To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

[Maezzle]

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

Yes. She likes to talk to me on it - night mummy. Morning mummy

plus as I’m semi deaf I wouldn’t hear her if she woke while watching tv downstairs or out side in the garden in spa

she wants it rather then me

YABVU. First it's a dip in the sea, then pop down the local corner shop, then going out for a meal on restaurant down the road 😬

I once sat in my husbands new car to check it out on the drive of the house for less than 10 mins with the front door slightly ajar. I closed the car door & seriously after a few mins I could hear something & my preschooler had got out of bed & was crying at the top of the stairs. No idea how long he had been there crying before I realised- I really thought it would be fine because he had been asleep a while & I was only popping out less than a 3 steps from the front door. I was wracked with guilt because I wasn’t there when he was upset & trying to find me 30 seconds is a long time when you’re frightened & crying. I don’t think I’d feel right about going in the sea because of all the potential dangers & even if you were able to hear a cry or the smoke alarm through a window, how long would it realistically take you to get back & would those crucial
seconds make a difference if anything happens… you’d never forgive yourself if something happened & if there’s another adult around it seems silly not to take turns. I’m not one to catastrophise but this feels too risky.

I don't care what it looks like, I WANT TO LIVE THERE!!!!!! 😍😍😍

Really? A house with no doors or windows at the back. The sea only 15 metres from your property… probably not a great bet from an insurance point of view

I’m a social worker and I’d be concerned about this. Nobody ever expects things to happen, yet on occasion they do. The role of a parent is to identify risks as well as possible and then try to avoid them.

You say a friend will come if they have had no contact in 30 minutes. Imagine if a freak accident happened as soon as you both entered the water. The friend would wait for 30 minutes and not hear anything, probably dither for another 10-15 minutes whilst they ensure they’re not overreacting and you don’t suddenly answer them, then start the journey over to your home which would take even more time. By this point your children would have been alone for over 45 minutes.

There’s the risk of fire, children choking on vomit, suffocation, all manner of things which would be reduced if there was a parent already in the home.

I don't care. It sounds great to me.

Are you for real ?

.... Don't do it. I once left the kids in a Greek hotel room to go down for evening dinner but nipped back almost straight away for something. (Years and years ago, well before the Madeline incident and when people left prams outside shops). A massive strange bug was flying around the room absolutely terrorising them! They were screaming until I opened the window for it to fly out. And of course they've only got to wake up having a nightmare or night terrors... Can you imagine if you aren't there? It will happen one day.....

Are you okay…? Of course this is unreasonable. Come on, you know this!

Unfortunately not everyone knows it.

All the neglected kids start off with one little thing at a time.

Not saying OP is, but it's sad that being a parent doesn't come with automatic knowledge on caring for them.

I need to see this listing - can you give a link?!

Sorry it was about 15 years ago. Probably been condemned by now.