To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

To keep the peace, just let her bring it (and roll your eyes as she raves about how much better the water from her kettle tastes).
Over the years my mum has bought her own mugs (mine aren't delicate enough), teabags (only likes Waitrose own brand and I don't shop there), biscuits (again, Waitrose own brand), her own cushion (our aren't to her liking), cup for water at night (ours are too big) and on it goes!! The items live under the bed in the spare room and get dragged out when she coming to stay. And yes, there are lots of other complaints about staying here too (our house is too cold, the cats make her sneeze, the gardens to small, our neighbours driveway is a better size etc). I'd love it if she stayed in a hotel but there's absolutely no way that would ever happen so I bite my tongue, roll my eyes and get on with it!

I have problems with that sort of thing. I get headaches from caffeine. I also get really bad headaches unless I have my own pillow as I have neck issues. You should let people do their own thing when it comes to what they are ingesting or what their bodies need.. She's not being rude. She needs to do it. Is it really so awful ?

It won’t be the kettle, it’ll be the water.

i can taste the difference between Cambridge water and Lancashire water especially in tea.

let her bring it. It won’t make any difference.

You have 2 options...

1. View it as a funny story about your mil and her peculiarities.

1. Put your foot down, create a drama and potentially cause bad feelings for years to come.

Whichever option you choose says a lot about you, as a person.

It’s not a hill to die on.
Some plastic kettles do make tea taste funny!!

She's bringing some creature comforts that won't make a jot of difference to you, but will to her. I do understand if she's generally a bit difficult, but honestly, in the grand scheme of things, does this even remotely matter? Let her bring what she likes I say.

I'd just let her crack on. While mocking her for it gently but pointedly, of course!

this absolutely

In life it's best to choose your battles.
Does it impact you her bringing a kettle.
Again with the pillow and sugar.

My mil if babysitting used to bring her own flask, cup, saucer, milk, sugar, spoon,
small plate, sandwich, pork pie, cake and servettes.
My mum was horrified but I didn't care as mil was doing us a favour.
Mil lived around the corner so it was only for 3 hours at the most.
Where as my parents lived the other end of the country.

Lots of things mil did that others would think strange but again as long as it didn't hurt our family we weren't bothered.

@BiscuitHammer my response to this would be. Thats fine I will make space for it in the kitchen. Would you like me to grab some of that tea you like . Really no need for MIL wars over a kettle.

Absolutely, it has to be Yorkshire tea in this house. When I visit friends though I will drink other tea to be polite, or have an alternative drink. I couldn't be so rude as to tell a friend thier tea is not to my taste, it's just basic manners.

It wouldn't kill OP's MIL to go without her kettle for a weekend for the sake of family harmony.

I bring my own pillows, I otherwise wake up with headaches more often than not

bringing a kettle is no biggy to me, whatever makes her happy, but it’s likely the water, so will be interesting to see if she gets the same taste in her kettle

In the grand scheme of MIL problems, this is almost an endearing idiosyncracy.

Let it go.

Plastic kettles are a health hazard though, might be worth investing in a new one!

Yes, I agree. I bought a plastic one last year and could taste the plastic in my tea straight away. So I did what I should’ve done first off and bought myself a beautiful Smeg one !
We also take our daughter’s pillow with us everywhere- with a bright pillow case on it instead of a white one so that we don’t miss it and leave it in a Premier Inn ….!

This sounds like an eccentricity for her and a power struggle to you. Do you see it like her marking her territory? It’s just a kettle. I know what she means - some plastic kettles do make hot drinks taste odd. My mum had a tipping kettle made of plastic - I couldn’t drink tea made from water boiled in it because I could taste it. It’s not often I say it, but be kind. Or at least don’t be unkind.

Did she drink the tea made using your previous kettle?

Maybe she really can taste a difference. Let her bring her kettle and crack on being chief tea-maker.

It would be ridiculous to let this overshadow her visit.

King Charles takes his own loo seat everywhere!!

This, although I'm not sure it's just an age thing. I stopped drinking tea and coffee in other people's houses years ago.
It may be the water, it may be the plastic kettle but the posters being so dismissive of OP's MIL are far more rude than she is. If they aren't able to discern the difference between two tastes/flavours then that's on them.
Taste enjoyment is important to a lot of us

The kettle is a bit random but I take my own coffee, sweeteners and milk when I go to my mums - hers are all rubbish (she knows and we laugh about it!)

I honestly can't believe you told her she was being dramatic. Who do you think you are? It's a fucking kettle ffs.

That’s brilliant I think I love your MIL!

I take my own frying pan. I wouldn’t go abroad without a jar of marmite either 😁

Why do you care? Maybe it's a bit odd, but she's family, and it's not worth being offended over.

Yes it would be unreasonable to 'put your foot down'. Just let her bring her kettle if it makes her happy.

@BiscuitHammer I’d be tempted to let her bring it then make her tea using your kettle. Wait to see if she notices or crows about the amazing difference 😬😬😬