Instances where you’ve been the cheeky fucker

[NebulousWhistler]

I’m ashamed to say that I was a cheeky fucker last week.

Son finished up in Y6 and most of the year headed to the park with parents. I was working so went to pick up but couldn’t go to the park so he asked if he could go to the park with the rest of his year/parents which I agreed to.
Got busy at work so forgot the time but knew someone else’s mum would just take him to their house until I eventually was able to leave work (wfh). The other mum didn’t mind at all, (not that I left her much choice really) but it was very entitled of me to assume that someone would look after him. I am rarely this parent but I fell short on this occasion and recognised my CF behaviour immediately.

Aibu to ask you to make me feel better with your own tales of cheeky fuckery?

At age 11 I don't think that's a big deal. My dd year 6 walks to/from school on her own. So doesn't need to be looked after round someone's house. She knows to text or come home first, if going to the park. It's all within less than a mile though, so different if you live further.

If you often have kids round yours then I don't think it's that bad, as long as the other parent is definitely OK with it. Not much looking after at that age, they are just hanging out together.

"I am rarely this parent but I fell short on this occasion and recognised my CF behaviour immediately."

...As if that makes it ok?

Just make a phone call and make arrangements.

@NebulousWhistler
This is why phones when they're getting independent are fantastic.
You could have sent a message and sorted it without feeling cheeky.
But I don't think it's cheeky if you do the same back. In year 6 they're pretty able to look after themselves so won't be a lot of hassle ..
And are more than capable of understanding that they're not at a year 2 party and have to wait until later to eat. I'd expect a year 2 to understand that at a year 6 party too.

I clicked on this thread thinking it would be fun but it’s just a crabby nightmare. Is everyone too hot?!

Many years ago, I did a sport with a friend. It was the best part of an hour to get there on the bus but 15mins in the car and friend drove literally past my house so I happily took up her offer of a lift. Twice a week, plus longer drives to competitions. I didn’t drive and somehow it never occurred to me to offer petrol money or other recompense.

i can’t tell you how hard I cringe now. Absolutely mortified and I try to make it up to her now by treating her when I see her but… fuck, what was wrong with me???

Why ? He went to the park with his friend and on to friends house afterwards. OP said the mum didn’t mind. Not sure why anyone would object to their childs’ friend coming home with them once in a while to help them out.

Oh OP, trust me, no one is going to make you feel any better. Stand by for a sanctimonious pile on, and a nitpicking critique of your parenting skills !!

I think the heat is certainly getting to people.

My own CF story: DS was invited to a birthday party at DD's favourite place to play, but I forgot about the party on the morning, until 11am (it started at 11am) when DS asked "when's that party?" Cue panic stations. I realised I hadn't got anyone to have DD (DH was working). I threw clothes on the kids, crammed them into the car, got halfway down the road to the party (5 miles away) and realised we'd forgotten the present and card. We were already 30 minutes late for a 90 minute party by that point so I just kept going. I apologised profusely to the host for both lack of present/card and gatecrashing toddler DD. She said it was fine, but I knew it wasn't. I'm usually really strict with the kids about not gatecrashing each other's parties but I just had to get DS to that party somehow.
The best part was, part-way through the Happy Birthday song that the dad was videoing, I finally realised I'd forgotten to brush mine or the kids' hair before we'd left.
If that mum is reading, I'm really sorry (again), we were a car wreck that day.

I used to be someone who would go to house parties or dinner parties and then (we’d normally sleep over), I would take my booze home with me the next day if I hadn’t drunk it, but I had drank theirs. CRINGE!!
I’ve tried to make up for it over the years but just popping over with bottles of wine etc, sending nice gifts. I just internally cringe when thinking about it. 😬😬

Oh and one person I did that to a few times is now a published author, so in guilt I bought 3 of her books 😂

DD gets a lift to and from volleyball training 3 times a week from the mum of her teammate because I don't finish work in time to take her myself. I tried offering her petrol money but she refused! Bought her some nice chocolates at Christmas to at least give her something.

OP, why didn't your child just walk home? Or was it too far away?

My cheeky fuckery was when I completely forgot DS's parents evening this year, and his was the last time slot so his teacher waited for no reason, and then I asked her if we could reschedule.

I don't think that's terrible but you'll get a pile-on! I've taken kids back to my house in similar situations and not cared at all. Working mums should help each other out (and do, at least at my kids' school).

I'm sure I've done some CF stuff when I was young and poor and more a twat generally (with age does at least come some self-awareness) but can't think of anything off the top of my head.

I was a massive CF once about 15 years ago, but it was a complete mistake and I was mortified. Basically I was offered something and I asked for something even better, but I had misheard the situation and thought I was sort of ordering like with a waiter - I didn't realise the person was offering to buy it for me. I must have sounded horrendously rude, and my friend gently pointed it out to me, at which point I went and apologised profusely and begged him to let me pay for it. He didn't. 🤣 I still think about it a lot. Awful CF behaviour!

