Would go out on your own on a Saturday evening?

[CVVFan]

I’m completely on my own on Saturday and would like to go out for a cocktail, but I don’t know how odd it would look to sit at a bar/restaurant sipping cocktails by myself.

I could ask the two friends I have and see if they’re free but I at the same time, I don’t mind being on my own, it’s more if the restaurant/bar would have a problem because I’m taking a table just for one.

Do you ever do anything on your own?

Yes have done so and will continue to do so. I just pick the places I know are quieter on a sat evening, are local to me so I can safely get home etc

He's a cutie

Oh FFS, stop fear mongering.

No, come on. You’re being reckless.
Of course you SHOUKD be able to do this without a second’s thought, but you can’t. It’s unsafe.

I do. But if I'm coming back very late at night. DH will pick me up. I wouldn't let my DDs walk back after dark on their own. If DS is with them yes. Or I'd pick them up or tell them to take an Uber.

@Vvbs

i can handle that. That wouldn’t put me off doing something I wanted to do. I won’t let men dictate where I can go and when.

@Vvbs

what do you class as late at night?

also re your daughters what do you mean “let them”. You do realise they could move out? Move to a different part of the country or emigrate even and then they could do whatever and you wouldn’t be consulted?

If that’s what you want to do then go for it! No reason why not.

You will only let your adult daughters do something if there is a man to escort them? That’s very 1850s of you. Your son is more likely to be attacked than your daughters, if random attack is your concern.

I have and will continue to holiday alone, travel alone, hike alone, wild camp alone, and go into any pub bar restaurant or cinema I like alone. I’ve been into several pubs for a drink alone in the last weeks especially as it’s been warm.

Im not going to restrict my children’s movements either and they can walk around wherever they like or need to at whatever time of night they are comfortable with because how else are we ever going to live a full and normal life?

I don't prohibit them going out and enjoying the city. But there are some things I don't allow for their safety. We live in Bethnall Green. No way on God's green earth will I let them walk home alone at 11pm in pitch black dark. They can go out out and have fun. Just take an Uber back straight home.

When DDs joined secondary I would make DS walk with them back home. They went school quite far away so when they'd be back it'd be after dark. So yes I made DS walk them back home.

After dark. Pitch blakc

Noone will be taking any notice. Potentially men will who want to flirt with you though. That's one factor that would put me off.

Cocktail bar on my own isn't my sort of environment, I'm more crochet in front of a t.v programme if I had an evening free to myself.

I would go somewhere happily on my own though if I was interested.

@Vvbs

so in winter your daughters can’t go anywhere without a male at 5pm?? How does this impact for their work, etc? How old are they?

Where in Bethnal Green is it ever "pitch black"? It's the bustling east end of London, not the moors.

OP I would do this, and have many times. I've even been out clubbing alone. I would not think it weird if someone else was doing it.

Well leave toddler with annoying DH and go out then

Myself and my now ex hubby split and I spent countless weekends indoors alone. Then one Saturday evening I got dressed up went to a local restaurant/ bar and had a meal it wasn’t so bad nerves were horrendous before I got there . I had a drink with my meal relaxed then stayed on for a few more . Actually ended up meeting some lovely people had a great night and never gave it a second thought again. Even tried the cinema alone but fell asleep was woken by a staff member after the movie ended , not embarrassed at all me sitting there drooling on myself 😂. Give it a try you can always leave after one if it doesn’t feel right. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I hope you have a great night !!

They can go out. They just need to Uber home or take a bus. Not walk back on their own long distancs. 20&17

Eh! Are woman not allowed to go out by themselves?

You're allowed of course. And we all should. But I'm asking about the realities here.

For example if this was Johannesburg. We'd definitely not go out on our own.

Yes and if it was the moon we'd not go out without space suits 😂

You seem really anxious about a post on mumsnet from months ago about a woman who had an annoying but, essentially, perfectly harmless, encounter with a weird man in a bar. In a country of 70 million people. Maybe have a think about how realistic your fears are.

I thought the bus was too dangerous? And who's walking long distances in Bethnall Green there's a bus stop every 200 metres

I think you are winding us up here. You don’t get to choose how teens and adults of that age get around.

Unless your girls have a disability or a backstory you haven’t mentioned there is no way that restrictions on their lives like this are reasonable or proportionate. I actually can’t pin down what you are worried about happening to them that you wouldn’t also worry about happening to your son, or that his presence would stop happening.

Teaching your daughters that they need a male to protect them is a terrible idea if your aim is to keep them safe. Considering they are unlikely always to have their brother available they will look to be escorted by other men, friends boyfriends. And we all know they are more at risk from the men they know than the men they don’t know. They are more likely to be attacked by the man who offered to see them home safely than a random stranger on the street.

What a risk to their mental and physical health not to be able to go for a walk or a run when they want to.

i think you are winding us up!

🤣🤣 You're really clutching at straws now.