Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Instances where you’ve been the cheeky fucker

107 replies

NebulousWhistler · 11/07/2025 06:46

I’m ashamed to say that I was a cheeky fucker last week.

Son finished up in Y6 and most of the year headed to the park with parents. I was working so went to pick up but couldn’t go to the park so he asked if he could go to the park with the rest of his year/parents which I agreed to.
Got busy at work so forgot the time but knew someone else’s mum would just take him to their house until I eventually was able to leave work (wfh). The other mum didn’t mind at all, (not that I left her much choice really) but it was very entitled of me to assume that someone would look after him. I am rarely this parent but I fell short on this occasion and recognised my CF behaviour immediately.

Aibu to ask you to make me feel better with your own tales of cheeky fuckery?

OP posts:
reelcat · 11/07/2025 07:36

I'd say not a CF as it's year 6. By year 5 random friends would appear at my house after school and were always welcome. They would either get a phone call to go home, or a parent would wander by on a dog walk to pick them up, ocassionally we would check if they needed a lift home if the weather got bad or it was getting near tea time. Children of that age need to start sorting their social lives to an extent. It probably does depend where you live in the country but I am suprised so many think it is a massive no.

Fundayout2025 · 11/07/2025 07:39

Barrenfieldoffucks · 11/07/2025 07:03

It wouldn't have bothered me, but that is more neglectful than CF to be honest op. Would your son not have been worrying when you didn't appear? Hardly sounds like you lost track of time, but 'knew' someone else would sort it.

I'm sure the mum was perfectly nice on the surface, but raising her eyebrows internally.

Why neglectful. Son surely old enough to walk himself home. He will be at secondary school in a few weeks

Fundayout2025 · 11/07/2025 07:41

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 11/07/2025 07:16

You were wfh though. That's the bit I dont get. Surely you could have popped out and caught up after?

Surely the DS could've made his own way home

BeachPossum · 11/07/2025 07:47

People are always so strange on these types of threads. I wouldn't blink an eye at another mum hoping I'd keep an eye on her kid while she was stuck at work. I would hope any of the mums I know would feel confident that I'd step in in these circumstances without a moment's bad feeling.

People want a community or a village to be there for them in times of need, but then get on their high horses about being the village for other people. But being there for others in a pinch is what makes a community! If you're so haughty and transactional about it you'll never create one.

Seventree · 11/07/2025 07:48

CF would have been messaging the mum last minute and asking her to take him. Just forgetting him and assuming someone would pick up your slack is completely irresponsible parenting. Anything could have happened.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/07/2025 07:50

EdenFromTheEast · 11/07/2025 07:25

My Y2 DD had a birthday party which was hosted by a Chinese family at a party centre and they were all sat eating McDonalds Happy Meals. I had my Y6 DS with me, but I told him he couldn't join the party as it was rude. We would eat a bit later.

I saw some whispering then the father appeared with another Happy Meal and I noticed my enormous DS sat at the table like Elf with all the other children.

So embarrassing. Such CF'ery from DS.

Um… you were the CF, not the child. Not sure what being Chinese has to do with anything!

Victoriawould24 · 11/07/2025 07:52

I don’t think there’s anything wrong here at all, you are part of a community and people help each other out. I don’t get what the problem is at all.

If you were out drinking Prosecco or on a date or just cba and did it all the time that would be very sad for your son and very cf behaviour (I have encountered mums like this but still help out for the child’s sake ).
You were working and it’s perfectly understandable that you are not available all the time, what ever happened to it takes a village!

itisnotknitting · 11/07/2025 08:01

So you left your son at the park with no plan for how/when he would come home?

Globules · 11/07/2025 08:14

Can we stop analysing @NebulousWhistler 's parenting?!

I'd like to hear other stories of CF, not the MN pile on arguing about 10 year old children's (lack of) resilience.

I'm trying to think of a story to share, but I can't.

