Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

So you believe he arrived after her, got lost within 1 minute of walking on a single path in and out, and was walking so quickly that he was lucky enough to catch up to OP?

Where did he come from to get lost?

Always follow your gut, there’s no need to be ‘polite’. If you’re uncomfortable don’t be too shy to leave the space

It’s shit isn’t it OP that women feel so vulnerable. I avoid our very local woods dog walking because I feel too isolated.
Today I literally drove the 2 mins it takes with my dog ( because it’s so hot) to walk there so it would be shady and cool . Within 3mins a guy appeared ,probably minding his own business and I went straight back to car and drove home . He was probably fine but I have been spooked too often to hang around.Women shouldn’t have to worry about their safety.

I tell my daughter this, if in any doubt at all run like hell. It would take a very fit fast guy to catch her and would draw instant attention.

Then she wears shoes she can't run in. 😢

Duplicate.

He's a dick he
knew exactly what he was doing
Well done for keeping yourself safe

Sorry to clarify, I wasn't expecting to see this particular man head on - just that I arrived in the car park, lingered there awhile whilst I changed into my boots, then entered the trail through the only entrance. I at that point only expected to see other people coming towards me (heading back to the car park) - as anyone that close behind me I would have seen arriving in the car park when I did. Someone could of course have joined the path behind me after I started walking, but as I heard/felt the person behind me within only a minute of entering the trail, it is very very strange I hadn't seen him park up (you have to drive to get there and walk through the car park to the entrance to the trail).

The man either had parked up after I did in a very quiet electric car (or I would have heard the engine) and arrived at the start of the trail moments after I entered very quickly as it was such a small window of time, which could explain why I didn't know he was behind me (very unlikely), or had entered shortly beforehand but wandered to the right, into the trees between the trail and the main road and lingered there - either due to being uncertain of his surroundings, or something more sinister.

It's tricky to describe a woodland setting accurately, but I hope that makes more sense.

I’m not in the UK but if you have an iPhone there is an alarm on there. Just press 5 times on the button on the right. Try it but be prepared to turn it off as it goes to the police. It is very loud. Surely it is the same in UK..?

I hope you're OK. His reasoning about being lost is odd because if he was close to a road and lost you would look for help that way and certainly not follow someone through woodland.
I'd report it - best case scenario it could be nothing and genuine stupidity on the man's behalf but better to have it on their radar should anyone else encounter something similar. You can't be too careful.

I haven't read the replies so I'll give an independent answer.

You voluntarily walk alone in a densely wooded area daily with nobody else around.
All I can say is your a braver woman than me & I'm extremely brave in most situations. The fact is much as I would love to do this I wouldn't dream of walking alone under the circumstances you describe. It can feel threatening enough walking alone in a quiet residential area especially at night.

It's a turn of phrase, not a precise statement of zero risk.

Attackers are rare and lost people are common, so most likely he wasn't intending to harm the OP. None the less he was bloody rude and the OP was right not to take the chance.

Maybe he was ”practising” to see how you would react and what you would do. I find it hard to believe he was lost.

Was there a car when you returned to the car park? I would have been scared out of my wits.

I am sure they do. They can still get into trouble for misusing it....they need to be careful.

lost people in woodland (longtime forest dogwalker) are not common. When they are genuinely lost they don't behave as the OP described.

I live in an area with a private track that leads onto woodlands. DH and I often go for a walk along there but I would NEVER go on my own as I wouldn't feel safe.

The man most likely was an innocent stroller as the majority of men are not rapists...but that isn't something we can risk.

I do think men should be more aware in situations like this. If you are a man and you are in a secluded area with a woman alone be mindful she is most likely feeling wary of you so don't continue following her path!

I'm sure most men are completely oblivious to their presence being seen as a threat as most don't have bad intentions. They also don't know what it is like to have to look over their shoulders from birth through fear of sexual assault. The man in question probably thought you were over reacting or being dramatic... because they can never know how it feels.

I do remember reading an article years ago about a subgroup of men who actually enjoy following women to frighten them. They never follow through with SA but get off on causing panic as it made them feel powerful.

It's so scary when that happens. I was walking my dog in woods once and my dog started growling (which she never does she's a nova scotia they are teddy bears!) I looked behind me and there was a man following. I looked again and he had gone, but my dog started growling and he looked out from behind a tree and then hid again. I took off at that point. Was very scary with no one around. Trust your gut and report to none emergency number.

have you got a link to this on Apple please?

You're not being unreasonable.

I once got a very creepy feeling when I was pushing my children on maternity leave through a local park. There was noone around and I legged it back to the car.

This makes me rage.

As women our world is certainly smaller. Even some of the best men in the world simply don't get it, and have no idea what it is to risk-assess on a daily basis.

I'm a nature-lover. I would love to walk in my favourite happy places: mountains, woodlands, my local river towpath, alone. I can't. Like a poster above I also attract weirdos and it wasn't until intensive therapy that I understood the reasons for this: if you've been a victim in the past they can smell it from a mile away and make a beeline for you. I have a colleague - a fine, intelligent woman but vulnerable and with a very messed-up past in sex work - who attracts this even more than I do.

This calibre of man really is repellent - and it's all very well for some women to sneer at those in this position and say they refuse to live in fear because 'NAMALT'. If they have no insight into this kind of situation then all I can say is lucky them.

I have an
iphone.

i haven't heard of this in the uk.

which button?

You absolutely did the right thing. I’d have done the same. He def was acting weird. Even if he was just innocently lost, you aren’t going to regret acting as u did. Being indecisive and maybe thinking u cld be over reacting, then u cld absolutely regret that. I’m sure many ladies that have come to harm wished they cld have reacted differently.

the majority of men are not rapists

Maybe it's a case of the longer I live, the more cynical I become. But I begin to question this assumption. All it takes is a look back over #MeToo, and the horrifying numbers of women who suffer this hideous, invasive, horrible crime and don't report it. It's happened to me twice. First time was a gang rape. I knew the perpetrators. They utterly humiliated me in the process, making me feel a freak, and by the end my fear was that anyone else would find out and despise and laugh at me as they did. The second time took me two decades to realise actually was rape - maybe because I'd had my perceptions skewed by the violence, humiliation and sheer gravity of the first instance. I'd just assumed that rape meant violence, rather than 'non-consensual'. I was fifteen both times.

My suspicion is the vast, overwhelming majority of people will know at least one rapist. And it might not always be the man you expect.

How horrible. I do a lot of walking like this and I'd have been scared too. You did the right thing. What he said doesn't even make sense, surely he would have been able to hear the road and follow the sound if he were truly lost.

One of my favourite places to walk is very isolated. I always check behind me several times as I'm setting off from the car park, to make sure nobody is following me. If I think I hear someone then I hang back until they pass. Occasionally I have encountered a male and instinctively scan my surroundings to plan an escape route, just in case. I once got a fright when a man started trying to get my attention, my heart was pounding, but it turned out that a lamb had got its head stuck in a metal fence and he needed help to release him.

I actually was attacked many years ago while setting off on a trail. They weren't walkers themselves though -- the trail was off a B road and they had watched me walk along the footpath and go over the stile. Somehow in an adrenaline-fuelled rage I managed to push one of them over. I sprinted back to the road and towards a farmhouse. It didn't put me off walking, but it made me a lot more vigilant about who's around at the starting point.

I can have a look, or just try it. This is what it looks like if I press quickly five times. It counts down. So I can basically have the phone in my pocket and SOS will see where I am and hear what is going on. You have to press five times very quickly though.