I take sneaky cuttings of plants that I like, if they are hanging over people’s fences growing straggly I justify that it is just pruning. I have to be careful or ring doorbells these days!

I don't think this is CFery. I'm assuming you said thank you every time? I used to go to zumba with a friend & would pick her up on the way. I thought nothing of it & wouldn't have expected petrol money

I know, but I’m usually a pretty good mum (imo!) so not too concerned. It was irresponsible but I know all the mums well and in reality I knew someone would scoop him up. No one would have left him and I’d have done the same for another child without batting an eyelid. And regularly do.

But yes I should asked in advance which was the CF part.

DS is 11.5; we live close enough to the park so he could walk but he’s only ever walked to school on his own so i am not quite ready for him to walk home from the park alone. It’s a bit further.
There have been some instances of older boys mugging younger ones in this park also.

He was at the other boys house for an hour tops and they played some Lego, played football in the garden and watched TV. I messaged the mum after apologising profusely and she was lovely about it, that he was great company for her son.

Incidentally I have read Anxious Generation and it’s the main reason DS doesn’t have a phone. I’ll be getting him a brick at some point next year.

Really it was a meant to be a lighthearted thread and was looking for a few other funny CF moments so have enjoyed reading those. As I moved down the thread I was wondering to myself would the next post be a funny anecdote or telling me that social services should be called on me

It is AIBU (contemplated posting in Chat) so was prepared for it.

It’s neglect really because what if everyone was only concerned with taking their own child home or they had somewhere to be straight after? He could have ended up anywhere.

Love this story, it's like something out of the Inbetweeners. I am picturing you dancing like Rik from the Young Ones..

The thing is he could have walked home alone. He would have been fine. Either way he’d have walked out of the park with everyone else as most people live in the same area.

Got busy at work so forgot the time but knew someone else’s mum would just take him to their house until I eventually was able to leave work

Yes it's CFery...
But to do it in regards to your own DC and just forget about them hoping someone else will see to them is on another level.

There's no excuse to forget the time, set an alarm on your phone.

Feel quite sorry for a DC who's parent has an 'oh well to late now' attitude but really just can't be bothered to show up to collect them.

But how did you know someone would be available to take your ds back with them? Or even notice he was alone at the end and offer to have him over? I wouldn’t just assume someone would notice my ds and take them in tbh it sounds a little negligent more that cf.

It's the lack of a plan coupled with no communication between the parents that seems odd to me. I happily allow my 10 year old to go to the park without me but she always knows when and how she will get home. Usually she just walks back herself but I will give her a time to be back for. Sometimes she will go to a friend's house but then the friend's parent will text and let me know she's there. I can't imagine just dropping her at the park and then waiting to see how things pan out... 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm going back years here-dd used to go to brownies

I'd drop her off every Thursday and my (narcissistic) mother would pick her up,drop her off back at home and she'd go to bed from there

Well,this one Thursday it was a heatwave,I was very pregnant and knackered,(i gave birth the following week) had the week from hell and it slipped my mind that today was a Thursday

Genuine mistake on my part

First I knew about it was when my mother hammered on my door,screaming at me that she'd had a wasted trip (2 minutes drive) and what a shit parent I was for not taking her and that I was a waste of time for wasting her time

I tried to explain but got nowhere-I was a cheeky cow for not letting her know-I took that guilt tripping for months afterwards

I made sure she went every bloody Thursday after that until she left

So I was a cf for forgetting what day it was

Same baby that i was pregnant with at the time,decided he was on his way at half 5 in the morning

My mother had agreed to drive me to the hospital (and Id made it clear all the way through my pregnancy that would be it-i didnt want her at the birth,she agreed to this)

So I rang her and got screamed at for daring to wake her up at half 5 and how dare I fake being in labour on her birthday?

I was doing this to piss her off

I told her I'd just phone an ambulance but she got even shittier with me before snarling she'd be 5 minutes

Got to the hospital and she demands to come in with me,to which I refuse and she finally leaves after the midwife told her to leave (this story,if you listen to her,is that I'd wanted her at the birth but once I'd used her for a lift,had got to the maternity doors,gone through them and slammed them in her face while telling her to fuck off)

Gave birth 45 minutes later and rang her to update her on how she was now a granny to a gorgeous baby boy

Another 50 minutes of screaming that I'd ruined her birthday,it was her day and I'd ruined it and while I was at it,how dare I not allow her at the birth?this was her moment,her birthday and I'd ruined it

So ds and I where the cfs that day

I'm now nc with her and the rest of that rotten family

Ha yes. There was one on this very subject. Was it on this or last week, OP?