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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

462 replies

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:44

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

OP posts:
WolfFoxHare · 12/07/2025 19:04

A pool on your own property is completely different. For one thing, it’s unlikely you’d ever get into trouble in a pool, assuming you are reasonably competent swimmers - it’s not like the sea or even a lagoon or lake ffs. For another, you’d be right there in your garden if one of them woke up and called for you, or if there was a fire (or an intruder). I’ve read some bloody stupid things on MN but this is certainly up there in the top ten.

Whaleandsnail6 · 12/07/2025 19:04

You keep saying "we" so why are you even asking?

Surely the obvious solution to not contemplating leaving preschoolers home alone is to swim separately?

pizzaandchips123 · 12/07/2025 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MsTamborineMan · 12/07/2025 19:04

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 12/07/2025 19:02

What kind of weird-ass house do you live in?!

Does OP live in a greenhouse? A house with no doors and windows on one side?

HettieHg · 12/07/2025 19:05

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

Where do you live? An old western jail?

Whaleandsnail6 · 12/07/2025 19:06

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

Only one side of your house has windows and doors?!

Allseeingallknowing · 12/07/2025 19:06

You shouldn’t have to ask ! Of course it’s not ok!

HettieHg · 12/07/2025 19:06

A house with no doors and windows on one side thats 15ft from the sea, which is more like a lagoon?

This is too funny 🤣

JackJarvisEsq · 12/07/2025 19:06

I struggled with the idea of going for a shower when mine was little never mind frolicking in the sea!

StMarie4me · 12/07/2025 19:07

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:00

Oh right, my mistake. I didn't realise Madeleine's parents had all the doors in windows of the house in view at all times. I thought they were out of sight.

Your flippant attitude is repugnant. Just because you have not been given the validation that this would all be okay.
You need to take it in turns.

despairofbadscience · 12/07/2025 19:07

You asked peoples opinions and then when given them got snippy with people. You know what go swimming it’s obviously what you want to do but if the worst happens it’s on you

JustAnInchident · 12/07/2025 19:07

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

What 😂 sorry I cannot picture this at all.

Funnily enough we’ve a similar set up re proximity to the sea, although it isn’t a millpond as your sea seems to be.. regardless, it’s not a good idea. Anything could happen and it isn’t worth doing imo.

WingSlutz · 12/07/2025 19:07

Fucking hell. Madeleine McCann.

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/07/2025 19:08

Diagram needed 😆

Annascaul · 12/07/2025 19:08

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

The front and back of your house are on the same side...
You realise this defies the laws of physics, right? But then you live beside the sea which isn't actually the sea at all so I suppose it all fits.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2025 19:08

It’s totally unnecessary. How could you guarantee you’d hear the kids crying or the smoke alarm going off from 30 meters away in the water? How can you be certain you’d be able to get back to the house fast enough incase of a fire or intruder? Either your house is unlocked or your keys are available to get lost or stolen. And for what? Just to be self indulgent. It’s a stupid thing to do

Somethingsnapped · 12/07/2025 19:09

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:00

Oh right, my mistake. I didn't realise Madeleine's parents had all the doors in windows of the house in view at all times. I thought they were out of sight.

I'm pretty certain that Madeleine's parents also probably convinced themselves that what they were doing was OK, for this reason, and that reason....

They are preschoolers op, this is not OK. I'm actually concerned you are thinking this is alright. Anyway, how can you possibly be certain they won't wake up? They would be extremely distressed to find themselves alone. I couldn't bear the thought of this.

m00ngirl · 12/07/2025 19:10

I don’t think it’s a bad idea just because of the swimming , I think it’s a bad idea because you’re leaving very small children unattended who could be crying etc or anything could be going on and you wouldn’t know about it. But so lovely that you have the sea nearby and will be nice for you to enjoy it as a family x

elderlyparentshelp · 12/07/2025 19:10

Do you live in a beach hut? That’s the only way I can see how you’d be so close to the sea with no windows on one side!!

christinaks · 12/07/2025 19:11

I mean the question is is it okay to leave my young children in the house unsupervised? No.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2025 19:13

elderlyparentshelp · 12/07/2025 19:10

Do you live in a beach hut? That’s the only way I can see how you’d be so close to the sea with no windows on one side!!

Ah but it’s more of a lagoon than a sea now so beach hut is out

Surroundedbyfools · 12/07/2025 19:13

This is a joke yeah ? Surely u cannot think this is ok to do ?

MsTamborineMan · 12/07/2025 19:13

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

A house with the front and back on the same side?

Is your house only 2D? Just one long wall....how can the front and back be on the same side?

Bloatstoat · 12/07/2025 19:13

YABU. And I would say that if it was a swimming pool in the garden, and you both went for a swim leaving preschoolers asleep in the house.

DurinsBane · 12/07/2025 19:14

Dawnb19 · 12/07/2025 19:02

I would see this as neglect and if someone did this they need reporting. Even today I sat outside with a coffee and had my son on the baby camera while he was having a nap. I wouldn't think of going nextdoor or over the road. I don't agree leaving kids unattended.

I don’t think SS or any authorities would have too many concerns about this. Though I wouldn’t personally do it

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