To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

[Maezzle]

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

Im now distracted by the ridiculously high prices in whitstable!! 🤣

Precisely, leaving two very young children unattended in a house would definitely raise safeguarding concerns.

50ft you would hear a baby monitor

I am one of the most relaxed parents I know in terms of what I've done with my kids but this is not OK. They are preschoolers, and that age group can be unpredictable. I would want to be able to hear them cry, not just keep the windows in view. If I couldn't hear them cry and neither could anyone else I would not swim in a pool in the garden either.

Totally unnecessary too as you say 'we' so you are clearly not the only adult

What the hell are you talking about? Obviously NOT!!!! This would constitute child abuse imo. YABVU and utterly selfish.

I wouldn’t leave children alone in the house to go in a swimming pool, and certainly not in the sea.
You shouldn’t be leaving children alone at all. Not to go to the shops, for a walk, just not at all. They might wake up and cause a safety issue( like my little bro who accidentally caused a fire by flicking a light switch on and off repeatedly- fortunately there was an adult when that happened) or they might let in someone knocking at the door( like my 2 year old did- luckily it was his dad) or something might happen to you/ drowning, falling over in the dark, being attacked. There’s too much that can go wrong.

I think the rule for me was that I was in earshot if they cried, or fell out of bed. I would happily potter in the garden near the house, but I wouldn't be comfortable popping next door, which a lot of my friends were happy to do.

If you're swimming, would you he able to hear? I wouldn't at that age.

Christ no. I live the same (or less) distance from the sea and I wouldn’t leave mine! Can’t you take it in turns? Thank you for making me feel like a better mum though

Do you know how far away 50ft is?

But they have windows and doors on more than one wall of the house...thats the bit of op I'm struggling most with not the (gorgeous) house on the beach...I can (jealously) picture that.

As I said above, in your garden you are likely to hear your DC and your dc are likely to hear you. You will hear a fire alarm and can immediately react, you will hear and intruder or any other kind of emergency

There's only a small body of wayer, if dc come looking you will immediately see them near the water. Its also go absolutely no current, no rocks, driftwood, reeds, seaweed underwater. A ladder to quickly get out of the water, so very low risk. It's normally a reasonably temperature I.e. not a body of cold water like the sea/a lagoon.

You can have the backdoors unlocked and open, and the garden enclosed. So again if DCs go wandering they can't go far.

If you can't hear your DC from the pool then no I wouldn't swim in it while small DC are asleep

I was always about leaving the house to sit in the garden - yes - and I’m quite a relaxed parent in many other scenarios. But when my kids woke in the night, it was usually because they were scared or ill and I couldn’t bear the idea that they would come looking for me and I wasn’t immediately available. They would definitely panic if we weren’t obviously in the house

There's definitely houses that face the sea only.. Ramsgate has these built into cliffs. But there's a road between the houses and the beach.

It's so that you can go swimming at night and leave small children unattended. Premium.😂

Jesus. I panic leaving mine in bed to take the bins out

Go for it. Have a swim in the sea. Nothing has ever happened at sea. Or to small children unattended. Enjoy!

Close but no cigar, that’s got a back door!

ETA and windows at the back.

Those cottages aren’t really representative! They are ridiculously cute and directly on the beach. A normal 3 bedroom terrace house a street or two inland would be about half that.

Your house sounds amazing @Maezzle !!!

I wouldn't be hugely concerned about kidnapping or drowning, but you can't guarantee the children wouldn't wake, even if they're usually great sleepers. They could have a nightmare, be woken by a loud noise, be sick ... half an hour would feel like years if you're scared and crying for your parents. Awful that you're even considering it to be honest.

The answer is a lot of it is vibes. The number of times people here say, 'I wouldn't do x because what if something happened to me while I was away from my child?' and I agree I also wouldn't do the thing but can't help thinking of all the things that can happen to you at home while looking after a child solo.

That's completely different. Madeleine's parents left 3 small children alone in a hotel room while they went out for dinner - absolutely unforgivable and irresponsible. If they hadn't been middle-class, wealthy and well-connected the other 2 kids would have been taken into care.

I wouldn't they are your responsibility always even when sleeping just take it in turns .

I’d take it in turns to go swimming rather than leave the preschoolers alone in the house.

Ignoring the sea safety aspects, I’m not at all convinced that you’d be close enough to hear if the children woke and became distressed or started wandering around the house looking for you.
Plus the open window’s a potential safety risk. One of my DC climbed up onto windowsills more than once as a preschooler.

Intrigued about a house that has nothing at the back and only garden between it and the sea. No promenade, no paths, nothing. It can’t be in the UK anyway because there is no coastline that is completely safe here.

YABU to leave your kids home alone btw, however much you excuse it.