We don’t specifically keep an eye on the. They’re just not secret and we don’t mind each other knowing.m

Yes to knowing each others earnings
Yes to each other's savings.
Recently, after 15yrs we have started joint savings as well.
I thought this was the norm in a healthy relationship!

Of course my husband knows. I find it very strange when married couples don’t disclose finances. I wouldn’t even marry someone like that tbh

My parents were like this. My father gave all his wages to mum to pay all the bills the. He then received pocket money

He knows what I earn but we are not married and don’t share children and I own the house outright with him paying me a monthly rent. I think I have a rough idea of his saving and he has only just become aware of what I have, it’s a very large amount due to inheritance and I deliberately didn’t let him know for many years.

We pool everything and then share disposable income out absolutely equally. . Everything is joint and entirely transparent. Once a year we sit down and go through all our passwords for phones, tablets , investments in my name ( lower tax payer)SIPPs , pensions, car insurance etc. We can both access everything. My husband was widowed at 38. He knows what a pain it is to deal with admin after a spouse dies so everything is open and transparent.

Yes. We have a joint account and both salaries go into it. I generally manage our savings but they’re all recorded in a shared spreadsheet.

Of course we know everything and share everything - we are a team. It’s not my money or his money, it’s our money.

Yes, we have joint and separate accounts and investments. We have each other’s passwords. It is considered joint money. My husband does a spreadsheet once a month to show the current value of accounts and sends me a copy.

No, my husband doesn't know how much money I have in my country of origin. Also, a decent apartment.
Earnings, obviously yes.

Everything is in our joint names, apart from pensions obviously.

DH has a much bigger pension pot than me but I’m not concerned should we ever divorce.

We track our family net wealth so would be difficult without full visibility

Mine actually doesn’t. My work is sporadic and the amount fluctuates. I have a few different places I save and he knows from conversations but I doubt he’d remember.

Yes to everything.

We have a joint account and all savings are joint savings. Only a small amount into a 'spending' account each.