To ask - does your partner/husband know how much you earn or what you have in savings?

[MerryPinkCritic]

I’ve been thinking about how open people are with their finances in relationships. Some couples share everything, some keep things separate and some… don’t even ask.

So I’m curious, does your partner know what you earn or how much you’ve saved? Do you think it’s healthy to be totally transparent or is some financial privacy important?

Yeah I agree with @SomeOfTheTrouble . Thing is it doesn’t impact what we can spend - it’s just part of a bigger picture. Passive income streams in the future, school fees, maintenance, nice holidays, all planned out as part of a strategic plan so we can indulge our weaknesses as and when - but we are open with what they are. For example, jewellery for me and watches for him. Both of us have spent thousands quite ‘off the hoof’ because maybe he got a call saying he’s at the top of a list or I have decided I need a new piece for an event. However, at no point is it not transparent and as part of an overall plan.

Totally separate finances, married with DC and no joint accounts. Both came to the relationship with assets and savings and earn well. It’s never occurred to us to put it all in one pot or even some of it as it’s just not necessary for us. I sound like a broken record on these types of posts but what works for one relationship doesn’t work for all. I can’t understand why people think all marriages should be the same financially with joint accounts. We never argue about money and its swings and roundabouts when it comes to spending on holidays etc. Big purchases like cars we generally go 50/50.

@RobertaFirminoyour mother was a wise woman.

Yes he does and always has. We have a joint account, all money goes in there and then split into savings and we each get “fun” money into our own accounts. He maybe doesn’t know what’s in my fun account but could find out if he wanted to

Yes, we have complete transparency although we have separate accounts/finances. It works well for us.

When we married, he had the income and a bit of savings. Two home moves and him being self employed left him paycheck to paycheck if that's what he's claiming. I started working and saving it all because all bills are on his name. So I'm having not a bad deal but he knows I'm not going anywhere with it ...a bit random I know but we aren't rich and the marriage is functioning so well keep it that way

Savings yes as they are joint (apart from a save the change one I have which I use towards Christmas stuff). Earnings also roughly yes. I don't think either of us know exactly but rounded up or down a thousand. I think dh sometimes does forget how much lower my earnings are than his though!

Yes. We have been married over 30 years and have always been completely transparent about money. In the early days our salaries went into a single joint account and we also had a joint savings account. Over the years there have been periods when my husband earned more than I did, periods when I earned more, and periods when we both earned about the same amount.

We are now retired and our pensions go into the same joint account that our salaries used to go into. We still have some joint savings, but we also each have ISAs and Premium Bonds, which cannot be held jointly.

We consider all money to be shared equally, irrespective of who earned it or whose name it is in.

DH and I have separate finances and both pay same amount into joint account every month. This is because when we both worked we earned roughly the same amount. We go halves on gifts we buy for people from us both. We go halves on holiday cost. DH knows roughly what I have in my savings but not the exact figures. I know roughly what he has in his savings but not the exact figures. If he needed to borrow money from me he could and vice versa.

We only have joint money (pensions excepted). I manage the finances but DH could see what we have if he was bothered to. Rule is that purchases over £100 have to be jointly agreed. We both work full time, I earn slightly more.

Yes, everything to the last penny is pooled together, my money/income/savings are his and vice versa. A payrise for him is a payrise for me and likewise in reverse. Has been for 20 odd years without issue.

We have every account separate, but are completely chaotic. We just pay for things haphazardly. We go through each others' post, phones and devices, and only have to ask to see each others' accounts (not that we bother except to do admin) because we forget the logins. I have to clean up social media fortnightly because we both make fat-finger mistakes on each other's. We do plan to make our current accounts joint in case one dies.

No to both. And I don't know what he has. Neither of us are interested. We have and always have had completely separate finances. Only joint thing we have is the jar we chuck our change into.

Complete transparency. He has always known my salary and I his. He has access to my bank accounts, savings and investments and vice versa.

Mine doesn’t have a clue. He earns it that’s it.
he has no desire to know as he doesn’t want to deal with anything financially. He knows we have multiple accounts but doesn’t know with which banks or the amounts in them.
He has his own account and I put money in it for him for fuel and lunch each week.

Everything in joint accounts, but hubby avoids all financial knowledge (ASD).

Yes. We've been together 20 years. It would be absurd to me if he didn't know what I earned. I have £30k in savings from before we fully shared our finances. I had saved £80k, but paid off a chunk of our mortgage and paid for my husband to retrain, plus bought him a van and the equipment he needed for his new career. He's aware that the remaining £30k is my running away fund/mental health fund if I ever want a year off of work.

Yes to both, he knows what I earn and I know what he earns. He knows how much money in savings as they’re also joint although a lot is technically in my name because I used to pay less tax.

That doesn't seem fair to me?

Quite tricky.
Husband has always resisted joint bank account even now he is retired.
I have inheritance that I have guarded for over 10 years and I decide what it is spent on . Mainly the children.
Husband has expensive hobby and he probably doesn’t want me to know how much it costs!

I deal solely with all of our financial business because it’s my thing. I’m very good at it, and we have a lovely lifestyle due to my spreadsheets and savings pots. DH has x amount per month to spend, as do I - neither questions the other. I spend what I feel like spending on the children, home and holidays. He earns double my wage (but I’m on decent money too) but as long as he gets his pocket money each month he couldn’t care less.

We live in a 5 bed detached, own two other properties, holiday 6 times per year and each have a nice car.

Fella is incredibly laid back. He just wants to do his hobby twice a week, buy things for said hobby and have a takeaway on a Saturday night.

no to both - lack of interest rather than any desire to be deliberately opaque.

if he asked you d tell him but he genuinely doesn’t care. Same for me and his earnings/investments

actually to be fair I couldn’t give you my exact salary

It's not exactly. I have had to ask for money before working and starting my own savings

Yes, completely. Everything is 'our' money and decisions made jointly.

He knows roughly how much I earn but then I couldn’t tell you what my salary actually is without working it out. As for savings probably not but I’m not hiding it.

Yes my DH does. We’re a partnership. Unless there’s something wrong in our relationship why wouldn’t we know what each other has? For one, if either of us die we need to know what’s there.