Instances where you’ve been the cheeky fucker

[NebulousWhistler]

I’m ashamed to say that I was a cheeky fucker last week.

Son finished up in Y6 and most of the year headed to the park with parents. I was working so went to pick up but couldn’t go to the park so he asked if he could go to the park with the rest of his year/parents which I agreed to.
Got busy at work so forgot the time but knew someone else’s mum would just take him to their house until I eventually was able to leave work (wfh). The other mum didn’t mind at all, (not that I left her much choice really) but it was very entitled of me to assume that someone would look after him. I am rarely this parent but I fell short on this occasion and recognised my CF behaviour immediately.

Aibu to ask you to make me feel better with your own tales of cheeky fuckery?

That goes far beyond CF behaviour. I don't think you should be trying to feel better about that.

Bloody hell, that is a lot OP...

Y6? Why couldn't he just walk home?

This isn’t CF, it’s irresponsible parenting.

He's year 6 so assuming he's not trashed someone else's house if I were the other parent I wouldn't have batted an eyelid over having my child's friend over. At that age they get on with it and don't need constant supervision plus often less effort needed when child has a friend over. Plus last day of school so celebrating. Unless this is last in a long line of you expecting other people to look after your kid and not reciprocating then it's no biggie .

Well at least you have self awareness! In my opinion, most cheeky fuckers are so self-involved that they don’t even know they’re doing it. Or they won’t admit to it.

Not all. i don’t have form for it, thank goodness. I have kids back at mine all the time. Always scooping up waifs and strays if someone is running late, taking them to rugby etc. The other mum didn’t bat an eyelid either, but just because she didn’t mind didn’t mean it wasn’t CFery!

Irresponsible parenting? He’s Y6! This is when they’re meant to start organising themselves and being self reliant. Good on him. He’ll learn to be the sort of pleasant kid who people like having over or tagging along. Don’t sweat it, OP, and maybe have his mates over on a spontaneous basis in return.

It wouldn't have bothered me, but that is more neglectful than CF to be honest op. Would your son not have been worrying when you didn't appear? Hardly sounds like you lost track of time, but 'knew' someone else would sort it.

I'm sure the mum was perfectly nice on the surface, but raising her eyebrows internally.

How far is school?

You were wfh though. That's the bit I dont get. Surely you could have popped out and caught up after?

Asking my neighbour for her WiFi password so I could use it and not pay for my own! I was early 20s and totally lacking in self awareness. Still makes me cringe the things I did and said back then. Now 41 I'm a completely different person.

Never confess anything on Mumsnet 😂

The other mum didn’t bat an eyelid

That’s what all CFs believe. Other mum probably came on here and started a thread about you.

This really isn’t that big a deal.

i agree but at that age there still needs to be a plan.

Round here they all walk to and from school alone in year 6 which unusually involves a bit of time in the park near the school so I don't think that's bad, unless the park is miles away and he needed a lift or something.

If you’re happy to pitch in when the shoe is on the other foot, don’t worry about it. It takes a village and all that. I’m always running someone’s DC to swimming, grabbing someone else’s from football or pinging a message ask if someone else can run DC home from a party if I’m caught up. We’re all busy, kids and parents are all nice. It’s not a big deal.

The first couple of responses are part of the reason we have children with poor resilience in this country. Children need to be allowed opportunities for exploratory play and to develop self risk assessments, this is how they build capacity.

It's not our fault as parents, we've been told there's a paedophile on every street corner waiting to snatch our kids, so we protect them as much as possible. This is reasonable. However, the unintended consequence of this is a generation of children with poor coping strategies.

Read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt.

Not your point OP but I think the more parents who loosen the apron strings the more resilient our kids will be 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was a CF recently asking for cuttings from my neighbours' flowers in his garden - save me a fortune! 🙈

My Y2 DD had a birthday party which was hosted by a Chinese family at a party centre and they were all sat eating McDonalds Happy Meals. I had my Y6 DS with me, but I told him he couldn't join the party as it was rude. We would eat a bit later.

I saw some whispering then the father appeared with another Happy Meal and I noticed my enormous DS sat at the table like Elf with all the other children.

So embarrassing. Such CF'ery from DS.

I don’t think it’s a big deal for Y6 to go to the park without you and I genuinely wouldn’t mind taking someone else’s kids to the park or walking them home. I’d find it really weird they hadn’t just asked though. I often feel like a portion of mumsnet think asking for help amounts to CF. If so I’m guilty. I’ll ask people to help with drop offs or pick ups or logistics generally if stuck. I’m also happy to help other people when they are stuck. It’s very clear some people are uncomfortable with the idea and others very happy to do it.

I try to never be a CF but a few weekends ago I asked for help overseeing my teenager at an event (I couldn’t be there due to a previously agreed appointment) and ended up causing the parent helping me untold worry that my child was hurt. Honestly feel terrible and now feel like I can never ask for help again.

@NebulousWhistler you are most definitely a cheeky fucker of the highest order!

Oh that’s funny 🤣. Hopefully you offered then some cash to cover it?

Bit much to expect a y6 kid to sit in McD’s without food while his sister eats and you don’t give him enough attention to keep him distracted (you noticed him at the party table)!