To think that my appearance is no one else’s business?

[burntoranges]

I’ve lost 5 stone over the course of around a year, and I finally feel happy with myself for the first time in a very long time. The weight loss was fuelled by a relationship breakup, and I’ve really been prioritising self care and enjoying being alone. I feel genuinely happy and confident, and I’ve always been curious about aesthetic treatments but to be honest I never bothered because I knew I’d still feel rubbish until I’d shifted the weight so it felt pointless. Fast forward to now and so far I’ve had my eyebrows micro bladed, hair extensions fitted, and an upper blepharoplasty scheduled later this month as I’ve always had hooded eyes that are now starting to affect my vision due to the skin sagging onto my eyelashes.

I also got the tiniest bit of lip filler at the weekend, had zero plans of telling my family because it’s none of their business, but they saw me the afternoon I had it done and it’s like all hell has broken loose. My mum and sister are disgusted with me, saying I’m ’taking It too far’ and I don’t need anything done. I’m just so annoyed because I’m finally happy and confident and treating myself to these little tweaks that I KNOW the risks of, I’ve accepted those. I feel like they’d rather I went back to being fat and miserable.

AIBU to ignore them if they ever bring up my
looks as it’s none of their business? Am I being too harsh?

I'm 50 and very jealous of both your skin and your amazing weight loss. I don't think your sister and mum are coming from a place of jealousy though, you've been through a massive transformation in a relatively short time which can be unsettling. They might just be worried about what you might do next, or if you'll never be content. Just smile and nod and in a few weeks they'll be past it.

I'd definitely be a bit concerned if it was my sister. Everyone starts off with a little bit of subtle filler and then they get a little bit more and before you know it it's leaking out beyond the line of their lips and they go full on duck face. It happens a lot. A friend of mine started as you did and now, as much as I love her and would never say it, she looks fucking ridiculous.

I just find it sad that women feel so much pressure to look a certain way that they put their bodies through so much.

I'd enjoy being the weight yoy want for a while otherwise you could spend your life getting "little things" done surgically abs tbh, that doesn't equate with contentment.

not engaging and defending - its really hard - but it is so powerful and to just say thanks for your opinion, then nothing more will eventually get the message across

well done on the weight loss

I do wonder if there is some noses put out of joint as you are blooming...

Tell them to mind their business. You continue to do what makes you feel good.

Wow, they're jealous. 😂

You go girl. I bet you look amazing! Well done on your weight loss, and healthier lifestyle. 😃

This there is a fine line and only you and your friends know where you are on it and it maybe that there is a difference as to where that it

I'd use the money on assertiveness training rather than any further treatments. Then you'll learn how to genuinely not care what other people think about your choices, and how to communicate that clearly and respectfully. It's a super power that doesn't fade with age.

Yes I think it does make a difference if done for cosmetic reasons.

Have you tried the sticky eyelid tape? I did once and looked really odd. But I wonder if anyone has tried it to good effect.

I think you look gorgeous!

Well done on the weight loss and a bigger well done on feeling better about yourself.

Im not one for filler and the like, and I might judge you in private but as long as you can afford it and feel happy with it, then it really is your business.

If your eyelids are affecting your vision you could get a blepharoscopy on the NHS. If you have it done at 34 and have naturally dropping eyelids you're likely to need it done again when you're older. Of course it's your body and your face but everybody who goes too far started with a little tweak, so your family's concern is not unexpected.

Why did you rush to jealousy?

I dont know the op, but it is possible that her "improvements" may look like Katie Price.

And even if they don't, some people just don't like the fake look (not saying op is fake looking, but maybe)

If they were really concerned about you they'd have had a quiet, calm word with you. Sounds to me like they're jealous. I don't like lip fillers at all but yours look natural.

@MrsTerryPratchett I did try the sticky eyelid tape, I couldn’t get it quite even on both sides but I loved the feeling of having that weight off of my eyes! I also tried a little Botox brow lift before opting for surgery but it didn’t do much!

@Delphiniumandlupins I could, but the waiting list for NHS treatment is long and it’s something that I’d rather have the benefit of now.

Congratulations on your weight loss and body confidence OP x

Of course it's not their business - tell them to let it go!

I will be honest, I can't say whether your family have made those comments because they are genuinely concerned or jealous as other posters have mentioned.

However, you are a grown woman and you should do whatever you want with your own body once you have done your own research and assessed any risks involved : )

Op, if you don't mind me asking, who have you booked for your blepharoscopy?

Well done on the weight loss, could even go with the eye job, I have similar issue but am nearly double your age! Definitely going the way my father was with hooded eyes and my eyes even feel tired from trying to hold up that skin!

But the lip fillers, I dunno, you look fine from the front and I often see people like that but then when they turn sideways you see that ridiculous duck like pout and the blurring of the actual upper line of the lip into the surrounding skin. Now maybe I have just seen bad ones and maybe the good ones I haven't noticed but I'd never judge on a front photo, I'd be more interested in side profile.

I’ve gone from size 22.. to size 8/10 over 17 months. With the miracle drug that is Mounjaro. First and foremost.. my blood pressure has gone from 180/120. To 117/73. That alone is enough for me to feel happy - along with cholesterol 1.8 mmol/L
However that weight loss left me with an apron of skin hanging below my pubis .. hideous and no clothes fitted . Size 8/10 everywhere except round the waist . Which was still a 18. I had a tummy tuck.
was is dangerous ? Yes . Like all operations. Was it vane ? . Absolutely. Were my kids worried ? Yes .. very . BUT they also knew how much the excess skin hurt (sores, infections .. anytime the temperature increased and sometimes just by exerting myself) . They all ‘got it’ and helped me research surgery/ understand the risk and make my decision.
The best scariest decision that I have ever made . They have all.. (adult kids, Husband , boyfriend & friends ) have ALL been completely supportive.

Would I like more for the saggy arms and baggy breasts ? Yes of course . Will I do more ? No. Not at the moment . However , if I do .. then it’s my business and no one else’s. My body. My choice !!

Congratulations on your weight loss.
I don't think your family are jealous or want to spoil things for you.
Many people find cosmetic procedures concerning for many different reasons. For example, your lips look bruised and sore in the picture you share, and I would be upset to see someone had hurt themselves to that extent in the pursuit of "beauty" Nothing to do with not wanting you to look good.

@Slimagain that’s amazing, well done you!

Great if it enhances you and you don’t go down the route where everyone looks the same (Love Island type looks) or Liberace. I was just thinking earlier today how David Beckham has mucked about with his face and I wondered what he would have looked like without it, probably very good.

I had a little bit of filler and botox done a few year’s ago and loved the result but it was just a one off (couldn’t afford more). It took ten years off me but in a way that just made me look fresh.

Good luck with your updated look, hope you enjoy it. Your family are probably just worried you'll go all Wildenstein.

Lip fillers look ridiculous and I have no idea why lovely young women feel they need to mutilate themselves in this way. I think it's really sad. They look a mess, they stick out stupidly from the face in profile. So if I were your mum, I would be saying the same.

Nothing to do with jealousy.