AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

My brother and his family are staying in our house while we’re on holiday. We asked him too to dog sit. It’s near his adult children who he can see. Win win. But it’s a different scenario.

As long as they're close friends and you trust them then absolutely fine. I see no issue with this.

I think its deffo cheeky to ask. Different from being offered and accepting.

I wouldn’t hesitate to say no.
You don’t want to have to come home and start changing beds and cleaning up after them.

Nope Nope Nope.

My aunt used to live in a house with a pool and would regularly get CFs people asking to stay whenever she went away during the summer.

She always said no, if anyone and especially someone's child had an accident anywhere in the house/garden/pool whilst she wasn't present then she would be personally liable. Her insurers were crystal clear on this.

I guess there's a camp of people who might appreciate a housesitter to deter burglars, water plants, feed pets etc. also some might say they'd rather their friends stayed when they weren't there as that way they don't have to do anything for them.
But I certainly wouldn't just suggest it to someone, I'd wait to be asked.

If you're not into it just politely decline. If you think you could tolerate it say yes but then tell them the rates you charge per night. If you don't want a house sitter then it needs to be treated like an Air B&B. Even if it's cheaper.

Some people would mind; others wouldn't.

If you don't want them staying in your house, then either say so or tell them extended family is already using it for that time.

they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit."

How much are they offering you to stay at yours?

I've stayed in many houses over the years, friends and families. I have never pried into any of their private drawers, cupboards, papers, etc. nor wanted to. I was chatting to my daughter's cleaner when she began to tell me details of my daughter's mortgage! I mentioned this to a friend as I was shocked and cross. She replied that if she was alone in someone else's house she'd definitely be in the cupboards and drawers. Other people have said similarly. So it's me that's the odd one, apparently this is common behaviour. Weirdos. Keep em out OP.

I would do this for good friends.

Lock all paperwork away and lock your bedroom.

Do I need a reason? I thought no was a complete sentence on MN? And that’s the thing isn’t it, you want a reason why someone would say no, so basically you’re saying that person now has the responsibility of coming up with a suitable enough reason to decline.

I would like to be a laid back type who offers their house to friends and has no problem with it. But sadly I'm not. It would cause me more stress than it's worth and I think many people would feel the same. I have offered my empty house to my sister before which felt and was absolutely fine, but anyone else, no.

There’s nothing unkind about valuing your personal space or not wanting interruption on a private family holiday. You feel differently and that’s fine but you don’t get to call those of us who wouldn’t be comfortable with this unkind thank you. You have no idea what other things people do for their friends.

It’s perfectly reasonable for them to offer to house sit and it’s perfectly reasonable of you to refuse. It doesn’t have to be a drama either way.

Some people I would do this for, lots I wouldn't. Ditto the other way around.

But I'd never, ever ask. Never.

Agree and I think it’s very patronising demanding a reason that’s acceptable to them. Plenty of valid reasons have already been given, gonegirl just doesn’t like them.

I am trying to understand why you wouldn't allow a good friend or family member to stay. So sometimes, in a discussion or debate, it's helpful to give reasons for your position.

If it is just that you don't want them to stay, that is up to you but I would consider that quite unkind behaviour.

Wtf are you on about. You don't need a stick up your arse to value privacy ffs.

The cheeky, tight bastards

Depends on how good the friends are - i would always offer our place without anyone asking if we were away and they were here( we live near a beach) but they are very very very good friends etc.

It depends which friends- my best friend who I use to share a flat with no problem but a new friend maybe not.

She’d have been personally liable if they had an accident while she was there too. It’s called Occupier’s Liability. But only if there was negligence in how the facilities were maintained. And the law allows for contributory negligence if the injured person was partly at fault.

It's perfectly legitimate to say something is unkind. You may not consider it so, but you don't get to police whether I think or say it.

I recently went away for a week and my own parents stayed in our house to have a holiday themselves and look after our pets.

I was very uncomfortable with them being there and they're my own parents!

Nope - I wouldn't be doing that.