To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

[Maezzle]

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

Exactly...I imagine MM's parents had some reservations about leaving the children alone but convinced themselves it would be ok as they were checking, the kids were alseep, wouldn't wake up etc, etc, etc.....and probably 9 times out of 10 it is ok to leave them in these circumstances but we all know how awful that 1 incident happening is.

Its just not worth taking the risk. Children are only young for a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things so its not a big ask to expect an a competent person to be around in the home when they are asleep in bed.

No excuse what so ever to leave preschooler children home alone to go to a tapas bar or go swimming in the sea...

a pool wouldn’t be 30m from the house though. You’d have the back door open, you’d hear if the kids woke up, or a fire broke out. You wouldn’t in the sea.

No, anything could happen whilst you’re away, as much as windows will be open, which is unsafe for a variety of reasons, you will probably fail to hear your children if anything happens.

If there’s another adult then take it in turns, ask someone to come babysit, don’t leave the children home alone.

No, because what if Dc wake, wonder where you are and then try to come looking for you in the sea themselves?

I would say the existence of a big hazard like the sea right on your doorstep means you absolutely shouldn’t leave your children unattended at home.
That’s why people with swimming pools need fences and pool alarms.

Children can wake up, they can open doors, they can react unpredictably to their parents being missing for half an hour.

At least if you were in a pool in the garden you would presumably hear them, or see them if they came looking for you, but I can’t imagine the same would be true of the sea.

Fifteen meters, so 50ft, my garden is longer than that, I am regular at the other end whilst kids slept (they are grown now)

I don't know the sea where you are but I do where I live now, and I would do it (and on another thread I am seen as a mollycoddler) I wouldn't have done it at the sea where I grew up- I have complete respect for the sea but different areas have different challenges and it is dangerous to not realise the difference.

Oh C'mon, a house with no back windows adjacent to the sea where Mum and Dad want to frolic and leave their children sounds like an incredible place.
YABVU OP but I think you know that.
So if you and dh go out in the sea and get into difficulties what happens to your kids?

Of course you shouldn’t, just act like responsible parents one stay to look after the children and the other go for a swim, then the one that is swimming can come back and the other can swim.

That actually makes sense!

I was trying to imagine this house with windows and doors only on one wall and I just couldnt picture it!

Is your daughter called Madeleine?

Oh my giddy aunt. Not all houses are identikit you know! Some back onto hills, or were built into hills, or face entirely one way because of the weather, or only have one door. There's a lot of variety.

I am not going to go swimming, don't panic.

But now I've asked the question i am fascinated! What are the actual logical differences between say

• a swimming pool in the garden
• a swimming pool just outside the garden but with no fence between
• a small lake
• a very calm predictable bit of sea/lagoon (no sharks or dangerous jellyfish)

Assuming all are exactly the same distance from the house and all other things are equal. I'm questioning how we assess risk I guess.

Obviously not!!!

Depends on the length of your garden honestly! Hot tub or pool on the patio outside your back door, yes. Pool house 20m away, nope.

It’s how far away you are if your child wakes up and comes looking for you - if they aren’t likely to find you, you are too far away. I’d say no to walking over to your stables 50m away, using the home gym/garden office at the far end of a big garden, or anything else where your preschooler wouldn’t be able to easily locate you. Different when it is a twelve year old.

I wouldn't do that either, you shouldn't swim alone.

Just take it in turns. I also live by the sea and couldn't enjoy a swim knowing my child was home alone.

I wouldn’t. Putting aside the dangers of the sea (but only because you insist), I still wouldn’t leave my young kids with no baby monitor etc for half an hour plus. That’s a really long time if one of them wakes up and is distressed/sick/thirsty etc. Plus of course the dangers of them wandering around the house along etc.

Your house has no windows or doors on any other wall other than the one that faces the sea

Logically then there must be a road separating you from the sea? Or does your house not have vehicular access?

I can't imagine a house with just a wall facing the road one side? and all their windows and doors on the other

So your house seriously has 3 walls that do not have any windows or doors?

I honestly cannot picture it at all.

Exactly what @LemondrizzleShark said, you need to be where they can hear you and locate you quickly if they wake up. In the sea is not that place. I don't understand why you can't take it in turns, this is. It worth the risk even if the risk is very minor.

Just basic common sense should tell you this is a ridiculous and ill thought out idea, however you seem desperate to justify yourself. The reason you're struggling is because there is no justification for it.

If you are in your garden the door is open, if you are out of your garden in a lake the door is locked, unless you are ok with child abduction or kids potentially wondering out of house into the lake while you are facing the other way. There are several other reasons and you are just being obtuse.

But in a garden you could keep your back door open and probably hear the DC if they woke up or needed anything. If you're in the sea, you will have to keep the windows and doors closed for their safety so they don't wander out so if they wake up and need you, you won't hear them. Maybe once they're older primary age...but pre schoolers are way too young.

There are some lovely houses right on the beach in Whitstable - link to one. There are probably similar houses in many other seaside towns.

But no OP, I still wouldn’t swim there when your kids are in bed, any more than I would pop to the supermarket.

You say it's safe, more like a pool. I would want to be able to hear my children though. My son has woken up with croup a number of times and needed an ambulance, all my children have vomited in the night etc etc. If you couldn't hear them then I wouldn't however safe the water is.

I wouldn’t go swimming in any body of water that is far away from my house that I couldn’t at least hear a baby monitor.

You really think SS wouldn’t at least have reservations about OP’s parenting if she and her partner left their preschools asleep alone in their property, to go swimming in the sea? Really?