To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

I don't see the issue...let her bring her kettle. My mil brings her pillow everywhere she goes. I totally understand why she does and be ok with her bringing a kettle too if she wanted. My parents bring their own coffee and tea bags but do use my kettle

Maybe I can help…. I have a breville kettle. When I first got it I thought it made rank tea. I googled and looked at the reviews - many others said the same. There was a plastic widget inside mine. I think from memory it measure the water level? I removed it and the plastic taste was gone.

edited to say - I also bring my pillow where I go. I sleep flat as a pancake on my tummy so I have what others would say was a piece of material with a few feathers in it. No one normal would have a pillow like mine, it’s not a slight on your hospitality.

Just let her bring the kettle. Yes it's very weird of her, but as others are saying it's not worth the potential fall out.

If it helps, my in-laws have house shoes they bring to ours when they visit and they put them straight on when they come through the door. I am issued with a pair to wear when we visit theirs too!

How exactly can you refuse to let a grown up bring a kettle?

If you did refuse and she did it anyway, what would you do?

You are trying to control another adult over a kettle - madness.

Oh dear, I do this when I stay at DD’s and it really is just to save her a job (and she’s very grateful!)

Choose your battles!

Don't sweat the small stuff.

If having two kettles in the house is causing arguments, there’s nothing left to say.

Hee hee! I’m sure you don’t spend the entire time having digs at your DD though, which mine absolutely does (and which I smile through while DH tuts at her…)

What are you losing out on if you let her crack on with her own kettle? Unless you’re looking for an argument?

Just let her bring it and accept that she is quirky.

However, I ALWAYS take my own pillow when staying somewhere in the UK. Can't bear anyone else's pillows!

It's likely the water that tastes funny, we use a kettle that has a brita filter incorporated, otherwise tea tastes vile. Have you tried your normal kettle but with filtered water?
Anyway I'd likely let her get on with it, if the tea tastes better with her kettle so what, especially if she loves her tea.

I wouldn't drink tea out of something that has boiled water in plastic. No thanks

Both my mother and DH’s mother bring their own pillows to our house, and my mum brings her own coffee. DH takes his pillow to other people’s houses too!

I think this is totally fine tbh, unless rude in other ways it’s not worth getting upset about. I want people to feel comfy visiting my home!

Are you completely bonkers OP.
Why are you even asking if you’re being unreasonable, leave the poor woman alone, let her bring her kettle and stop being so petty over it.
I take my own pillow everywhere, I don’t want a pillow someone else has drooled on. I’ve also taken my own mug, I like a china mug!
I honestly wonder just what someone will find next to moan about their mother in law, will it be that she uses too many sheets of toilet paper!
Lighten up, make her welcome and her kettle, and give her a lovely stay, you might find it actually makes you feel good.

As annoying things visitors can do bringing your own kettle seems rather mild unless you have a tiny kitchen and space for an extra kettle will mean you can't prepare food or drinks.

Yep agree it is highly likely to be the water but still a just go with this it doesn’t seem a battle worth fighting

and I can see the pillow!

I’d let this one slide and just accept it

I would let her bring her kettle, she may find it's the water that is different, so next time she comes she will have to bring a large water tank to keep herself supplied with tea 😂

I don’t think you should have guests if you’re not willing to let them make small changes to make their stay more comfortable. There’s nothing weird about bringing your own pillow.

If she prefers her own kettle, let her live. Who’s it harming!?

Friends are not family. In my family we will ask the visiting family what they want so we can get in the exact brands and type of tea (and other drinks and food) that they prefer because we want them to feel at home.

She will find out soon enough...

I take my own pillow places...think a kettle is a bit much. Edited to say I knew someone who took their own mugs with them, to hotels.

To be honest, it seems perfectly normal Mumsnet behaviour to me. I mean, there’s a Mumsnetter who says she can’t batch cook because the food tastes of freezer. I can well imagine being able to taste the plastic in a kettle.It really is no big deal.

Lots of poater saying "let" her bring the kettle - I'm not sure you could actually stop her? I wouldn't make an issue of it she is particularly about tea its a preference not like she's saying your kitchen too filthy to make tea in or something!