To HATE the word fart and just wish people would stop!!

[GospelOakCloak]

Using this world all the time ! There’s no need !!

You've unlocked a core memory from my teenage years with that 🤣

We’re a Botty Cough house here, or sometimes we use Boof (which sounds smelly the way my DH says it). If we’re feeling particularly fancy it’s a Love Puff.
One of my relatives uses Botty Boomer.

But you just said it again! Paaaaaarrrrpppp!

We were never allowed to use the word fart in our house. Imagine my surprise when I was required to study The Canterbury Tales and came across The Miller’s Tale. “This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart……”

I couldn't agree more OP. The correct etiquette is to say, "pardon me, but I think that I just stepped on a frog", or "please excuse my husband!".

Beans beans, make you FART
The more you eat, the more you FART

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Would you prefer we let rip? 🏃 💨

In my day, it was “ guff” !!!!

Despite growing up in a rather uncouth family no one said fart, even friends, and I had assumed it was a much ruder word and was horrified when I saw it used in kids books.

I’m going to take a Norwegian speed bump.

Would you mind stopping that? Yep! Which way did it go? Buddum tish

Genuinely one of the best MN posts of all time.
MN is crackers

My mother said pump
When I was a kid it was Boff, especially at school ...."Urgh James boffed!"
Guff was another school one.

My Aunt would say "Pantie Puff" semi ironically. I was more offended by the use of the word Pantie than I would ever be about fart.

So fart it is.

My DH from Newcastle does!

The rhyme I knew was

Beans, Beans, good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So lets have beans for every meal!

Doesn't that, erm, mean something quite different from a mere eggy puff-puff in Scotland?!

Could be even worse...

Moist farts!

Ohh yeah.....the follow through aka the fart you can't trust

Yes knew there was more to the rhyme, just couldn’t remember.

We used to say Boff at school as well - which then morphed into Frank (as in "Euw, did you just Frank?") in our own childish rhyming slang.

We also used Donald for the same reasoning!

Edit: It wasn't actually rhyming slang, was it, as there was no rhyme?! Oh well, we thought it was rather clever word-play back then anyway!

I was just about to suggest ‘blowing off’ which was the term we used when I was a child (80s, SE England)

If you also sneeze at the exact same time, that's called taking a screen-shot.

You may have stumbled on the answer!

"Please excuse me, I have just Dropped a Donald"

I hate toot, trump and pumped.
makes me feel 🤢
Fart is better.

My parents always called it a trump. "Has someone trumped?" I thought fart was a swear word until I went to secondary school. I heard the words 'fuck' and 'cunt' then too so fart wasn't anything like as interesting