To ask - does your partner/husband know how much you earn or what you have in savings?

[MerryPinkCritic]

I’ve been thinking about how open people are with their finances in relationships. Some couples share everything, some keep things separate and some… don’t even ask.

So I’m curious, does your partner know what you earn or how much you’ve saved? Do you think it’s healthy to be totally transparent or is some financial privacy important?

Every penny, and me his.

We have separate bank accounts and savings but treat it all as joint money so we need to keep track of what is where.

I was with my late OH for 15 years. We had fully separate finances but full transparency. We both knew exactly what the other had in the bank + any debts and talked through most purchases above £100 (which was a lot for us).

We were planning to switch to a joint account and to just share everything fully after the wedding but he died 6 months before.

He doesn’t have a clue. He doesn’t know how much HE has either 😂 I have my own current accounts and savings accounts then we have a joint current account and a joint savings account. He wouldn’t be able to say what was in any of them, but he would be able to say how much was in the business account, so that’s something I guess! It suits me to do all the budgeting etc, he doesn’t make many decisions re finances.

Yes, absolutely.

We both have totally separate accounts for everything, though.

My dh never asks what I earn or save and I don’t intentionally not disclose it. Was married before and had joint accounts and he seemed to be one step ahead of me and drained the accounts leaving me with nothing.
Myself and dh have a joint account but there’s no way I’m putting all my eggs in one basket again

Yes he knows how much I earn, and we only have joint savings.

We know how much each other earn but probably not the total amount of savings it is not a secret just more information that isn’t needed unless we are planning a big purchase.

I get where you’re coming from, especially in a long-term setup where everything feels shared. But I don’t think everyone keeping some financial privacy is about secrecy - for some, it’s about autonomy or simply how they were raised. As long as the essentials (like repairs or holidays) are covered and both people feel secure, I think there’s room for different setups.

We put everything in the same shared account. I know everything her earns and he knows everything I earn. Totally open about it. Luckily have the same mindset when it comes to money, so we never disagree over it.

No. Not exactly - and I don't really know about his finances either! We probably have a vague idea of a ballpark salary but no real clue about anything else!

Yes to both.

All our money goes into one joint account and from there goes on bills or into savings - some in sole names (ISAs) and some in joint.

We have our sole current accounts for personal spending - mainly because we have different views on this 😂 - but includes work travel and lunches too. We get the same amount transferred into our bank accounts each month.

I deal with all our finances, DH is the higher earner but is less interested in money generally. At the end of the day it is all ours.

We’re not married and have no children together. As far as I know we both know a reasonably detailed outline of everything for each other - earnings, savings, pension prospects, insurances. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yes to both. Ever since we first started saving for a wedding, and to buy a house together, each month we would check how much we had added to our savings.

That was many years ago now and we don’t check as often as we used to, but we still do every now and then. The focus has changed now, we think about saving for the kids university costs, pension pots and saving for what we hope will be an enjoyable retirement together.

It feels like part and parcel of life together - a joint endeavour.

Yes because he sees it going in and out of our joint accounts every month. We are sharers.

Yes, everything is combined. I see it as part of being married.

We know how much each other earns because our pay and other income streams goes into our joint account. We transfer money out to a bills account, some to various joint savings accounts and then the rest is split in half for each of us to do what we want with. I don’t know what he saves or where and vice versa. I mean we could both ask and find out but we don’t!

More or less! However it isn't combined and never will be.
I choose how I invest my money...the risk level is of my choosing and same for his money.
We used to have different attitudes to saving so I've done my route and he's done his.

Our wages go into the joint account so he would if he looked. He probably doesn't even know what he earns.

I do a spreadsheet of all the savings, investments, mortgage balance and any active credit cards every month for both of us and add it all up. He asks occasionally.

Its all joint money.

Yes for both. All our accounts are joint.

He knows roughly about both but has no access to either.

I’m confused by these poll results. I took YABU to mean separate finances, without sharing information……. And YANBU the opposite, I.e. transparency about finances…?

@MerryPinkCritic - can you clarify?

Yes and yes. We have a joint account for bills and joint savings. We maintain our own accounts but get equal spends for the month. Our financial situation has improved lately using equity to pay off debt and a £20k payrise for me meanw we are about to start our own savings each in addition to the joint one but really its for nice things like expensive bday gifts or taking each other away etc.

He might have a rough idea about earnings but he hasn't asked. Savings, no. He doesn't even know how much is in our joint savings.

We share everything however this is 100% about the fact that we had absolutely nothing when we met, and built everything we have now together.

If we ever separated I am certain neither of us would enter another relationship like this, as there would be wealth brought into the relationship that we would want to safeguard for our child.

Yes. Of course. I think it's a very odd relationship/marriage where a couple keep their earnings and savings a secret.