Probably because as PP pointed out, people don't know when they're being CFs

EzLife · 11/07/2025 08:20

Arewethebadguys · 11/07/2025 07:25

The first couple of responses are part of the reason we have children with poor resilience in this country. Children need to be allowed opportunities for exploratory play and to develop self risk assessments, this is how they build capacity.

It's not our fault as parents, we've been told there's a paedophile on every street corner waiting to snatch our kids, so we protect them as much as possible. This is reasonable. However, the unintended consequence of this is a generation of children with poor coping strategies.

Read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt.

Not your point OP but I think the more parents who loosen the apron strings the more resilient our kids will be 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was a CF recently asking for cuttings from my neighbours' flowers in his garden - save me a fortune! 🙈

Brilliant book: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt - a must read for every parent who wants their DC to grow up well balanced and ready for independence…

BeachPossum · 11/07/2025 08:20

I was a CF last week. I had three massive boxes of stuff to take to a charity shop. I deliberately left them on my porch when my lovely in laws came to visit because I knew they'd offer to take them to the charity shop for me 😎

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2025 08:20

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/07/2025 07:50

Um… you were the CF, not the child. Not sure what being Chinese has to do with anything!

Show quote history

Possibly because the Chinese are notoriously community minded and wouldn't leave anyone out. I have a lot of Chinese neighbours and they are the best, loveliest neighbours i could wish for ♥️

Bromptotoo · 11/07/2025 08:21

Year 6 are 11?

Presumably the park was too far away for walking home?

Did child have a mobile and emergency money for the bus?

When mine were that age I used to get infuriated about people thinking they were helpless and needed 'rescuing' 'cos I'd got caught in traffic and was five minutes late picking them up from football. Or the Guide leader who wouldn't let 11yo DD leave the building on her own to walk to my car parked outside. At her age I was travelling five miles to scouts on the bus.

EdenFromTheEast · 11/07/2025 08:24

@AMurderofMurderingCrowsexactly.

protectthesmallones · 11/07/2025 08:25

I’ve done that @NebulousWhistlerbut i did text one of the mum’s in the class once I realised I wouldn’t make it back so I could collect from hers after.

We used to have a soft understanding and do this as it was a small group of 15 who had been at nursery together and moved up through the infants together in that same group. the mums all knew each other.

BetterWithPockets · 11/07/2025 08:26

Globules · 11/07/2025 08:14

Can we stop analysing @NebulousWhistler 's parenting?!

I'd like to hear other stories of CF, not the MN pile on arguing about 10 year old children's (lack of) resilience.

I'm trying to think of a story to share, but I can't.

Probably because as PP pointed out, people don't know when they're being CFs

This!
(I can’t think of an example either, but I’m sure there will have been some!!)

Carodebalo · 11/07/2025 08:28

Don’t worry about it OP. Maybe you should have called the other mum and asked, but as you say you fell short this time and recognised it. You sound like you would have taken another child home too if it were the other way around. So no big drama, we’re all human. (Honestly I don’t understand some of the other reactions making you sound like you’re some kind of axe murderer!)

Newbutoldfather · 11/07/2025 08:31

Yeah YABU!

Cheekyfuckery on MN is just a synonym for rude entitled behaviour.

Been the parent with a child dumped on me until 9PM after a birthday party that finished at 3PM. You put on a rictus smile and say ‘no problem’, doesn’t mean that it isn’t.

Those parents did have form, though, and ultimately their child paid the price by no longer being invited anywhere (or telling parents one had to stay).

No one likes being taken advantage of. And to brag about being rude isn’t pleasant.

VioletsandDill · 11/07/2025 08:38

That wasn't CFery and you know it OP! Come on now.

I'll bite.

I went on a date with a very well off guy in my early twenties. He was mid thirties. He insisted on paying, for a lovely afternoon tea at a posh restaurant. I knew I didn't fancy him and it wasn't going anywhere, but I went on date 2 and 3 anyway so I could get a posh dinner as I was very much a broke young person in London at that point. Had some lovely steak and fancy seafood.
That's CFery!

