AIBU to think parents don’t need to be ultra smart/ formal for graduation ceremonies?

[MimiGC]

Our son is graduating from UWE next week. He’s wearing a suit and tie, as are his friends. I think smart casual is fine for parents, but DH thinks formal wear for parents is required and is planning on wearing a suit and tie himself. Grateful for Mumsnetters experiences- who has been to a graduation ceremony recently and what were parents wearing?

That dress is lovely, and I think the smart shoes instead of the model’s Birkenstocks is a great idea. Have a fabulous time.

Thank you, I have nude heels the type that go with everything 😊

Suits for men, smart for women, in my view. I’m relaxed about a tie if it’s hot, but should look smart.

We have dds passing out from Royal Navy coming up, I just bought a nice summer dress and DH will be in a suit.
It would be a shame not to dress smart especially as the new recruits will have put so much effort into their no 1s

I think it's depends on the uni. My Dad wore a suit and my Mum a formal dress to my graduation but was more smart casual for my brothers graduation. At ours, most people were dressed formally, my MiL bought a brand new skirt suit cos it was a big deal to his family. I think my Mum would have dressed more casually if I hadn't insisted on family photos, I had to pay for them myself.

You’ll have an amazing day. It’s quite a dressed up occasion - or at least the RAF one is so I imagine the Navy is too.

I disagree completely. When you attend your child's graduation you are part of the audience. It is irrelevant what you wear and shows no disrespect to anyone.

What is massively disrespectful is those families who talk while the commencement speaker is giving their speech, or at any other point than when their only child is being recognized, or even leave after their child has crossed the stage but before the end of the ceremony.

I agree with your last point. Also I hate the excessively loud whoopers and cheerers, when it’s clearly the done thing to clap politely and beam a big smile in the direction of your child when it’s their turn.

At least half the parents were formally dressed (think smart wedding attire, many hats) though most refuse you entry if you aren’t dressed up. I wore midi length summer dresses to each of them and dh wore chinos, jacket and smart shirt to the one he attended (I went to dsd’s as her mum couldn’t go but my dd’sextra tickets went to her boyfriend and her sister)

@CloudywMeatballs probably the same parents who walked.out of primary school productions once their DCs' bits were over! Never realised this was a thing until I saw people do it for the first time.

I think women in hats at a graduation is completely overdressing. Bit embarrassing for the graduate.

Not if there are lots of them. The pp said “Many”.

Ahh @Seeline dc1 is graduating at the Beacon in a couple of weeks,
thanks for the heads up about the freezing aircon, will definitely be taking a jacket now!

@thing47 I have no doubt they are the same people! Right after they have hooted and hollered for their child's solo so that no one can hear the next child.

I work at a Uni and the norm at ours is the mums usually wear a summer dress with heels. I've even seen a few wearing a fascinator. I suppose it depends it you'll be going anywhere afterwards for a meal, drinks etc.? Or is it literally just the ceremony and home?

I went to my dd's graduation yesterday. All the dads wore shirts. Some had jackets and /or ties but most just had shirts.

Most mums wore skirts or summer dresses. Making an effort but nothing posh. Definitely not royal garden party vibes. I wore one of my work dresses and fitted in. Some mums had smart trousers and nice tops. No hats.

My mum wore her wedding dress to mine!

[Nb, not a white meringue dress, a beautiful fitted very formal dress. She looked lovely and we have some gorgeous photos now which I will cherish forever]

I have never heard of any university refusing any parent entry to their child’s graduation because of the way they were dressed. Where on earth did you hear that?

My DD graduated from Brighton a few years ago. There was a guy there wearing an orange dress with a full beard. Amazing!

There was also protests at the graduation because the university had just sacked a load of lecturers and bought up a gym tomake a new sports complex.
I hve never been proud of more young people that day, than those (including my DD) 75 odd% of graduates that wore sashes supporting their former tutors and made their voices heard how they felt.
These were the covid generation that paid the same fees but got the shit uni experience

But back on topic, it was mainly smart casual as it was a boiling day. Smart shirt and strides for men and dresses/trousers and nice tops for the wimmin

@MimiGC Haven’t seen a hat since the 80s. That was at Sheffield! Maybe all this dressing up is a northern thing? At UWE I think you’ll find it a bit more relaxed. I went to Bristol’s graduation ceremony for DD and no one looked like they were going to a wedding: no one. It was just decent enough summer dresses. Men in linen suits or cotton chinos and shirts. Some suits and ties but most didn’t as it was boiling hot. Comfortable shoes or sandals, but not trainers. Many dresses were shift dresses or midi ones in lighter fabrics. No work wear but a few trouser suits in pastel colours. Some parents looked like they had arrived after walking the dog. Honestly Uwe won’t be dressy and a decent dress will be fine!

Going to a formal celebration improperly dressed is absolutely disrespectful to the people being honoured.

I agree

Now ex-dh did not wear a tie for our first 3, but did wear a suit/jacket. I don't know what he's planning for the last one in a couple of weeks' time. I have worn the same dress each time (tradition!) so I'll be wearing that 😁 with sandals. No jacket. Some people will be incredibly dressed up, but most will be smarter than smart casual.

(At our eldest's, we'd arrived pretty early and had good seats where we could see everyone else arriving, and I saw a woman wearing my dress. Thought it was funny, and with several colleges and hundreds of students all graduating at once, not really an issue. Afterwards at drinks, found out she was one of my dd's best friend's mum 😂 )

In Bath today looked like a ton of weddings - nope, graduation day !! The weird ones to spot are clearly where the parents don’t talk anymore!!

I think you notice the dressed up ones. The majority go under the radar as they just look normal!