To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

I would think she's strange but just let her get on with it. Maybe it's a difference in water she can taste? I know when we go on holiday tea often tastes funny because the after is different.

Strangely the only time I ever bought a breville kettle it tasted really badly of plastic and had to be returned. The replacement was the same so I've never bought one from them since!

Yes I can taste plastic as well, I had to stop storing biscuits in those air tight plastic container because I could taste the plastic on them, it’s gross 🤢

I always take my own pillow when going away and agree with her on PG Tips. Worse tea ever.

This. Why can’t she bring her own kettle? Who cares? Why fight about it?

Why the heck shouldn't she bring her own pillow? I hate other people's pillows, you don't know how clean they are #nightdrool. If bringing her own kettle let's her enjoy her visit more why would you not welcome it?

It’s unimportant. She’s family. Choose the path of least resistance.

It might not be the kettle, it could be the water, or the teabag if you use them. I do know what she means, I drink loose leaf tea at home and I can definitely taste when a bag has been used. It used to be customary not to clean the inside of a teapot as the tannins improved the flavour. Think of it like wine aged in oak barrels.

it’s just for the weekend, let her bring her kettle (but make sure she cleans up her own tealeaves!)

When my trusty Russell Hobbs kettle gave up the ghost after a mere 40 years or so of service, I bought a plastic kettle.

I'm afraid it made tea taste so disgusting that after a couple of weeks of hoping the plastic taste would wear off, I went and bought a metal kettle. The late Mr L noticed the taste too, and he drunk double-strength instant coffee with 2 sugars, so I'm surprised he noticed.

I'm with your MIL, I'm afraid. And I don't like PG tips, either!

I’m the most easy going guest but I bring my own pillow whenever possible and I have a super light weight alpaca wool filled duvet and I sometimes take that especially in the summer when it’s hot, I hate those thick synthetic ones. No one seems to mind it’s not a criticism of their belongings it’s just my personal preference. I’m not asking them to buy them specially in for my stay.

I’d probably laugh at her and say, ‘Oh you are funny mil!’ but ultimately, I’d let her bring it. The pillow thing is quite normal. The sugar thing is weird unless she uses finer sugar or a sweetener or something but again, I’d be meh 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd put her in charge of making all the brews for the household during her stay. You can't reason with crazy people, so for the ones you can't avoid (family), look for ways to get something beneficial out of their strange ways:

'MIL, I know you're particular about your tea. If you're putting the kettle on mine's milk with one sugar, please'.

Pick your battles, this is not the hill to die on!!!

Nod and let her carry on, (while quietly thinking how bonkers she is!!!)

Should just add I have a metal kettle🤣🤣.

I would let her bring her kettle but don't let her get comfortable with being critical of you. If she makes further comments like she has done about your tea, call her out on it every single time. Tell her she is being very rude, otherwise she will comment on everything, your home, the way you raise your DCs etc.

no one else has ever complained

That's not exactly reassuring. How bad would it have to be for you to decide to say something at friend's house?

People have differently sensitive hearing, sensing, and tasting.

She is a family, staying with you for longer than just an evening, so she has decided to carefully say something (bring her own kettle) and you call her rude and dramatic.

Just let her bring it.

Why does this even bother you?
It has zero impact on you, just let her bring her stuff.

PG tips is rubbish tea though…

Yabu. What a fuss over nothing, just let her bring her kettle.

How’s your fuse box @BiscuitHammer ? I only ask because my late MIL used to bring her electric egg boiler to our house. How one small appliance could fuse every socket and light in the house I do not know but it did!

No, some kettles do taste more plasticy than others, and I hate having a cup of tea with a plasticy taste.

Maybe @BiscuitHammer you are just used to that plastic flavour because you have it all the time. I promise you that I am not your MiL, but I think as the hostess you are the ridiculous one to get upset over something like this; God help you in the future if you ever have any real problems.

Also, as you are the hostess and her DiL, I think you are the one being very rude to her, unless there is a back story where she has genuinely been unkind to you? At the moment you are being the unkind and unwelcoming one. I also take my own pillow while staying somewhere else in the UK - pillow comfort can be a very personal thing.

I hope that your poor MiL can enjoy her visit...

Was your kettle new when she used it before? Plastic kettles and water boilers can take a while to get rid of that new, plastic sort of taste, or it could be your water, in which case her kettle will make no difference. Just leave her to it, not that big a deal and you want your guests to be comfortable.

It would definitely wind me up but I'd just let her crack on.

As some have already said, it'll be the water that is making it taste different and not the kettle. She'll be bringing her own water from home next time too!

Let it go. I'm fussy about tea and take my own teabags everywhere. I also take a pillow and don't think much of it.

Perhaps she has an acute sense of taste. Is your kettle needing decalcified? That could cause the tea to taste different. Or perhaps it’s the water in your area and she thinks it’s your kettle.

Let her bring her kettle. Just because you can’t taste anything wrong with yours it doesn’t mean to say it’s ok. Perhaps others have been too polite to say something about your tea tasting funny.

I get it, OP. Mine brings her own bedding. DH says she’s trying to help save us a job stripping the bed after her visit - but I know she thinks I can’t even wash a sheet to her satisfaction 😆

I feel judged. You probably do, too.