Friend bringing friend on 80th birthday hol and making us pay

[SparklyBrickHare]

I’m absolutely fuming this morning. My friend and I are going to Las Vegas in December for our joint 80th celebrations, mine in November and hers in January. She has told me she’s bringing her other friend with us who I don’t like very much because she witters on about herself all the time.

It was supposed to just be me, DH, her and her DH but now she’s asked if her and I can split the bill and pay for this friend to come with us because she’s lonely and hasn’t got much money. She’s expecting us to pay for not only the flights and hotel but for a day trip and helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon which isn’t exactly cheap anyway without having to fork out for someone else.

I’m annoyed at the both of them. Her friend for expecting it and my friend for asking me to split it with someone I don’t like very much. The problem is that you can’t say anything to her because she victim blames and flies of the handle if you disagree with her. We can’t really have any fall outs because we need to get it booked quickly.
What would you do?

I’d go with just my DH

Say “no Jackie that arrangement doesn’t suit us. Would you like to go ahead just the four of us or shall we go separately?”

No. Don’t let her spoil this big ticket trip! Say how would you feel if I suggested we bring <someone she doesn’t get on with> and that you also pay half for them?! We need to book so is it the 4 of us or just dh & I doing our thing? I’d like it to be the 4 of us but I’m not interested in adding someone in.

I would cancel and not go, I'd probably lose the friend who actually doesn't sound like a good friend at all aswell.

Sorry that isn’t what I had in mind. I will just go with my DH. Enjoy your trip with your other friend.

No.

It is a complete sentence, and that is what you say to her. No.

where will this extra person sleep - she will want her own room, and that will cost more per person than 2 people sharing a room.

If your friend insists on her other friend coming, then she pays. or the other friend does.

I would scrap the whole thing - take a trip with your DH only. No way on this earth would I consider paying for someone to come on a trip like that when I didn't even like them. I can't believe she's got the cheek to even suggest it!

This reply is perfect

“I’m sorry, we’ve not budgeted for an extra person. Let me know if you’d like to go ahead with our original booking or we can arrange an alternative trip together some other time in future”.

I absolutely wouldn’t be paying for another person I didn’t even like on my milestone trip. Bonkers.

This with bells on.

Abandon the plan and go with your husband.

Say no. My sisters in law did something similar to me - we were taking one on holiday with us and suddenly she had invited her sister without consulting us. I went a bit OTT tbf, I was so furious and so was my husband. It caused some fallout and she didnt come. But I am so glad I stood up for myself and didnt have my holiday ruined.

This is perfect. If Jackie wants her friend with her it might be best if she her DH and friend all went together and you and DH went alone. I'd be telling her this. Having this friend there will spoil your experience. Don't let this happen.

You need to bite the bullet and say no. It's seriously cheeky to expect someone to pay towards another person's holiday, doubly so when it's not a person they're close to. Who in their right mind would do that? I'd rather risk a row than throw money away - especially if doing so would negatively impact my holiday.

I'd take the blocking me.

Go with chedders reply. It's perfect

No, by 80 you should be worldly enough to say no, and she should also be sensible enough to just say no problem

It sounds awful - don't book and cancel - she has changed the trip entirely.

She's being ridiculous. Pay for someone you don't like to go on your birthday trip. Cheeky fucker.

Change of plans. Go with your husband.

I would say no. And I wouldn't be making a big drama of it either...if you aren't capable of saying no that's on you, not her.

I'd change plans all together and go on your own with your DH. Don't know why you'd want to holiday with someone like this in the first place.

No. Just go with your husband.

Absolutely no way, crazy!
Will you loose money if you cancel and rebook just the two of you?
An extra person tagging along will definitely change the dynamics for such a special trip. Be honest and tell her exactly how you feel and if she gets the hump so be it.

Of course not!!!

Surely, at 80 years of age, you don’t need MN to tell you that this is ridiculous…

Ummmm no…. I am not paying for YOUR friend to have a holiday for MY birthday. You’re really pushing the boat out too far this time.

Say that when you make charity donations, you like it to count, i.e. food rather than expensive holidays.

I would tell her that it is booked as two couples and the first may end up feeling left out.

However if friend wants to come that’s up to her you won’t be paying half and won’t be covering any costs, and would be doing my own stuff with my dh

Better yet just be honest you don’t want the fiend t9 come but if she is insistent then you will just go with your dh

Why on earth would anyone consider this? The extra friend would be fine if I liked them (I don’t get stressed about these things but accept others do) but paying for them?!

I’d be hard pressed not to laugh in your friends face.