Chocdown · 11/07/2025 08:38

I think I was a CF last year. My oldest was invited to a party which I thought required me to stay (standard party format for his friendship group). I was solo parenting that day so said he couldn’t attend as I had no childcare for my daughter. The mum extended the invite to my daughter but when we got there it was clearly a ‘drop and go’ party. My youngest was too young to leave there and I couldn’t face the battle of taking her with me so I stayed and let the mum make me cups of tea 😳. I’m still a bit haunted by it, but it was also the most relaxing 2 hours I’ve had in the last decade. And I always check the stay or leave requirements of parties now so I have learned from the experience and grown as a person 🤣

Jenkibuble · 11/07/2025 08:43

NebulousWhistler · 11/07/2025 06:46

I’m ashamed to say that I was a cheeky fucker last week.

Son finished up in Y6 and most of the year headed to the park with parents. I was working so went to pick up but couldn’t go to the park so he asked if he could go to the park with the rest of his year/parents which I agreed to.
Got busy at work so forgot the time but knew someone else’s mum would just take him to their house until I eventually was able to leave work (wfh). The other mum didn’t mind at all, (not that I left her much choice really) but it was very entitled of me to assume that someone would look after him. I am rarely this parent but I fell short on this occasion and recognised my CF behaviour immediately.

Aibu to ask you to make me feel better with your own tales of cheeky fuckery?

The average year 6 child can be at a park on their own . He will be going to senior school in a few months !!!!!!

I would have messaged child and informed them that you trust them to make their own way home etc.

My kids thirved / thrive on this repsonsbility .

Helicopter parenting can be irresponsible too !

ClairDeLaLune · 11/07/2025 08:47

Good grief! Some of the replies on here! Year 6 kids don’t really need looking after. By that age they’re perfectly capable of getting themselves to a friend’s house and staying for hours with minimum parental intervention. If there had been an issue the mum would’ve said. YANBU at all, and definitely not a CF.

Stressedoutmama58 · 11/07/2025 08:51

BeachPossum · 11/07/2025 07:47

People are always so strange on these types of threads. I wouldn't blink an eye at another mum hoping I'd keep an eye on her kid while she was stuck at work. I would hope any of the mums I know would feel confident that I'd step in in these circumstances without a moment's bad feeling.

People want a community or a village to be there for them in times of need, but then get on their high horses about being the village for other people. But being there for others in a pinch is what makes a community! If you're so haughty and transactional about it you'll never create one.

But MN is great at complaining to parents they don’t have a village when they are stuck to go to an ultrasound or having to juggle something. Telling them it’s their fault they should make more friends.

Yet if you want help you are also a CF and expecting anyone to help with your children isn’t anyone else’s problem and you made your bed. Or back in my day we didn’t have any help and just managed 😂😂

Bubblesgun · 11/07/2025 08:56

@NebulousWhistler
i am the same as you and wouldnt have cared. What would have pissed me off though is the asumption thats what I call taking the piss and entitlement.

i would have expected a text saying apologetically that you re stuck and would you mind with lots of thank yous and no pressure of you cant (knowing i ll be fucked if she couldnt take my child).

time to but your Y6 child on the bus or let him walk. He/she is big enough unless there are some ND

Sunnysidegold · 11/07/2025 09:06

When I was at high school I was a quiet girl who didn't really fit in. I had friends but felt very uncomfortable out in parties and big groups.

Went to a party at a girl's house. I had a few drinks with my best mate when getting ready so I like to think this is behind my behaviour somewhat. when I got there, for some weird reason, felt it would be ok to walk up to her stereo, declare the music to be shit, and rifle through her CDs and put on something else. I put on something I didn't even like and started bopping my head along.

As I was doing it I was thinking "stop doing this you're being so rude". It felt like some out of body experience to be honest. This was thirty years ago and every so often it pops into my head and I die of embarrassment all over again.

The worst of it was, when I next saw the girl and I tried to apologise, she was so lovely about it and said it didn't matter it had been funny.