To HATE the word fart and just wish people would stop!!

[GospelOakCloak]

Using this world all the time ! There’s no need !!

Why are there so many recent threads about farting? Are you a fart troll, @GospelOakCloak ?

A shart.

But what about a hearty mcfarty party?

In Scotland we say pump.

Omg no 😂
Pump means shag in Scotland!

My mum insisted we use the phrase 'botty burp'. I can still feel the gut wrenching embarrassment of accidently using it in front of my uni friends. I'd rather they'd actually heard me fart.

I hate it too, it’s a horrible word!

I also hate s*t, just sounds so crude and unpleasant to me. I hate all swearing though, another one I’ve just thought of is “a*e.

You’d hate Sweden, OP.

The Stockholm hydrofoil ferry is otherwise known as the farty gas service.

I’m with you, op.

We say ‘pump’ in my family (my dads Scottish, my dear late Gran used to say it too)

It sounds less aggressive and a little more polite than the word fart.

Gosh deffo not

We say pump or trump

I ditched a boyfriend once for calling farts 'pumpydoodles'. Totally justified.

Omg yes!! 🤣

In Upper Austria, you can take the nearest Ausfahrt and visit the delightful village of Rottenegg.

wooftie??

Rumbledepumps.

Never cried laughing so much at a mumsnet post (sorry OP!)

There are so many types of fart/parp/bottom thunder/trump so names can depend on smell/sound:

Rasper is a big loud rattly one

SBD (silent waft that sneaks into nostrils aka Silent But Deadly)

What do you call the long ones that, if talking onomatopia, would sound like "poooooffffft!"

Or as Bart Simpson would say
Beans beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot.

In our house it was:
Beans beans so good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart.

Also, on our house, we say bum notes.

I say pump 😂

In my day we did rudies!

Air biscuit, blanket ripper, chocolate thunder, bowel howl!

I went running today. I did a fartlek session.

There's a saying amongst runners... "never trust a fart after mile 20"

I hate 'drop your guts' and 'guff'

I like fart, or "pumpin gas, out yo ass"

My cousin says "pop-off"

Carpet Frog and Carpet Duck are both used in our house, depending on the exact tone of said tootle.

What NO-ONE wants is the Tandoori Whisper. That emission of death that is the result of a curry the night before (or the same night, depending on your gut speed) and is SOOOO much more than a Silent but Deadly!!!

Can clear a classroom of training squaddies in 5 seconds, no stress.

If you're very good at it, you can earn yourself an extremely handsome living from your skills.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

If we are naming by "types" then there is the "Little Tommy Squeaker" which I think is self explanatory!